"Jay Hathaway, verbal assassin extroadinaire: law student by day, ass kicking ninja by night. He once fought a grizzly bear in the Canadian mountains, taking the beast by the throat and beating it bloody with his bare hands. The bear kicked his ass of course, but it made him tough as steel, with an insatiable hunger for the souls of the pathetic and weak. Lock your doors and bar the windows - it's no use. Jay's going to sneak into your house in the middle of the night and steal all your wine and cheese, yeah, the good shit too.
Read his articles, and savor every word, for the great Jay Hathaway will surely be savoring your wines and virgins! (Did I forget to mention the virgins? Yeah, he steals those too.)"