My son has open heart surgery a week from tomorrow. He's almost 8. I feel kind of numb-ish. I haven't really been scared or sad yet since I found out in October that he a congenital heart defect. And I feel like my lack of emotion makes me a bad mom. Shouldn't I be freaking out? Every once in a while tears come to my eyes. Like when I think of him in the CICU or him being considered "unstable". I don't know. We'll see how it goes when we get there. I'm sure once the time comes I wil do my fair share of crying. Just not in front of him. He is scared enough for the both of us. I wish he didn't have to go through this. I explained to him that if I could choose, I would choose not to ever have to do it, but it's not up to me. Just the thought of him going through all the pain during recovery ......UGH....

My son has open heart surgery a week from tomorrow. He's almost 8. I feel kind of numb-ish. I haven't really been scared or sad yet since I found out in October that he a congenital heart defect. And I feel like my lack of emotion makes me a bad mom. Shouldn't I be freaking out? Every once in a while tears come to my eyes. Like when I think of him in the CICU or him being considered "unstable". I don't know. We'll see how it goes when we get there. I'm sure once the time comes I wil do my fair share of crying. Just not in front of him. He is scared enough for the both of us. I wish he didn't have to go through this. I explained to him that if I could choose, I would choose not to ever have to do it, but it's not up to me. Just the thought of him going through all the pain during recovery ......UGH....