Every day I can feel the distance between myself and the people around me greatening. I find myself becoming friends with people Ive never met, over those who are actually tangible.
My new friends?
Henry Rollins
Mat Bruso
Dallas Green
Zooey Deschanel
Louis Armstrong
Brian McKnight
Vincent Bennett
Zach Galifinakus
Patrick Flynn
All the music, movies and books on tape (I hate actual reading) that I fill my time with have replaced watching baseball and ESPN with my roommate. And going out to eat with friends. And just anything in general that you see in, like, Midol, and over-active bladder drug commercials.
For some reason, I am not bothered by this.
I find comfort in my independence.
The thing that really chaps my ass is the cold part of my bed that hasnt been filled in many months. I know that I am obviously not being pro-active about settling this issue; but it seems like I dont even have a desire to anymore.
Every single girl whose arms Ive called home, I now call whore or cunt in the back of my mind on a minute to minute basis.
Okay; I know that one of these relationships, which happens to be the longest, was definitely my foul that it ended badly. But since then, Ive done nothing by put my all into the girls that have followed her; and Ive gotten shit on.
I dont understand it.
Do women not want to be respected?
Do nice guys really finish last?
Did I turn into some kind of circus freak in the past few years?
I mean fuck, man.
I guess what Im trying to do here, is wake myself up. Ive never struggled with anything this hard in my life. I just cant get past the 3 major relationships in my life up to this point. Every time I meet a girl I could be remotely interested in, I either dont even try to speak to her (80% of the time), or just tell myself it isnt worth the effort and Ill just be off worse (the other 20%).
Im not sure how writing this will help me surface from this self induced sea of woman fear; but its really the only way I can think of.
back when I knew how to love
My new friends?
Henry Rollins
Mat Bruso
Dallas Green
Zooey Deschanel
Louis Armstrong
Brian McKnight
Vincent Bennett
Zach Galifinakus
Patrick Flynn
All the music, movies and books on tape (I hate actual reading) that I fill my time with have replaced watching baseball and ESPN with my roommate. And going out to eat with friends. And just anything in general that you see in, like, Midol, and over-active bladder drug commercials.
For some reason, I am not bothered by this.
I find comfort in my independence.
The thing that really chaps my ass is the cold part of my bed that hasnt been filled in many months. I know that I am obviously not being pro-active about settling this issue; but it seems like I dont even have a desire to anymore.
Every single girl whose arms Ive called home, I now call whore or cunt in the back of my mind on a minute to minute basis.
Okay; I know that one of these relationships, which happens to be the longest, was definitely my foul that it ended badly. But since then, Ive done nothing by put my all into the girls that have followed her; and Ive gotten shit on.
I dont understand it.
Do women not want to be respected?
Do nice guys really finish last?
Did I turn into some kind of circus freak in the past few years?
I mean fuck, man.
I guess what Im trying to do here, is wake myself up. Ive never struggled with anything this hard in my life. I just cant get past the 3 major relationships in my life up to this point. Every time I meet a girl I could be remotely interested in, I either dont even try to speak to her (80% of the time), or just tell myself it isnt worth the effort and Ill just be off worse (the other 20%).
Im not sure how writing this will help me surface from this self induced sea of woman fear; but its really the only way I can think of.
back when I knew how to love
Love is fleating it comes and goes my dear...and it always comes when you least expect it!!
Just try and remember the past is like your ass it is behind you!
And if you have turned into a circus freak..well then I am in line to buy some tickests..I do love the circus!!
Thank you for your friendship!!!