Ready...Comment!

I'm planing on seeing the Dark Knight on Tuesday. I'll go to a late show so hopefully the crowd will not be that big. I'm always picky about getting a good seat in the theater without having to get to the theater hours in advance just to be one of the first in line.

I have anything right now, except that I'm continuing to write my story with plenty of passion. Meanwhile finding a job is not going well, but things could change.

...ready Go...

I'm trying to vent right now:

Why is getting sex so hard for some people? Everybody talks about it like a kid talks about going to the arcade and to me sex has always seemed like a once in a lifetime thing. I'm honestly starting to think that women hate sex! I'm afraid that I'm starting to enter that state of asexuality, women just don't do it for me like they did in the past, but these feelings are constantly punctuated by short spells of thinking that women are some of the best creatures on earth. My sex drive has been lower too, I'm finding less thrills in porn, masturbation or anything of that nature, when I do masturbate I'm not excited for very long before I feel like reaching orgasm and just getting it over with. Sometimes I wish I was asexual just so I wouldn't have worry about women and everything they haven't done to me for the past 26 years. Girls sever the line so fast with me I never feel like they ever really give me a chance to prove myself. I just don't feel like I have much reason to continue to pursue them. I'm in my mid twenties, in my prime yet still heavily behind on romantic relationships. Pretty soon I'm going to be thirty and not long after I'm going to start roting till eventually the only girls I can get are at the assisted living home!

Thanks to anybody who reads this and responds.

UPDATE: still venting.

I just packed up all my porn and stuffed it in the closet. That made me feel better a little bit. It has also been a while since I took down my girly posters, gotten rid of my Maxim calender and my racy desktop wallpaper. My room looks so baron now. A perfect metaphor for how I'm felling inside.

Just another boring day!

I just have to tell you all about my new experience. I meet a really great girl at a bar tonight and we really connected. She is a beautiful girl who dresses in black with dreadlocks and heavy makeup, just the kind of girl whom I feel are most attracted to me and who I am most attracted to. She said her dream is to become a Suicide Girl. She is a belly dancer and a Satanist. I am meeting her at the same bar at 9:00 tonight, and I can only imagine what will happen after that! For the first time I really feel like I'm connecting with somebody, we made out right there in the bar, we kissed passionately, words can't describe how it felt. And it was odd because when we first met I really felt like she blew me off, but it was just the opposite tonight. I feel I'm reaching a milestone in my life!

Haven't updated in a while, so I'm doing it now. I'm feeling rather good lately because a couple of weeks ago I finally decided to log onto my word processor and start writing again after a hiatus that lasted several years. I am absolutely in love with the character I'm writing about because she is one of those characters who just seems to write herself, and I can relate to her on a certain level. For the first time in my writing I really feel an intimate relationship with my work. Also, I'm particularly excited about this work because I'm finally close to actually finishing a long writing project, it is a screenplay and I'm almost finished, it is a good hour and 40 to 50 minute script and it is coming out beautifully.

I just graduated from the University of Nebraska. I'm glad I finally have school behind me now! Anyway, now the fun begins. I'm going to have to start looking for a job, because working at a greasy Mexican restaurant just isn't going to cut it. I graduated with a major in English, so from what some of my professors tell me there is a bunch of jobs that I can pursue with that degree. I could go into teaching (something which never really appealed to me), or advertising, or journalism or some other carrier that has to do with the mass media or writing. Never the less I really don't expect to fined my passion with whatever job I do end up getting. I guess I kind of feel that I have fallen into that classic "English majors are useless degrees" trap; on a more personal note even though I love reading, writing and studying literature I seem to have convinced myself that I left collage without absorbing any real skills that could lead to a potential job. I'll start hunting and see what happens.

On a different note, I did have a nice Christmas. I got a nice black wool coat, short with double rows of buttons and a nice big collar and lapel. It is warmer than my trench coat and long wool coat.
As a part of a Christmas and graduation present my mother chipped in with me on a 37 inch high-definition TV. The HD channels look great but I'm a bit disappointed about my standard definition DVDs. They just don't look as good as I thought they would even with an HDMI up-convert cable. I'm still working on it!

After having a bad experience at a party last Saturday involving alcohol, weed and a burrito I'm making a vow to NOT get drunk on New Years. I don't know what I'm doing on the 31st but my ears are open for talks of parties and whatnot.

Yes, I am 26 today, I'm officially over a quarter of a century old! 30 is staring my in the face right now! YIKES!

Once again another semester at the UNL is over and once again I'm going to try to get over not being busy with school work during Summer break. Every night before I go to bed I keep thinking to myself, "OK, what assignments do I have due tomorrow? Oh, wait, nothing!"