I'm going nowhere. Today to exemplify my listlessness I came across a few "words of wisdom" today and one in particular struck a cord. It went something like this: "It is a moral imperative to take a sucker for all that he is worth." and it occurred to me that I was the sucker. I've landed a job that seems respectable and is on my level with technical knowledge. My wife is barely my friend and that only counts the good times. I cant keep a dime of what I've earned. I'm only living for the moments where I get to wrap my arms around my boys whom I have all intentions to give all of myself... but I'm loosing myself, I cant give them that. Where I am has me truly pinned and committed to a life of survival apart from dreams. Dreams of seeing the world. Dreams of having no financial institutions threatening me to pay them back in blood. Dreams of inspiring people.Dreams of being in love and in lust with someone that truly excites me and is burrowed into my very being and not being alone in the feeling. I've got my boys but I want to give them the free life I've dreamed. But... who is the moral character who has taken this sucker that is apparently me. How do I get me back.

I'm going nowhere. Today to exemplify my listlessness I came across a few "words of wisdom" today and one in particular struck a cord. It went something like this: "It is a moral imperative to take a sucker for all that he is worth." and it occurred to me that I was the sucker. I've landed a job that seems respectable and is on my level with technical knowledge. My wife is barely my friend and that only counts the good times. I cant keep a dime of what I've earned. I'm only living for the moments where I get to wrap my arms around my boys whom I have all intentions to give all of myself... but I'm loosing myself, I cant give them that. Where I am has me truly pinned and committed to a life of survival apart from dreams. Dreams of seeing the world. Dreams of having no financial institutions threatening me to pay them back in blood. Dreams of inspiring people.Dreams of being in love and in lust with someone that truly excites me and is burrowed into my very being and not being alone in the feeling. I've got my boys but I want to give them the free life I've dreamed. But... who is the moral character who has taken this sucker that is apparently me. How do I get me back.