Thursday Jan 14, 2010

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I.

Am.

The.

Luckiest.

Man.

Alive.

Started work today at the best job I've ever had, 4 months after meeting the most awesome woman ever.

What am I going to owe the devil after this?

Saturday Jul 04, 2009

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4th of July and a long walk through the neighborhood. Nothing to make you realize how alone you are like seeing the rest of the world gathering with their friends and family for barbecues and beer. The people I care about are all having their own good times with their own friends and families, none of which include me. And I understand that the people...
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niobe:
I know that feeling. My neighbors are all having a good time and I am sitting here in the dark.

*hugs*

Sunday Mar 29, 2009

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Welcome to the Vortex:

www.myspace.com/totalperspectivevortex

Wednesday Mar 18, 2009

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Information Overload.

The world is big. Have you ever noticed that? I mean really, really huge. Not just the world, but the number of people in it. And so many of these people are writing, making music, making art, posting blogs (like this) . . . it gets a little overwhelming. How do you cut through all the millions and millions of voices in the...
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Sunday Sep 21, 2008

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Hi there, kids.

Let's get right down to it, today. Ever wonder what, really, is the difference between the Communists and the Capitalists? Other than each thinking the other is evil, of course.

I'm starting to think: very little. Communists want to redistribute wealth throughout the society of which every citizen is a member. Capitalists want to redistribute wealth to everyone who has already bought...
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Thursday Feb 28, 2008

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Terran's Blog! Back by popular demand! wink

So, I had an interesting night. Had one of those "tipsy" conversations with a good friend about relationships and polyamory and on and on and on. It's very sad to hear about when people you care about who have been together for a long time are having problems, but it highlights some of the difficulties that result from the...
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Sunday Feb 17, 2008

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All right, that's it. I'm done fucking around. Come here, life, I'm gonna make you my bitch.

Rock and roll, motherfuckers!

'Nuff said.
__rosemary__:
LOL, you go get her!
__rosemary__:
Write something new, i'm in a bad mood and I like to hear your thoughts smile

Sunday Jan 27, 2008

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Note to self:

Refrain from excessive alcohol consumption in the presence of co-workers. That's just trouble waiting to happen.

Ugh.

Anyway, though, I feel better than I have been. Finally got some sleep. Realized I'm not quite as Vulcan as I thought I was . . . stupid illogical emotions can still get the best of me now and then, leaving me restless and anxious...
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Sunday Jan 20, 2008

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Jesus, I feel like shit.

Somebody I care a lot about hurt me in a way I haven't been hurt in a while.

Problem is that I responded by telling her I didn't want to see her anymore. It felt like the right thing to do before I walked in to talk to her, to protect myself and to salvage what little is left of...
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__rosemary__:
I'm sure you could maintain a healthy relationship with someone, maybe just not her. You seem like a cool, insightful, deep, sensitive, sweet guy to me. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Sunday Jan 13, 2008

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13 days into 2008, and every one of them I've been sick, working, or both. Is it 2009 yet?

On to other things . . .

I wonder how much time and energy I spend with my brain just trying to hold off anxiety. I've found a lot of things . . . convoluted cognitions and mental manipulations . . . meditative meanderings that seem...
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Sunday Dec 30, 2007

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Think on these words: "I can't live without you."

Hmm. I just don't see the romance in it anymore.

Because that's the romantic ideal in our society, isn't it? A love so strong that one person just couldn't possibly bear to exist without the other? The idea that there's just this intense need for the other person.

How much greater is desire, and choice, than...
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__rosemary__:
I know exactly what you mean. I had grown to need my husband over the years. Depend on him being happy in order for me to be happy. And when he mentioned divorce in a serious argument one day... I seriously considered suicide. I thought I would be broken emotionaly without him.
But i talked to my friend about it and he pointed out that needing him is really not healthy. I thought a lot about all he said that day and I relized.. needing him makes me weak. It is a charactor flaw that I no longer wish to have. So now I don't do it anymore. I can accept that he's not always going to be happy, and I'm ok with that. I can still feel as intense about him without being dependant on him. We had another similar argument a month later and I felt so proud of the way I handeled myself. I feel like a stronger person now. We talked a lot, I told him how I really felt, and I didn't fall apart. One person should not be capable of distroying your whole world like that. I feel better. And we haven't arguged for a while, things are flowing a bit smoother.
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