dont really know who reads blogs but i have to get a bit off my chest

sometimes i feel as if i am the last
last of all my friends and family to get married still hasn't happened for me
last to know she was leaving me for someone else
last to know she was already sleeping with someone weeks before she left
last to get an invitation
be it family gatherings parties with friends weddings

the one that bothered me the most is i was the last to find out that a former girlfriend
had passed more than a year before

i know that i bring it upon myself as far as family goes
but its beginning to put me into a bit of a funk
or maybe a depression
i just don't really want to be around anyone anymore

do they make a pill to cure me of whatever it is that makes me so forgettable?
or perhaps a magical elixir that can give people more respect for feelings?

enough for now
i feel a bit better

i wonder what constitutes an active blog

you ever felt like life was a whirlpool and you were caught just inside it
unable to escape but not quite being sucked in?

also i think i want to get out of kansas city area
thinking of moving to pittsburg

A stray thought was floating past the other day and for some reason i could not shake it.
i see many faces every day and in observing them, I see that each face houses many faces of it's own.
a face for friends or strangers, a face for bosses and a different face for co-workers or employees
a face for your dad and one for a spouse or your child an angry face a happy face and even quite a few faux faces that hide the face that you don't want shown
this is where the stray thought hit me

what is my true face?
the face that has never been seen
or hasn't been seen since my childhood
but more importantly if i were to show my true face {provided it could be found ....somewhere in there... but i have forgotten what it looks like } how would it affect others ? would it bring happiness or peace of mind? would it breed contempt and distrust ? would i be spurned or embraced

how about each of you who may or may not read this,
and from looking at your photos i know that you ladies are surprisingly full of faces


well perhaps having written this i can escape this thought
thanks for your time
all of you

first blog post ever so i was gonna be funny
happy Halloween everyone
was gonna dress up and go out but my favorite waitress stole my funky hair and skirt idea so i decided to dress as the scariest thing ever

how does one dress up like the u.s. government??

or a religious organization?

oh wait i know i can dress like a greedy i know everything who knows whats best for everyone and sticks his nose in the whole planets business and is better than all the other peoples of the world

oh my god a Jesus W. Bush