Finally got a bike.
Finally getting into decent shape
Now I just need to find my way home
Every day I can feel the distance between myself and the people around me greatening. I find myself becoming friends with people I’ve never met, over those who are actually tangible.
My new friends?
Henry Rollins
Mat Bruso
Dallas Green
Zooey Deschanel
Louis Armstrong
Brian McKnight
Vincent Bennett
Zach Galifinakus
Patrick Flynn
All the music, movies and books on tape (I hate actual reading) that I fill my time with have replaced watching baseball and ESPN with my roommate. And going out to eat with friends. And just anything in general that you see in, like, Midol, and over-active bladder drug commercials.
For some reason, I am not bothered by this.
I find comfort in my independence.
The thing that really chaps my ass is the cold part of my bed that hasn’t been filled in many months. I know that I am obviously not being pro-active about settling this issue; but it seems like I don’t even have a desire to anymore.
Every single girl whose arms I’ve called home, I now call “whore” or “cunt” in the back of my mind on a minute to minute basis.
Okay; I know that one of these relationships, which happens to be the longest, was definitely my foul that it ended badly. But since then, I’ve done nothing by put my all into the girls that have followed her; and I’ve gotten shit on.
I don’t understand it.
Do women not want to be respected?
Do nice guys really finish last?
Did I turn into some kind of circus freak in the past few years?
I mean fuck, man.
I guess what I’m trying to do here, is wake myself up. I’ve never struggled with anything this hard in my life. I just can’t get past the 3 major relationships in my life up to this point. Every time I meet a girl I could be remotely interested in, I either don’t even try to speak to her (80% of the time), or just tell myself it isn’t worth the effort and I’ll just be off worse (the other 20%).
I’m not sure how writing this will help me surface from this self induced sea of woman fear; but its really the only way I can think of.
back when I knew how to love
My new friends?
Henry Rollins
Mat Bruso
Dallas Green
Zooey Deschanel
Louis Armstrong
Brian McKnight
Vincent Bennett
Zach Galifinakus
Patrick Flynn
All the music, movies and books on tape (I hate actual reading) that I fill my time with have replaced watching baseball and ESPN with my roommate. And going out to eat with friends. And just anything in general that you see in, like, Midol, and over-active bladder drug commercials.
For some reason, I am not bothered by this.
I find comfort in my independence.
The thing that really chaps my ass is the cold part of my bed that hasn’t been filled in many months. I know that I am obviously not being pro-active about settling this issue; but it seems like I don’t even have a desire to anymore.
Every single girl whose arms I’ve called home, I now call “whore” or “cunt” in the back of my mind on a minute to minute basis.
Okay; I know that one of these relationships, which happens to be the longest, was definitely my foul that it ended badly. But since then, I’ve done nothing by put my all into the girls that have followed her; and I’ve gotten shit on.
I don’t understand it.
Do women not want to be respected?
Do nice guys really finish last?
Did I turn into some kind of circus freak in the past few years?
I mean fuck, man.
I guess what I’m trying to do here, is wake myself up. I’ve never struggled with anything this hard in my life. I just can’t get past the 3 major relationships in my life up to this point. Every time I meet a girl I could be remotely interested in, I either don’t even try to speak to her (80% of the time), or just tell myself it isn’t worth the effort and I’ll just be off worse (the other 20%).
I’m not sure how writing this will help me surface from this self induced sea of woman fear; but its really the only way I can think of.
back when I knew how to love
I think the next time someone asks me why I don't drink, I'm going to ask them why they do.
People don't realize how much bad shit comes from alcohol.
My ex was raped the first time she got drunk.
My mom's best friend and my great aunt were both killed by drunk drivers.
My roommate ha gone to rehab, and he still came back and got in trouble. And two days ago, he got a D.U.I.
Now, he faces getting kicked out of the Marine Corps, and possibly doing time in jail.
Not to mention all of the physical and emotional damage alcohol does to your body.
Some people never see these things. But I have. And Hopefully they never experience any of the shit that I have had to help th people closest to me through.
But, I do hope that if you do drink, do it responsibly.
Get a DD. Take a cab. Don't get drunk and let yourself get stranded with someone you don't trust or know.
Just don't let yourself be another thing I can add to my list.![]()
People don't realize how much bad shit comes from alcohol.
My ex was raped the first time she got drunk.
My mom's best friend and my great aunt were both killed by drunk drivers.
My roommate ha gone to rehab, and he still came back and got in trouble. And two days ago, he got a D.U.I.
Now, he faces getting kicked out of the Marine Corps, and possibly doing time in jail.
Not to mention all of the physical and emotional damage alcohol does to your body.
Some people never see these things. But I have. And Hopefully they never experience any of the shit that I have had to help th people closest to me through.
But, I do hope that if you do drink, do it responsibly.
Get a DD. Take a cab. Don't get drunk and let yourself get stranded with someone you don't trust or know.
Just don't let yourself be another thing I can add to my list.
I'm such a lazy man.
I haven't shaved since thursday.
And I don't plan on it til wednesday.
I wish I could quit my job and just pack up and explore.
That's my dream.
And I would definately buy a duster that i would wear at all times.
I haven't shaved since thursday.
And I don't plan on it til wednesday.
I wish I could quit my job and just pack up and explore.
That's my dream.
And I would definately buy a duster that i would wear at all times.
