I have become an emotional and verbal punching bag in this relationship and I know what I should do, but I dont know what I want to do. One minute everything is great, the next it literally feels like he is trying to see just how much he can truly hurt me. I want to confront him but I know he will just get unnecessarily mad and flip out at me not even giving me the chance to say what I have to before just walking away. I want to scream i want to make him listen and feel how he makes me feel. If we do separate I have no one. I dont know anyone, I dont go out, and I am pretty sure it will be years before I am no longer single. I gave myself a timeline to let him come around because of the death in his family, but its getting close to the no longer acceptable stage and I can feel myself falling apart.
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If every time you try to get close to him, maybe you should give him space.
Much like a girl that's a great friend of mine, you seems to attached to your BF, eve tough your relationship seems (to me) very dysfunctional.
Don't get me wrong but I see you complaining so much about your relationship, and then see you complain about being single. But sometimes it looks like you would do better single. You say you don't have friends but I'm certainly you can make some. You are a great girl, there is no need to keep yourself stuck in a relationship that makes you suffer so much.
Well, that's just what I think. Just hope things work out for you....