I feel like I am going to let you down, my kittens, because the month of June was really painfully dull in the gross-stories arena. I'm doing hematology this month, which basically means I sit and look at blood smears, bone marrow biopsies, and body fluids all day, and maybe do a post-vasectomy semen analysis if I'm lucky.
The few stories I have are really more interesting than gross:
- the 20-something dude who traveled to Uganda, came back to the States and began having cyclic fevers; his blood cells were amazingly LOADED with malaria parasites. Usually the story you get is not so textbook-fabulous.
- another 20-something dude who snorted a bunch of coke and bled into his brain; while working him up they discovered him to have FIFTY TIMES the normal number of white blood cells -- in a full on acute leukemic crisis. What probably happened is the white cells clogged up the little capillaries in his brain, made them weak, and they burst. (Do note, however, the blow didn't help the situation.) I'm shocked he's still alive. He may end up a vegetable.
- I had a couple of pre-malignant moles removed, and it reminded me that I am a PUSSY and a HORRIBLE patient. (Looking at my own skin under the microscope was spiffy though.) The mere thought of MELANOMA sends shudders of horror through me because it is the most highly underrated killer of the young and healthy.
On the upside, I've been drinking a lot of Southern Comfort. Fuck, I just remembered I'm out of lime juice.
Also on the upside, my pork chop surprised me with an impromptu trip to Vegas; sadly, it just confirmed how fucking old we are, going to bed all early and shit.
However, I'm still sore from all the ass I got, so really, who can complain.
Living behind the creepy Catholic hospital results in trucks like this parked on my street:
Fucking weirdos.
I went to a conference in Chicago over the weekend. The hospital paid for all of it -- the flight, the three nights on the Heavenly Bed in the Westin on Michigan Ave., the whole nine. I was shitfaced most of the time. And the shopping was fab. Crap-ass Phoenix really needs an H&M. BADLY.
And, as always, the food-based portion of the journal must ensue. What for dinner.....? Chinese? Crab puff? Nums.
The few stories I have are really more interesting than gross:
- the 20-something dude who traveled to Uganda, came back to the States and began having cyclic fevers; his blood cells were amazingly LOADED with malaria parasites. Usually the story you get is not so textbook-fabulous.
- another 20-something dude who snorted a bunch of coke and bled into his brain; while working him up they discovered him to have FIFTY TIMES the normal number of white blood cells -- in a full on acute leukemic crisis. What probably happened is the white cells clogged up the little capillaries in his brain, made them weak, and they burst. (Do note, however, the blow didn't help the situation.) I'm shocked he's still alive. He may end up a vegetable.
- I had a couple of pre-malignant moles removed, and it reminded me that I am a PUSSY and a HORRIBLE patient. (Looking at my own skin under the microscope was spiffy though.) The mere thought of MELANOMA sends shudders of horror through me because it is the most highly underrated killer of the young and healthy.
On the upside, I've been drinking a lot of Southern Comfort. Fuck, I just remembered I'm out of lime juice.
Also on the upside, my pork chop surprised me with an impromptu trip to Vegas; sadly, it just confirmed how fucking old we are, going to bed all early and shit.
However, I'm still sore from all the ass I got, so really, who can complain.
Living behind the creepy Catholic hospital results in trucks like this parked on my street:
Fucking weirdos.
I went to a conference in Chicago over the weekend. The hospital paid for all of it -- the flight, the three nights on the Heavenly Bed in the Westin on Michigan Ave., the whole nine. I was shitfaced most of the time. And the shopping was fab. Crap-ass Phoenix really needs an H&M. BADLY.
And, as always, the food-based portion of the journal must ensue. What for dinner.....? Chinese? Crab puff? Nums.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
jujubee:
okay you rock, I want you on my friends list.
sophie_sass:
That's a mighty high horse you're riding.