Love for you is masturbation.
For me, its self-mutilation.
That's been my away message for a day or so now. I kind of like it, at least to the extent that reading it is being more truthful to myself and my past than I generally choose to be. Its just been my general belief that the only times I've found happiness in love have either been while being self destructive, or destructive to the one who I am with.
I know I'm no angel, and I make sure to remind myself of it daily.
Perhaps that's why I've been questioning a lot lately.
The end of the quarter is coming up, and I'm pretty glad for it. It means the end of stats, and the start of an easier schedule. Somehow, I'm certain my roommate will try and ruin that. I just...I can feel it. Mainly its because he's just a person who has no concern for the welfare or happiness of others. (Case in point: He leaves the tv on when I'm asleep, or tries to make our neighbor's lives hell by messing with the thermostat/interfering in situations where he has no place.) He also tries to control people, which, if he was telling the truth (I doubt very much so), I would find it hard to believe that anyone could date him with that personality (not to mention his lack of good looks.)
An actual exchange between us:
Me: So, I'm going to go get my nails painted so I can try and look more 'gay' for my presentation (see below)
Him: Try?
Me: Wow, that's pretty offensive...wait, you don't even know my sexuality.
Him: And I don't care
Me: Again, offensive.
Him: If you have a problem, take it up with reslife....(He went on to rant about reslife.)
By the way, me actually trying to look like this was part of an experiment that I was casually conducting in conjunction with my presentation (its about threatening male presence.). No offense is meant by it whatsoever.
So, about the presentation: I did shonen-ai and yaoi and the culture associated with them (women's culture and such. Pretty interesting stuff.) Interestingly enough, I was the only person to do a presentation on homosexuality/alternative sexualities. I found that fairly interesting. I hope the paper turns out like the presentation.
I'll take some pictures of how I looked today, and put them up eventually.
I have to be thankful for the wonderful neighbors I've had this quarter. I'd be a lot worse off without them, and I love them like family.
I've kept smoking, which I know is bad, but...the passive self-destructiveness of it is too pleasing to my urges. I'll probably stop soon, just for money reasons.
umm...Zolof the rock and roll destroyer, one of my favorite bands, is coming to town on the 17th, so I'll probably see them.
My printer kind of died on me, and it makes me mad.
finally, I picked up a new keyboard, and I've linked it here.
I got it for 20 bucks less than the list.
Thanks for putting up with my randomness.
For me, its self-mutilation.
That's been my away message for a day or so now. I kind of like it, at least to the extent that reading it is being more truthful to myself and my past than I generally choose to be. Its just been my general belief that the only times I've found happiness in love have either been while being self destructive, or destructive to the one who I am with.
I know I'm no angel, and I make sure to remind myself of it daily.
Perhaps that's why I've been questioning a lot lately.
The end of the quarter is coming up, and I'm pretty glad for it. It means the end of stats, and the start of an easier schedule. Somehow, I'm certain my roommate will try and ruin that. I just...I can feel it. Mainly its because he's just a person who has no concern for the welfare or happiness of others. (Case in point: He leaves the tv on when I'm asleep, or tries to make our neighbor's lives hell by messing with the thermostat/interfering in situations where he has no place.) He also tries to control people, which, if he was telling the truth (I doubt very much so), I would find it hard to believe that anyone could date him with that personality (not to mention his lack of good looks.)
An actual exchange between us:
Me: So, I'm going to go get my nails painted so I can try and look more 'gay' for my presentation (see below)
Him: Try?
Me: Wow, that's pretty offensive...wait, you don't even know my sexuality.
Him: And I don't care
Me: Again, offensive.
Him: If you have a problem, take it up with reslife....(He went on to rant about reslife.)
By the way, me actually trying to look like this was part of an experiment that I was casually conducting in conjunction with my presentation (its about threatening male presence.). No offense is meant by it whatsoever.
So, about the presentation: I did shonen-ai and yaoi and the culture associated with them (women's culture and such. Pretty interesting stuff.) Interestingly enough, I was the only person to do a presentation on homosexuality/alternative sexualities. I found that fairly interesting. I hope the paper turns out like the presentation.
I'll take some pictures of how I looked today, and put them up eventually.
I have to be thankful for the wonderful neighbors I've had this quarter. I'd be a lot worse off without them, and I love them like family.
I've kept smoking, which I know is bad, but...the passive self-destructiveness of it is too pleasing to my urges. I'll probably stop soon, just for money reasons.
umm...Zolof the rock and roll destroyer, one of my favorite bands, is coming to town on the 17th, so I'll probably see them.
My printer kind of died on me, and it makes me mad.
finally, I picked up a new keyboard, and I've linked it here.
I got it for 20 bucks less than the list.
Thanks for putting up with my randomness.