i lost myself somewhere along the way. there are flickers now and then, but mostly it is just some shell of a person i used to be.

i used to be so passionate about and love seeing bands, listening to music, seeing movies, being a bit loopy.... now i just go, meh too much effort and just settle into this boring life.
did i just do like these things becaus ei thought it would bring me acceptance? or did i really like them but now i cant be bothered being so into them that my life depends on it? is it part of getting older? you realise life is not going to be over if you dont go to one big day out, or u miss out on tickets to something? and once you start missing one or two, does it seem less likely you will ever need to go to one again?
i guess my questions come from the last few things i have been to, soundwave, good vibes and so on... i cant get into them anymore, have I changed? or have they changed? I watch bands, and feel nothing that i used to feel when at concerts... when it was so important to be up the front watching bands, being SOOOO into the music... begging my mum to buy me a big day out ticket for xmas every year because it was the most important thing in the world.

i dont know where i was planning to go with this...

maybe it is me... maybe the point is you have to try hard to have an interest or passion, you have to live it everyday, and not try to spread yourself too far across a lot of things?

meh