"I'm on my way to god don't know or care
My brain's the weak heart
and my heart's the long stairs
We tore one down and erected another there
the match of the century:
absence vs. thin air"
Last night was strange, but maybe not in a bad way. When somebody (a certain someone) is so much part of your past, it's great to realise...
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My brain's the weak heart
and my heart's the long stairs
We tore one down and erected another there
the match of the century:
absence vs. thin air"
Last night was strange, but maybe not in a bad way. When somebody (a certain someone) is so much part of your past, it's great to realise...
Read More
I'm sick. Sitting in a huge pile of snotty kleenex and sneezing lots. I want to hide in/under my bed until the world finally gets the message and goes away, and I want somebody to hug me and bring me soup despite the fact that I'm horribly contagious and a bit scary looking (you wouldn't believe how bright red my nose is right now....)
yuck...
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yuck...
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llona:
i just got over what you have. i'd lecture you on all the stuff you should be taking, but i realize how taxing it is just to even get out of bed, much less make anything for yourself.
i'd make you chicken soup and hot toddys and bring you books. (you're probably not that scary looking anyway).
i hope you feel better soon, love.
xoxo
i'd make you chicken soup and hot toddys and bring you books. (you're probably not that scary looking anyway).
i hope you feel better soon, love.
xoxo
"the trick is to keep breathing...."
I went swimming today for the first time in ages, in my local pool which is old and victorian and beautiful, and there isn't a muscle that isn't aching. To the point where I'm thinking about trying yoga, which is a scary thing to admit. I'm the world's worst swimmer (and I'm nearly about as bad at just floating)...
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I went swimming today for the first time in ages, in my local pool which is old and victorian and beautiful, and there isn't a muscle that isn't aching. To the point where I'm thinking about trying yoga, which is a scary thing to admit. I'm the world's worst swimmer (and I'm nearly about as bad at just floating)...
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llona:
i am also thinking about moving. i have fantasies of farm houses and open fields. but i love the city too. so who knows.
you will probably freeze in germany. everyone always needs a new scarf. i bought a gorgeous blue one in new york.
it's going to be ok.
and yes, it's still warm here, sweetly warm with cool air and crisp mornings. my favorite thing is to stretch out on my couch in front of the window and let the sun warm my face. georgia is good for keeping your cheeks rosy.
hope you're well,
xoxo
you will probably freeze in germany. everyone always needs a new scarf. i bought a gorgeous blue one in new york.
it's going to be ok.
and yes, it's still warm here, sweetly warm with cool air and crisp mornings. my favorite thing is to stretch out on my couch in front of the window and let the sun warm my face. georgia is good for keeping your cheeks rosy.
hope you're well,
xoxo
A quick running update....
tonight I'm off to see Iron and Wine play, and I'm in the perfect mood for something quiet and intimate and half-whispered. The clocks going back and the nights closing in, surely and inevitably, always leave me feeling the need to hide and hibernate, fall back on everthing I've held in store over the summer... friends and books and ideas for...
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tonight I'm off to see Iron and Wine play, and I'm in the perfect mood for something quiet and intimate and half-whispered. The clocks going back and the nights closing in, surely and inevitably, always leave me feeling the need to hide and hibernate, fall back on everthing I've held in store over the summer... friends and books and ideas for...
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selena:
It sounds like your going to have a gorgeous evening. it amazes me how the loss of a single hour fucks up my routines for days before i get back into the shake of things. i dont think i had heard of modest mouse when they last toured, i'm going to see them in manchester 15/11 hopefully... i haven't bought my ticket yet 
x
x
llona:
iron&wine, whiskey, and scotland......ahhh, too much for my heart.
how was the show? iron&wine reminds me of a beautiful boy who kissed me in front of the ocean once.
dark chocolate and earl grey are good for sick gray days.
i hope you're well.
how was the show? iron&wine reminds me of a beautiful boy who kissed me in front of the ocean once.
dark chocolate and earl grey are good for sick gray days.
i hope you're well.
"After they had explored all the suns in the universe, and all the planets of all the suns, they realized that there was no other life in the universe, and that they were alone. And they were very happy, because they knew it was up to them to become all the things they imagined they would find..."
Lanford Wilson
"Fifth of July"
I've been so...
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Lanford Wilson
"Fifth of July"
I've been so...
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selena:
i've been doing nothing all week too, i should be intensly looking for a full time job. are you going to see modest mouse when they tour?!
bluechild:
happy day of the dead 
"...and after expenses, and pulling up fences, no more airplanes..."
lying in bed and typing (not so easy when you don't have a laptop and you're shortsighted and hunched up underneath all your bedclothes) and listening to Low "Things we Lost in the Fire", trying not to think about leaving this warm, coffee scented cocoon I've made for myself. I might get up to change...
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lying in bed and typing (not so easy when you don't have a laptop and you're shortsighted and hunched up underneath all your bedclothes) and listening to Low "Things we Lost in the Fire", trying not to think about leaving this warm, coffee scented cocoon I've made for myself. I might get up to change...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
llona:
yes! Green and Black's....I always get my friend to bring it back for me from London when he goes...it's amazing. that stuff with red wine will make you feel so wonderful.
how's the coat search coming? i'm having wardrobe anxiety for new york. i need someone to come and sift through this pile and help me decide what to take.
kisses.
how's the coat search coming? i'm having wardrobe anxiety for new york. i need someone to come and sift through this pile and help me decide what to take.
kisses.
llona:
i've been cocooned in my warm little house, only leaving for work and bits of socializing and shopping.
why was your day the worst? i've been having some bad ones but lately i've just refused to participate.
i know what you mean about packing too many of the wrong clothes. i'm so used to living in this warm weather that i always freeze when i travel north. i'm trying to compensate with this trip. i'm so jealous that you're going to munich.
i bought some gorgeous huge purple mugs this morning. just right for milky coffee.
xo
why was your day the worst? i've been having some bad ones but lately i've just refused to participate.
i know what you mean about packing too many of the wrong clothes. i'm so used to living in this warm weather that i always freeze when i travel north. i'm trying to compensate with this trip. i'm so jealous that you're going to munich.
i bought some gorgeous huge purple mugs this morning. just right for milky coffee.
xo
"we can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor pefect it in our lives to come...."
Milan Kundera
I spent today making plans near and far, booking flights (to Germany and London) and trying to catch up with all the people I've let slip a little bit recently, trying to figure out...
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Milan Kundera
I spent today making plans near and far, booking flights (to Germany and London) and trying to catch up with all the people I've let slip a little bit recently, trying to figure out...
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llona:
goodnight.
xo
xo
New photo time.
It's taken me only about three days (of tears and begging) to figure out how to do it, photoshop dunce that I am and it feels a bit strange being able to see my face properly, out there for people to recognise or not. Does it change the way this works - always hiding behind this vague anonymity and bad photography?
Hell,...
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It's taken me only about three days (of tears and begging) to figure out how to do it, photoshop dunce that I am and it feels a bit strange being able to see my face properly, out there for people to recognise or not. Does it change the way this works - always hiding behind this vague anonymity and bad photography?
Hell,...
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llona:
i'm going to new york just for fun.
i'll hide you in my suitcase and you can come along.
have you ever been?
that picture of you makes me die.
xo
i'll hide you in my suitcase and you can come along.
have you ever been?
that picture of you makes me die.
xo
llona:
[Edited on Oct 13, 2004 12:34AM]
[Edited on Oct 13, 2004 12:34AM]
I took a random day trip yesterday, just to get out of the city for a couple of hours, escape just a little bit. In my wisdom I got on a train to a small and wet seaside town half an hour up the coast, shivered my way along the beach, took some photos of crumbling seaside buildings, ate some (pretty damn good) fish and...
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llona:
*sigh* that sounds amazing. you're lucky to be able to hop a train and get somewhere like that in such a short time. i could head out to the countryside in my car, but the ocean is a few hours away and filled with redneck tourists.
i find that i'm desperate to be in my kitchen cooking when the seasons change. fall is one of my favorites, the heat of the kitchen doesn't bother me and all of the seasonal foods are rich and comforting. i like christmas baking, too.
xo
i find that i'm desperate to be in my kitchen cooking when the seasons change. fall is one of my favorites, the heat of the kitchen doesn't bother me and all of the seasonal foods are rich and comforting. i like christmas baking, too.
xo
llona:
i'm lucky in the fact that my bitterness usually doesn't settle. i've had a happy week: dinners out, cocktails with my favorite girls, my father's wedding yesterday.
i've had plenty of earl grey and good books to distract me as well.
and new york is soon- just a few weeks away.
i've had plenty of earl grey and good books to distract me as well.
and new york is soon- just a few weeks away.
There has to be an end to this hangover. It just can't go on like this (please.....)
It's been a weird week, but then I seem to be having a lot of those recently. My two best friends both left the country (one leaving Edinburgh for good) in the middle of the week, so I've been wandering round feeling just a little bit lost. It's...
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It's been a weird week, but then I seem to be having a lot of those recently. My two best friends both left the country (one leaving Edinburgh for good) in the middle of the week, so I've been wandering round feeling just a little bit lost. It's...
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llona:
god, i have the worst hangover today as well. bleh.
i'm so sorry your friends are gone. i hope you'll find some pleasant distractions, though that sounds like i'm making light of it.
i found an absolutely gorgeous black boucle vintage coat at the goodwill for 5$. i think that's a good omen for your coat wishes.
love.
i'm so sorry your friends are gone. i hope you'll find some pleasant distractions, though that sounds like i'm making light of it.
i found an absolutely gorgeous black boucle vintage coat at the goodwill for 5$. i think that's a good omen for your coat wishes.
love.
Some Notes on Strangeness:
That time of year again, the creeping inescapable sense of everything changing and shifting; each morning waking up and standing at the usual bus stop and shivering a little more. The days are still warm, glorious even, but the mornings and nights are cold, a little bitter even. I'm counting the days until I need to go scarf shopping, the prospect...
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That time of year again, the creeping inescapable sense of everything changing and shifting; each morning waking up and standing at the usual bus stop and shivering a little more. The days are still warm, glorious even, but the mornings and nights are cold, a little bitter even. I'm counting the days until I need to go scarf shopping, the prospect...
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llona:
i've missed you so much. i'm glad for the recent entry, just to get some sense of how you've been.
i didn't buy the coat. no money. i've decided that my green one will just have to do. it has cute emerald colored square buttons, and a charming ladylike shape to it. it's not the red cashmere, but oh well. scarves and gloves will tide me over. i bought a pair of elbow length, raspberry colored gloves that are too, too perfect.
i hope things are good with you, wish i'd been the one ballroom dancing with you.
xoxo
i didn't buy the coat. no money. i've decided that my green one will just have to do. it has cute emerald colored square buttons, and a charming ladylike shape to it. it's not the red cashmere, but oh well. scarves and gloves will tide me over. i bought a pair of elbow length, raspberry colored gloves that are too, too perfect.
i hope things are good with you, wish i'd been the one ballroom dancing with you.
xoxo
llona:
you must come to the states. you know that, right?
and you have double incentive because Jem and I are both in Atlanta.
i'll take you dancing and we can sit on my porch and drink tea.
and you have double incentive because Jem and I are both in Atlanta.
i'll take you dancing and we can sit on my porch and drink tea.
I went away kind of hoping it would all work itself out, and I guess it has in a fashion...
the certainty of uncertainty. LIke having plans made and ready for the weekend and her walking away from them just like that, and telling you its not your fault.
But it is really. You both understand that now, and to some far-imagined extent, it doesn't...
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the certainty of uncertainty. LIke having plans made and ready for the weekend and her walking away from them just like that, and telling you its not your fault.
But it is really. You both understand that now, and to some far-imagined extent, it doesn't...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
llona:
maybe sometime i can meet you in London........that would be so fun.
llona:
where did you go?
come back to us.
come back to us.
which book is it?
i think everything is strange these days. but not in a bad way.
and dancing is always good for you, even if you're sick. i think it strengthens the immune system.
kisses.
of course i want a christmas present! i'll send you one too.
xoxo