"Why the fuck aren't there any testimonials for this guy? Seth is the Keith Richards of the SG community and has a devoted cult following which includes the likes of me, Vince Neil, Andy Kaufman (while he was still alive), Paul Reubens, Brian Grazer, Kimmi, GG Allin (while he was still alive), and Jesus Christ (while he was still alive).

Plus, Seth recently scored a game-winning goal in the Under 14 Girls Division Soccer Championship in Glendale. Then, for the one-two punch, he swept the 2003 Teen Choice Awards, winning awards in catagories ranging from The Actor We'd Most Like to Cause to Lose His Liquor License to Best Cock and Balls. He's a real pisser!"