well, the show last night was slimy and satisfying- i'm pretty sure that we had by far the most interesting time that could possibly have been had on a saturday night in Assbackwards Hellhole, Texas without breaking the law. For one thing, we met a real live vampire, a 14-year-old prostitute, a really friendly 30-year old deaf Down's syndrome patient, a hispanic cowgirl, and a satanist bellydancer. The neatest part though is that someone had miraculously managed to cram all those people inside one 40 year old, somewhat overweight female body.
So, we had 5 fans.
Actually make that 4; I'm not sure sure the hispanic cowgirl was digging it so much.
I think it was perfect- the four schizo-identities were the only ones present that I wanted to like our music besides the friends that we either brought with us or were there because they were playing in one of the other bands. The rest of those hillbilly creed/contemporary christian shitkickers can feast on the contents of my colon- i would have been insulted if they had told me they liked us. Next month we are playing at least one of the clubs on Elm street in dallas, and I am 95% sure that we will be overwhelmed with offers for sexual favors, marriage proposals, and people begging to let them record us, as long as we keep getting better at the rate we have been. The only things i dislike about how last nights gig went was 1)that we didn't have another one to do tonight, and 2)the location. I think pretty much every day that I stay in this blasted bucket of waste is making me more bitter- to the point that I experience aggressive, focused hatred for things that I would otherwise be able to laught at or ignore, and it's because i feel like I am buried under them. I'm old enough now that I'm getting little twinges of desire for some place I could consider home, and damned if it's going to be here. And fuck you to anyone who says every place is the same- people either say that because either 1)they have never reallly been anywhere else except on a temporary outing, or 2) when they moved they always tried to take the last place they were along with them, because it's natural to want to do that, however stupid.
There are 2 reasons why i am still living where i am. The first one is that I really love this band and I am not sure i could find better friends than them anywhere i went, and I know for a fact that both of them want to move also, and the reason they haven't done so yet is the same as my second reason. The second reason is because I need to make it so there is at least some chance that when i get where i am going, I dont have to give blowjobs, sell drugs, steal, or do any other dishonest stuff in order to keep my body in working order. Pretty soon, though, I am afraid that unless some kind of miracle happens the second reason/excuse will become irrelevant anyway, because if my soul is rotting away here, why not just go sell it somewhere before it gets too ripe and stinky?
Wow, this entry sure turned negative quickly. Probably a bit cheesy too, since this crap is what 80% of everyone my age is thinking. I just really want to be one of the few who does something about it. I guess that was all just to say that rocking out on saturday was a pretty big step in the direction i want to be going, even if right now it at least feels like I was taking that step inside a train car heading the other way.
Oh i just wanted to add I just looked at Lily's page and she updated again- everyone should see her posts because it's some of the most exquisitely fucked up stuff I have seen. Sure, it may get old to some people after a while because it's sort of her schtick, but the thing is, even if it is all melodrama, it's also extremely clever- it reminds me of Tennessee Williams.
So, we had 5 fans.
Actually make that 4; I'm not sure sure the hispanic cowgirl was digging it so much.
I think it was perfect- the four schizo-identities were the only ones present that I wanted to like our music besides the friends that we either brought with us or were there because they were playing in one of the other bands. The rest of those hillbilly creed/contemporary christian shitkickers can feast on the contents of my colon- i would have been insulted if they had told me they liked us. Next month we are playing at least one of the clubs on Elm street in dallas, and I am 95% sure that we will be overwhelmed with offers for sexual favors, marriage proposals, and people begging to let them record us, as long as we keep getting better at the rate we have been. The only things i dislike about how last nights gig went was 1)that we didn't have another one to do tonight, and 2)the location. I think pretty much every day that I stay in this blasted bucket of waste is making me more bitter- to the point that I experience aggressive, focused hatred for things that I would otherwise be able to laught at or ignore, and it's because i feel like I am buried under them. I'm old enough now that I'm getting little twinges of desire for some place I could consider home, and damned if it's going to be here. And fuck you to anyone who says every place is the same- people either say that because either 1)they have never reallly been anywhere else except on a temporary outing, or 2) when they moved they always tried to take the last place they were along with them, because it's natural to want to do that, however stupid.
There are 2 reasons why i am still living where i am. The first one is that I really love this band and I am not sure i could find better friends than them anywhere i went, and I know for a fact that both of them want to move also, and the reason they haven't done so yet is the same as my second reason. The second reason is because I need to make it so there is at least some chance that when i get where i am going, I dont have to give blowjobs, sell drugs, steal, or do any other dishonest stuff in order to keep my body in working order. Pretty soon, though, I am afraid that unless some kind of miracle happens the second reason/excuse will become irrelevant anyway, because if my soul is rotting away here, why not just go sell it somewhere before it gets too ripe and stinky?
Wow, this entry sure turned negative quickly. Probably a bit cheesy too, since this crap is what 80% of everyone my age is thinking. I just really want to be one of the few who does something about it. I guess that was all just to say that rocking out on saturday was a pretty big step in the direction i want to be going, even if right now it at least feels like I was taking that step inside a train car heading the other way.
Oh i just wanted to add I just looked at Lily's page and she updated again- everyone should see her posts because it's some of the most exquisitely fucked up stuff I have seen. Sure, it may get old to some people after a while because it's sort of her schtick, but the thing is, even if it is all melodrama, it's also extremely clever- it reminds me of Tennessee Williams.
I face the same delema with moving out of this cumbucket town. Good friends and my drum group. Oh well some day maybe.