fuck

I met someone. And there’s this immediate and intense connection. It’s perfect right now. If I leave, it stays perfect in my head. No drama. No arguments. No fights. Just this perfect moment that will forever be etched into my mind and memories. I know I will long for it and pine over it, in the end. But I don’t want to get hurt again....
Read More

Life is lifeing again. I have my own home now but with the Dictator in charge, I’m scared about what may happen. I try to just live life though.

I took 13.5 months off drinking. Most of the time now, when I do drink I don’t get drunk. Responsibly drinking and socializing unlike all those years I drank and partied hard.

I spend most of...
Read More

How much of our problems are caused by ideas formed from the experiences and traumas we have had? Probably most. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to let go. But sometimes I just want to be the same old asshole I’ve always been. I want to self destruct. I want to burn bridges. I want lay waste to everything around me.

The problem is
Read More

I’m alive still. 42 now. Sober 10 weeks.

My birthday was September 15th. I decided to head back to Arizona for a week to visit friends and get out of the headspace I’ve been in since my grandma died. It’s weird not having parents, let alone not having the person who raised you around. So I bounced from Detroit to Phoenix.

fuck I don’t miss that heat.

I did miss my friends though....
Read More

Gonna take some time and figure out my life. I feel lost again.

My grandma was my world. My rock. The toughest old bird anyone every knew. Im doing my best to honor that by being the strongest person I can be but it’s tough to keep it together and not think the absolute worst.