miffy

I've disappeared.

It's a reoccuring train wreck that I've become sadly accustomed to dealing with. What holes do I have in my life that I cannot fill alone?

it is the end of the beginning to the end.

today I felt genuinely tubby. I don't know why, I was just disgusted by myself all day.

it makes me sad. why do I randomly feel like I should just stick my head in the garbage disposal?

one day at a time, one week at a time- I'm making it.

the best part is that only good things can come of this.
the worst part is that only good things can come of this.

sometimes you can't win and there is no middle ground to walk.

have you seen me lately?

I'm freaking out again. calm calm calm calm calm.

I've certainly been a mess recently. I'm about ready to jump ship back to Japan at this point. spaz spaz spaz.

so work is.. not so good. It's nothing that won't get fixed, so there is no consoling me over it - it's just stressful in an annoying completely dumbfounded by how pooped out* the situation is.

I worked all morning and afternoon without leaving my room, when i finally left after some more stress shopping (I'm getting close to 3k this month... you can tell...
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I've been working all day - I haven't let my room all day... and now I'm going to clean up because I need to keep busy for a few hours.

I have a few errands to run too, maybe off to the supermarket... boy do I wish I had a lot of kitchen stuff. or dishes. or cups. or, you know, ANYTHING.




stress. stomach. empty.

today i got three packages.

yesterday I bought a ton of things from Japan.
today I bought more things from the US and Canada.


I am feeling very anti-social. Today is a live in the bed day - things aren't looking up. I didn't do it - really. just work troubles.





I agreed to go to dinner. It's the least I can do... i want...
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I spent the evening sniffing my panties.


more to come later.