Howdy folks
What a awesome fucking weekend. I had posted my friday and sat on sats journal, but haven't been back since then...
Sunday was totally awesome, and absolutely nothing incredibly special happened. I went to work, came home had dinner with my girl, talked, played guitar for about half an hour, watched carnivale and a movie, sleep. I woke up monday morning completely refreshed and ready to give life a big kick in the ass.
I have taken the next step in truly becomeing a lifer. I dropped two of my classes..American Art since 1865 and Lithography. No big deal because I am in no hurry to graduate, because I really don't see the point, and its not like I failed them. Everyone else seems to think I ruined my life or something....
I am in my fourth year at Old Dominion University and it has recently become bothersome. Its not the school, it is me. I'm not blaming anyone, it is just that I feel at the current time I can learn more than life than I can from school. College has really helped me to understand myself more and helped me to grow as a person, and I don't need it anymore right now. That is why I dropped those two classes. I kept the two that are relevant to, or taken from, life. Figure/anatomy, studying the body duh, and painting. Painting isn't really super life oriented but it is painting from still life, and it is cool to work with color and look at things in a different light. Not to mention that my painting skills could totally use some help haha.
The bad thing with dropping the two classes is....first fact: I am poor. I have been going to school on grants. They pay as long as I meet certain requirements. Requirements I have had no problem fulfilling in the past, but now....well lets just say one of the requirements is taking at least 12 credit hours, and after my recent drop, I am down to 6. So maybe they will give me some money for next semester, or maybe they won't.
Anyways, like said, school is bothersome. Maybe I need a break, maybe not. I feel, and this might sound weird, like I have been enlightened or something, and I just don't feel comfortable around those people, or I don't really connect with them right now. Enlightened is a strong word but thats how I feel. Like I woke up one day and I could just see things differently. I guess it has been going on for awhile but I finally just came to this blinding realization of self.
So dropping the classes may have stopped my financial aid in the future, which definately is a determining force in my future, but like I have said in previous journals, we are the driving force in our lives. I will make it happen, whatever 'it" is.
To be honest, I am not really sure if I shot myself in the foot, or shot the chain off of my leg...only life will tell, and I will be there to smile and welcome it no matter what the situation. Life gives you lemons, you throw those lemons back in life's face and say,
"Hey, fuck you life. You piece of shit. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do. I will do whatever it takes for me and my loved ones to be happy and you aren't going to do anything about it except for make me some fucking lemonaide out of your shitty lemons and shut the fuck up!"
Life is now my bitch, and I am at the mercy of God. I am so happy
One of the best things is that my girl, eventhough she may not completely understand (which I totally don't either), supports me. That is probalby one of the strongest loves I think someone can feel. To have someone just believe in you so much that they trust you to go against the grain and do what it takes. I love that woman.
Now with arms wide open, and my love by my side, I hunt for my path...
Keep on rockin'
-J
"Make me feel serenity when all is revealed
So easy to look back in life and question
but I must seek to find the strength to push forward
I want to see what's so beautiful inside
as we drink of life eternal
Absolve me through your suffering
Teach me to inscribe these words on my heart
Cover me with the shadow of your hand
I will not loose myself in everything that tears me down
because you stand by me
No one to blame for my transgressions
No one to blame but myself."
What a awesome fucking weekend. I had posted my friday and sat on sats journal, but haven't been back since then...
Sunday was totally awesome, and absolutely nothing incredibly special happened. I went to work, came home had dinner with my girl, talked, played guitar for about half an hour, watched carnivale and a movie, sleep. I woke up monday morning completely refreshed and ready to give life a big kick in the ass.
I have taken the next step in truly becomeing a lifer. I dropped two of my classes..American Art since 1865 and Lithography. No big deal because I am in no hurry to graduate, because I really don't see the point, and its not like I failed them. Everyone else seems to think I ruined my life or something....
I am in my fourth year at Old Dominion University and it has recently become bothersome. Its not the school, it is me. I'm not blaming anyone, it is just that I feel at the current time I can learn more than life than I can from school. College has really helped me to understand myself more and helped me to grow as a person, and I don't need it anymore right now. That is why I dropped those two classes. I kept the two that are relevant to, or taken from, life. Figure/anatomy, studying the body duh, and painting. Painting isn't really super life oriented but it is painting from still life, and it is cool to work with color and look at things in a different light. Not to mention that my painting skills could totally use some help haha.
The bad thing with dropping the two classes is....first fact: I am poor. I have been going to school on grants. They pay as long as I meet certain requirements. Requirements I have had no problem fulfilling in the past, but now....well lets just say one of the requirements is taking at least 12 credit hours, and after my recent drop, I am down to 6. So maybe they will give me some money for next semester, or maybe they won't.
Anyways, like said, school is bothersome. Maybe I need a break, maybe not. I feel, and this might sound weird, like I have been enlightened or something, and I just don't feel comfortable around those people, or I don't really connect with them right now. Enlightened is a strong word but thats how I feel. Like I woke up one day and I could just see things differently. I guess it has been going on for awhile but I finally just came to this blinding realization of self.
So dropping the classes may have stopped my financial aid in the future, which definately is a determining force in my future, but like I have said in previous journals, we are the driving force in our lives. I will make it happen, whatever 'it" is.
To be honest, I am not really sure if I shot myself in the foot, or shot the chain off of my leg...only life will tell, and I will be there to smile and welcome it no matter what the situation. Life gives you lemons, you throw those lemons back in life's face and say,
"Hey, fuck you life. You piece of shit. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do. I will do whatever it takes for me and my loved ones to be happy and you aren't going to do anything about it except for make me some fucking lemonaide out of your shitty lemons and shut the fuck up!"
Life is now my bitch, and I am at the mercy of God. I am so happy
One of the best things is that my girl, eventhough she may not completely understand (which I totally don't either), supports me. That is probalby one of the strongest loves I think someone can feel. To have someone just believe in you so much that they trust you to go against the grain and do what it takes. I love that woman.
Now with arms wide open, and my love by my side, I hunt for my path...
Keep on rockin'
-J
"Make me feel serenity when all is revealed
So easy to look back in life and question
but I must seek to find the strength to push forward
I want to see what's so beautiful inside
as we drink of life eternal
Absolve me through your suffering
Teach me to inscribe these words on my heart
Cover me with the shadow of your hand
I will not loose myself in everything that tears me down
because you stand by me
No one to blame for my transgressions
No one to blame but myself."
i like reading your rants, they provide me with the entertainment that every person needs to start their day.
miss you
-tessina