About Me
Life's not a paragraph
And Death i think is no parenthesis
I know I'll never see Heaven or Home
BLOGS
Conversations with a Wizard
I should first be clear on the word wizards, wizards are what a friend of mine calls the crazy homeless people. The idea is that their brain is so full of magic and then faced with the knowledge of an alternate dimension they no longer know which plain they exist on. This causes what we see as babbling and conversations with invisible people.
This wizard was a new wizard, not yet babbling.
I sat on the steps of a large trying to look Gothic cathedral in Sacramento smoking a coffin nail and waiting for a friend to meet me for dinner. It was then that a wizard spotted me, wizards are drawn to tobacco smoke for it is a weakness of theirs and this is why in most old films and books they are seen smoking pipes.
Wizard: Do you have any change?
Me: Uh yea I think I have a nickel.
I produce an nickel and two pennies and offer them to the wizard.
It is here that the wizard puts the change in his mouth. I assume either for safe keeping or performing some magic spell. He opens a large book and begins reading silently, the book is much to large to be a bible. He stands for a moment next to me leaning on the gaurd rail reading and shuffling the change around in his mouth. Turning the page he slowly looked up at me over what I assume can only be a book of magic.
Wizard: Can I bum a smoke?
Me: Of course (it is unwise to anger wizards)
He took the smoke and reached deep into the front of his pants for an uncomfortable amount of time finally producing a lighter. Where he kept it that it took so long to find I would rather not know. I would like to assume he had a bag of holding hidden and that it was not in fact up his ass
Wizard: Ah, American Spirits. You like smoking these?
Me: I do, I figure they are worth the extra money. I get them when I can afford them
Wizard: Yea they’re really smooth. You know what else is really smooth?
Me: What’s that?
Wizard: Freebasing pure cocaine. If you like American Spirits you’ll...
I should first be clear on the word wizards, wizards are what a friend of mine calls the crazy homeless people. The idea is that their brain is so full of magic and then faced with the knowledge of an alternate dimension they no longer know which plain they exist on. This causes what we see as babbling and conversations with invisible people.
This wizard was a new wizard, not yet babbling.
I sat on the steps of a large trying to look Gothic cathedral in Sacramento smoking a coffin nail and waiting for a friend to meet me for dinner. It was then that a wizard spotted me, wizards are drawn to tobacco smoke for it is a weakness of theirs and this is why in most old films and books they are seen smoking pipes.
Wizard: Do you have any change?
Me: Uh yea I think I have a nickel.
I produce an nickel and two pennies and offer them to the wizard.
It is here that the wizard puts the change in his mouth. I assume either for safe keeping or performing some magic spell. He opens a large book and begins reading silently, the book is much to large to be a bible. He stands for a moment next to me leaning on the gaurd rail reading and shuffling the change around in his mouth. Turning the page he slowly looked up at me over what I assume can only be a book of magic.
Wizard: Can I bum a smoke?
Me: Of course (it is unwise to anger wizards)
He took the smoke and reached deep into the front of his pants for an uncomfortable amount of time finally producing a lighter. Where he kept it that it took so long to find I would rather not know. I would like to assume he had a bag of holding hidden and that it was not in fact up his ass
Wizard: Ah, American Spirits. You like smoking these?
Me: I do, I figure they are worth the extra money. I get them when I can afford them
Wizard: Yea they’re really smooth. You know what else is really smooth?
Me: What’s that?
Wizard: Freebasing pure cocaine. If you like American Spirits you’ll...
MAY 2013
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dearambellina