So I woke up this morning around 2am (I haven’t been sleeping all that well thanks to nagging self-doubt and the wonderful insurance company deciding that three pain pills a day was too many, they would rather me take two but double the strength on one of them {this is despite my original doctor and my 4 page appeal begging them to not change what I had been stable on for eight years but anyways). While I was making a ‘strawberry portart’ (apparently we were out of cinnamon), I turned on my phone and it came up to one of my favorite websites. SuicideGirls.com, which I have been a member since 2003. When it gets brought up in conversation (and working in tech, especially information security things like this get brought up almost as looking up the urban dictionary meaning for an innocuous word because it’s usually amazing). I am going to separate <—‘hah, spelled it right the first time’ (the word plagues me) out the various questions/comments I get and my answers to them. I am not sure why other than I just took another dose of xanax to sleep and it hasn’t kicked in over the pain yet.
- Why would you waste time looking at girls/woman that clearly aren’t cut out for nude modeling? This invariable leads to comments directed towards the girls most people consider ‘plus size', as in ‘they are too fat to be taking their clothes off'. Those types of comments irritate the shit out of me
- * They usually come from men and it’s pretty stupid to think that someone else’s sexuality or their self confidence comes extremely from some shit head judging them.
- * It also assumes, that the viewer in this case is the only source of female sexuality, as if they had to line up in front of them and he is supposed to ‘knight them with his dick’ passing his judgement on ‘their’ sexuality.
I have gotten into this argument more than once (I am not one to shy away from my opinion and my greatest success was when my sone told me about a girl he was interested in but she was ‘super-thin’ (his words not mine) and I asked him if he cared about her and if he thought a little bit of weight was enough of a reason to waste what may be the greatest opportunity of his life? He decided it wasn’t and they have been together for around a year. When we were having this talk I reminded him that at his age (18) I was 6’5” and weighed 140, people thought I was sick (and gay but that’s a whole another story) and his mother was 20 and wasn’t a waif (though she did/does have giant boobs, which I love). Every single person from both of our families told us we shouldn’t get married, she wasn’t good enough for me or vis’versa, I knew nothing about her and she could be after my money (I had just spent my college money on recovering in the hospital from meningitis and worked at millers outpost and blockbuster). It got to the point that some of my family was incredibly rude to her saying all these things basically to her face without admitting she was sitting right there. That was 21 one years ago, we both have changed physically and we both enjoy looking at SG because the girls are real, complete with stretch marks, uneven boobs and bellies. It helps remind us (and to some extent our son when he was older) that real woman come in all shapes and sizes and while some of those my be great to look at it really comes down to how they make you feel as a person and how you make them feel. We are all human and all crave some form of companionship that leaves us a little less alone than we were the day before. While I can’t say I have a huge following of friends on the site that I talk to on a daily basis (I am extremely shy and tend to respond only when asked something) it makes me feel better to belong to a community full of people that are of all shapes and sizes, from all sorts of backgrounds and experience.
Hopefully this rambling makes some sort of sense, since I am still technically asleep (took more xanax before I started it and doubt I will remember it tomorrow).