I remember in college being taught a certain way of debating that followed particular rules of logic and an rational format. Yet the years I've spent debating on internet forums have taught me that this is not the way debates are won. I have here decided to publish my findings on how to win an internet debate.

• Be belligerent -- Why bother using rational arguments and reputable sources when your opponent could just as easily do the same thing? Instead, whatever your arguments are, continue to shout them obnoxiously at your opponent. This will show that you are confident enough in your positions that you don't need to hear the other side.


• Be obtuse -- If you consistently ignore or misinterpret your opponent's point, then they will have to keep explaining it to you, thus wearing them down and taking the fight out of them. Muhammad Ali didn't go into a fight swinging with his best shots. He wore his opponents down until they were too weak to fight.


• Be wordy -- The longer your posts, the less likely your opponent will want to read all of it. Especially if your posts follow the other rules mentioned. Remember: quantity over quality. The more verbal diarrhea you spout, the more it'll stink up your opponent's arguments. If they respond to only part of your post, insist that they address all the other points you brought up, no matter how stupid they are.


• Be a total bastard -- Deride any source your opponent posts as biased and/or unreliable. Defend any source that you use, even if it's some 14-year-old's geocities homepage(or just don't use any sources). Be as condescending as possible, and act angry and indignant if they behave the same way towards you.


• Be a sore winner -- If you follow all these rules, one of two things will happen: Either your opponent will give up and walk away, or get worked up and flame you. If the former event happens, taunt them and insinuate that they are too afraid to continue debating because they're no match for your superior logic. In the case of...

I remember in college being taught a certain way of debating that followed particular rules of logic and an rational format. Yet the years I've spent debating on internet forums have taught me that this is not the way debates are won. I have here decided to publish my findings on how to win an internet debate.

• Be belligerent -- Why bother using rational arguments and reputable sources when your opponent could just as easily do the same thing? Instead, whatever your arguments are, continue to shout them obnoxiously at your opponent. This will show that you are confident enough in your positions that you don't need to hear the other side.


• Be obtuse -- If you consistently ignore or misinterpret your opponent's point, then they will have to keep explaining it to you, thus wearing them down and taking the fight out of them. Muhammad Ali didn't go into a fight swinging with his best shots. He wore his opponents down until they were too weak to fight.


• Be wordy -- The longer your posts, the less likely your opponent will want to read all of it. Especially if your posts follow the other rules mentioned. Remember: quantity over quality. The more verbal diarrhea you spout, the more it'll stink up your opponent's arguments. If they respond to only part of your post, insist that they address all the other points you brought up, no matter how stupid they are.


• Be a total bastard -- Deride any source your opponent posts as biased and/or unreliable. Defend any source that you use, even if it's some 14-year-old's geocities homepage(or just don't use any sources). Be as condescending as possible, and act angry and indignant if they behave the same way towards you.


• Be a sore winner -- If you follow all these rules, one of two things will happen: Either your opponent will give up and walk away, or get worked up and flame you. If the former event happens, taunt them and insinuate that they are too afraid to continue debating because they're no match for your superior logic. In the case of the latter, report it to the admins immediately. What better way to win a debate than getting them in trouble?

Follow these simple rules and no one will want to mess with you. You too can become a Master Debater.