trippydea

What a miserable fucking night. John is mad at me, and for what? Who the fuck knows? He certainly won't tell me. He gives me little stupid clips and expects me to figure it out. At dinner he barely spoke to me, asked me one stupid fucking question and then when back to ignoring me while chatting it up with everyone else. Now I'm sitting...
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warning: meaningless rambling ahead


It's funny how sometimes you accomodate other people's ideas of you unintentionally. Like if they believe certain things about you without delving deeper and they keep that particular attitude, you may actually begin to behave in the manner they 'expect' you to.

I was told tonight by a good friend that I can't be un-emotional, it's just not right, essentially. I...
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Yeah this is dumb. I met this guy and he seems -normal-, I know, a miracle hey? Anyway he's nice and we've been goofing off for the last couple of days and we went out to the bar tonight, had a couple drinks with a bunch of friends, awesome time. He bought me a drink and then went off to talk to some other people...
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I fucking hate alcoholism. What a useless fucking disease. Explain to me why good people have to be afflicted with a disease that, by its nature, its victims have an impossible time admitting that they have a problem and need to deal with it effectively.

My older brother, whom I love with every fiber of my being, is an alcohlic. My ex-boyfriend of 2 years,...
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I love brothers.

I also love Cairos.

So, tell me this: how do you control and get rid of pure, unadultered rage? I mean when it's literally filling your core with so much negative energy that you could just scream or smash something, how do you deal with it? How do you not scream or smash something? How does one remain a civilized, rational person when they're that angry, especially if it's...
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Thesis work blows. I read for 3 or 4 hours or so a day. I love the material, it's just stressful knowing it has to be comprehensively (and convincingly) assimilated into a 30-50 page paper. Bleh. My eyes are exhausted from computer screens and reading small script on big white pages. I've never needed glasses before but I think I do now.

Dad's been calling....
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I misses the kisses of Cairo. Bitch.

Hanyway.

Dad called mom today and was a jackass. He really, truly cannot comprehend that he acts like a dickface. He really thinks it's everyone else's fault. I hate him. When he calls I instantly get nauseous and tense between the shoulders. If I answer the phone, he hangs up on me. Real mature for a 55 year...
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My little brother is the coolest human being alive. Just when your idiot dad calls you 'porkchop' and tells you basically what a lowlife you are, little brothers swoop in to save the day and they don't even know it...

be ex****: im so proud of you
be ex****: i love when i tell people about you and it's always good things
be ex****: like...
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So it gets better. Dad, who will now be referred to as John, called Mom this morning at work and she told him he's not welcome near this house anymore. The only thing he was allowed to do was to get his shit out of the garage. Fine, dandy. I went Christmas shopping, came home around 3, and his truck was in the driveway so...
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So! My dad came over last night, drunk and enraged to cuss at my mom about what a piece of crap I am. They were never married and didn't like each other (and by not like, I mean hate, at least on my mom's end) but while I was in Africa they started hanging out again and decided they liked one another, thus rekindling some...
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