sansfreewheel

I sent an application in to work for the devil... KBR (a subsidiary of Halliburton) in Afghanistan. It pays a ton of money, blood money. But, it's ok. I'm fine with it. I can take that money and when I get back to the where ever I decide to call my home and put it into starting a nonprofit, or donate it to a charity,...
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Yikes, so much has changed lately. Lost someone I cared deeply about, I really doubt she'll understand how much she meant to me.

In other news I may be going to Auckland, NZ for a couple months with a friend (unless I can get a work visa then I'll stay for longer) and I'm probably gonna do most of my repairs there... fix my internals,...
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Well, I finally realized what makes me feel at home last night at the tail end of a party in our apartment. Everyone was leaving or crashing on our couches, my roommate Lindsey and I were just getting started, we had a 2 liter of generic Kool Aid and Vodka and a 1 Liter bottle of Mountain Dew and Gin that we just getting started...
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so... i got drunk at 7 am this morning. i'm a drunkard.

Some funny stuff has gone down while i was grubbing on some breakfast...... here's me explaining the situation on aim...

(10:39:34) me: the chick was trying to argue that since they didn't eat all their food that they didn't have to pay for it... and that once they took her card that her card was being held hostage.
(10:41:36) U********: hahahaha
(10:41:37) me: the drunk...
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I feel like an old lady, doing laundry and cutting out coupons. Damn, life hits you in the face sometimes. Finally finished grabbing Wild Strawberries off of a private p2p network the other day. That sort of makes me feel like an old lady too... watching movies from the 50's. Daaaaaaamn, I need new friends. All of my friends are my ex-wife's (wow) so I've...
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So, a girl I've known for forever has majorly fucked me over. The first time, was abandoning me in a foreign state... which hurt. Second time, she abandoned me when I needed her help the most. The third time, hasn't even happened yet. I bought a plane ticket on her saying "come see me" and "yeah that day is cool, stay how long you want."...
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I think I'm quitting... not as in suicide, but I just don't give a fuck anymore.

Blah

So, today I went to the urologist, and three tests later I found out that I've most likely (something like 95%) have testicular cancer. Hoo-fuckin'-ray. One thing after another. I go back Thursday for another more comprehensive test and won't find out if I do or I don't until the next week. This really fucking sucks, I'm not sure if I can handle this entirely....
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A lump that I found a while ago, checked out by a uralogist, said it was not cancerous and that it should go away. This was 6 months ago. The lump is bigger now, I am going in to another doctor now. If it is cancer, I'll probably want to kill the other doctor, because it was very tiny when I first found it, and...
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