I just finished my first book. It took a year to write.
It consists of 28 pages of intro, a poem to my love, 60 handwritten love letters, some silly, lots mushy and romantic, some embarrassing self pity, and many life and spiritual observations about my life, my loves, and this scary conservative Oklahoma town. There's also 15 love letters my girl wrote me, and she is illustrating the book. The simple story is how does a reformed drug addict 9 years older than the love of his life's father, end up falling so deeply and passionately in love with a polyamorous, no concept of boundaries, very promiscuous girl who by her definition has an oral fixation for random males refuse to accept the girl doesn't love him and won't let her go and holds the star crossed romance together writing passionate love letters.
I fell in love with Sweet Pea 2+ years ago, and my at one time refused love has been replaced with us moving to a hip midwest town and wanting to be together, seeking physical, mental, and spiritual rebirth from DMT, and seeing if maybe we will stay together.
Her's another twist. My love and I have never had sex, because she came on to me our first week and I loved her so much I wanted to take time and declined the offer. So we are platonic lovers. She actually has a girlfriend, and her polyamory is played out with her (she is a 24 year old very smart girl) netting usually 19 to 20 year old emo boys, grabbing their attention with amazing sweetness played out with her snuggling them, leaning her head on their shoulder etc, then she tends to make the game sad and dangerous because either she will give the boys a blow job or fuck them, from 1 to 3 times, and usally destroy their nieve hearts in 2 weeks to 3 months by harshly telling them she will not sleep with them any more, and wants to split up. It's very safe to say she cannot love anyone she has sex with, and her sexual exploits don't make sense because she just gets boys off...
I just finished my first book. It took a year to write.
It consists of 28 pages of intro, a poem to my love, 60 handwritten love letters, some silly, lots mushy and romantic, some embarrassing self pity, and many life and spiritual observations about my life, my loves, and this scary conservative Oklahoma town. There's also 15 love letters my girl wrote me, and she is illustrating the book. The simple story is how does a reformed drug addict 9 years older than the love of his life's father, end up falling so deeply and passionately in love with a polyamorous, no concept of boundaries, very promiscuous girl who by her definition has an oral fixation for random males refuse to accept the girl doesn't love him and won't let her go and holds the star crossed romance together writing passionate love letters.
I fell in love with Sweet Pea 2+ years ago, and my at one time refused love has been replaced with us moving to a hip midwest town and wanting to be together, seeking physical, mental, and spiritual rebirth from DMT, and seeing if maybe we will stay together.
Her's another twist. My love and I have never had sex, because she came on to me our first week and I loved her so much I wanted to take time and declined the offer. So we are platonic lovers. She actually has a girlfriend, and her polyamory is played out with her (she is a 24 year old very smart girl) netting usually 19 to 20 year old emo boys, grabbing their attention with amazing sweetness played out with her snuggling them, leaning her head on their shoulder etc, then she tends to make the game sad and dangerous because either she will give the boys a blow job or fuck them, from 1 to 3 times, and usally destroy their nieve hearts in 2 weeks to 3 months by harshly telling them she will not sleep with them any more, and wants to split up. It's very safe to say she cannot love anyone she has sex with, and her sexual exploits don't make sense because she just gets boys off and doesn't appear to like sex. She is deeply in love with her girlfriend, but the girlfriend says they simply have no sex life.
So me, the platonic lover who has never had sex with the girl, a best friend of sorts, seems to be the only person who has attained an albeit strange and sadly unfullfilling love with her.
So we are moving out of Oklahoma to a nice victorian little hippy town, we're going to build greenhouses and help people with gardening for money, go green straightedge only smoking herb and taking psychedelics 2 to 3 times a year as spiritual conduits, focus on me writing, playing music, she playing music, and seeking earnestly spiritual enlightenment and truth. Our ultimate goal is to create a sustainable living hippy community on 20 acres.
To attenuate the oddness she invited two 19 year old boys to move with us to our community house. She told me the by my estimation baby bottle obsession she has with blow jobs, random sex, constant making out with strangers, she vowed to cut the crap and be true to her beautiful female lover. Since I am way beyond indiscriminate sex, and don't want to have sex with another girl because I love my girl and my heart would be torn making love to anyone but her, thus aside from sex no other romantic liasons, I could feel better about my celibacy if she was faithful. But when the boys stayed at my house a couple days, with her as well, I realized later I think I caught her, ha ha! blowing the most emo of the two boys, and another gilted male lover of hers said she fucked the other guy on a current trip to their home town. If she did that those boys, me, and her really couldn't be harmonius in this poser community house with more drama than MacBeth, and spirtual enlightenment is a little hard to attain when you're dishonest and can't break the cycle of earthly desires.
Confused yet? Think I'm wacky. And she is. Cool. Read my fucking hopefully soon to be published book, "Chasing an Illusion: a story of passion written in love letters."
Last note for you. I did not want to move to the hippy town, and saw her move there as our final goodbye of our I guess sad romance, and I was going to move to my mecca Portland Oregon! I'm a Seattlelite, and all my friends moved to Portland. In Norman Oklahoma where I live, girls, many girls thus not an overstatement, will not let a guy go down on them. My vital personal foreplay. More girls are straight than bi as I was used to in Seattle. And an odd fairly large number of girls here prefer those young preejaculator 19 year old often mentally and spiritually lost in a sea of weak beer boys, where as when I lived in Seattle I was happy because most of the girls I ran into liked older men who actually can assist with generating an orgasm, and the girls were bi. As a man you better know how to orally satisfy a woman because you are competing against their girlfriends who certainly know female plumbing.
So my love told me on a spiritual quest to Hawaii she spent the night in a Buddha traditional meditation shrine the Banyan tree, and god told her to contact me and make sure I don't leave her by moving to Portland to write, play music, and fucking have sex and maybe a little more grounded romance, and go with her to the hippy town. I'm hoping she blew the one cat and fucked the other, so I can be a man and say the word I never wanted to say to her, "Good bye." Aww. My heart is broken. I'm so in love with my perhaps confused little hippy girl, I thus far haven't minded giving up my sexual and basic physical desires to just gaze into my girls crystal little siamese eyes, stroke her hair, and promise my unconditional love without expectations.
Book intro attached. Check it. Love and Masturbation, Trippy Chris
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It consists of 28 pages of intro, a poem to my love, 60 handwritten love letters, some silly, lots mushy and romantic, some embarrassing self pity, and many life and spiritual observations about my life, my loves, and this scary conservative Oklahoma town. There's also 15 love letters my girl wrote me, and she is illustrating the book. The simple story is how does a reformed drug addict 9 years older than the love of his life's father, end up falling so deeply and passionately in love with a polyamorous, no concept of boundaries, very promiscuous girl who by her definition has an oral fixation for random males refuse to accept the girl doesn't love him and won't let her go and holds the star crossed romance together writing passionate love letters.
I fell in love with Sweet Pea 2+ years ago, and my at one time refused love has been replaced with us moving to a hip midwest town and wanting to be together, seeking physical, mental, and spiritual rebirth from DMT, and seeing if maybe we will stay together.
Her's another twist. My love and I have never had sex, because she came on to me our first week and I loved her so much I wanted to take time and declined the offer. So we are platonic lovers. She actually has a girlfriend, and her polyamory is played out with her (she is a 24 year old very smart girl) netting usually 19 to 20 year old emo boys, grabbing their attention with amazing sweetness played out with her snuggling them, leaning her head on their shoulder etc, then she tends to make the game sad and dangerous because either she will give the boys a blow job or fuck them, from 1 to 3 times, and usally destroy their nieve hearts in 2 weeks to 3 months by harshly telling them she will not sleep with them any more, and wants to split up. It's very safe to say she cannot love anyone she has sex with, and her sexual exploits don't make sense because she just gets boys off...