wantingseed

hope is the most bullshit of ideas.

how is it we really think that wishing for something might possibly make it so?

fuck the notion that we do anything outside of our own intention to make reality occur.

i don't give a fuck whom you vote for.

take the stupid sticker off.

think about something other than the stupid sound points the media sells us....
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spring cleaning
hours of organizing
dusting
rewiring
remodeling

2 becks non-alcoholic
2 stoli press (made with ginger ale. woot!)
4 gruet blanc de noir

the place looks awesome
fuck the cable company

i feel somewhat lost in between

the month of march flew by...

a birthday party

3 Maker's Mark and Coke
1 Stella Artois pint
2 Jameson shots

I don't even know how old they are.

redifinition requires a long period where the self seems foreign.

new city

3 glasses Gruet Blanc de Noir
4 PBR
2 Stoli Press
3 Hangar One Rocks w/ 2 olives
4 hits organic hash
2 liters water

.com

it's been a rough week. my girlfriend decided we should no longer be in a relationship after 8.5 years. i have been going up and down but today was the first day that i actually felt ok about it. i think that once time sets in i will recognize this as the great opportunity that it is. i have decided to be nomadic for the...
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Banner day for thorn01. We signed two placement contracts for tracks under our catalogue. It looks like we will be able to afford to really go after our next couple releases! All of us are really excited for this. It's huge for us!

writing every day is harder than i thought. it has been a long time since i have been free to really create and follow ideas through to fruition. i forgot just how difficult it can be and how much my inner critic sucks. i know it is a matter of working through it though. i can't let myself get lazy or discouraged. i have an...
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7 or 8 months ago i was having a lot of issues with my job. i had spent the last 6 years working in an industry i never thought i would enter. the money was good, but it felt utterly unfulfilling and uninteresting. i had given some thought to bartending again but needed something to supplement that creatively. my girlfriend reads a lot of blogs...
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music is killing me

nothing sounds good anymore. it all feels so stifling. it seems i don't even have the energy to explore anything new. the thing that sucks is everything sounds like something that has already been done. it gets very tiresome to constantly hear whomever a band's influences are through their music.

writing has been bland too. anything i write has been all...
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the chase

seeking clarity i turn towards the darkness. in it i feel safe. everything is invisible, enveloped by the blackness. unsure of what i'm running from, confused by what i see. its easier here.

i don't know what i seek. is it the lost child? the days of wonder when everything was new. when light was all i sought. is it clarity of mind?...
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i guess i'm supposed to be sad and disconnected. aloof. everything is so blase. only the most subtle of ironies are to be appreciated. it has all been done before and spins like a scratched record. flip it over and try the other side for something less old. its not easy to feel. stronger minds than mine have felt and given it a failing grade....
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The pathetic sparkle of incandescent light left swimming black worms
across their eyes.
Seeing nothing bred apathy for lost translations and misgiving angelloi. Whatever tragic misnomer fell through their hands cut and mangled minute sense of smell.
The worms dung deep and festered in their minds forever searing the same tragic pattern.
Blood vessels burst and coagulated into darkness.
You know them by passionless halitosis...
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