The job and potential move have been put on hold indefinitely. Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be.
But on other fronts, I may have met someone. After this coming weekend, we'll see if it amounts to anything.
But on other fronts, I may have met someone. After this coming weekend, we'll see if it amounts to anything.
I'm wiped out. Just got off the road returning from Indy. 11hrs driving and I need some relaxation.
Hope all your weekend plans go smoothly.
Hope all your weekend plans go smoothly.
Oh, I love it when my uncontrolable curiosity forces me to entertain myself, and it usually ends in injury...
For some time now, I have been without a landlord. There is a huge probate mess going on within the family who owns my building. The elderly gentleman who sat as a figure head within his investment firm passed away almost two years ago, and his nephew (who actually ran things) is in a battle to retain control as other family factions grab at what has been left behind. This means when something needs to be done, I usually end up doing it myself rather than waiting weeks for the trust fund company to get around to sending someone to take care of the problem.
Which brings me to tonight's entertainment.
I have a coin-operated (no, not a boy) washer and dryer. No one has gotten the money from these for who-knows-how-long. I found that I can bypass the mechanism on the washer (simply screwdriver slot), so I don't have to pay to wash my clothes. However, there is still a lock on the dryer. I googles how to pick a tubular lock and found that you can possibly get one open using a pen body. This lock is larger than the circumfrance of the body, but the top fits just fine. Problem is I had to carve off the little stem of plastic used to clip it into a pocket protector.
Enter the pain... I grab a serrated kitchen knife to try and shape this stem into a narrow notch, which will slip into the cylinder and help turn the tumbler. Only I slip during one slice... and end up in my index finger about a 1/4" deep. Lovely! Swearing and pinching the wound close, I grab some tissue and hold it closed. Now, much like Curly from the Three Stooges, pain does not negate frustration and determination to do something. In fact, I'll blindly charge back into the situation simply to make a point, even if it is just to myself. Holding the tissue and the pen cap in one hand and the knife in the other, I attempt again to carve the plastic, only now I'm using more force and frowning deeply.
And I slip again. Fire fills my brain and my hand. Now I've gone into my middle finger, much deeper than the first cut and also much longer. So I fling the knife across the room, annointing wall and anything else in the way with red droplets. The tissue now covers two fingers and I decide that I need tactical rethinking. Obviously the serrated knife will not rest now; having tasted human blood, it won't stop until it has my soul. So I let it lay where it came to rest and took up a sharp paring knife. This got the job done wonderfully.
Unfortunately, the pick trick was a bust. The notch just didn't line up correctly. And my fingers continue to bleed. But I have some super glue around here somewhere, so everything worked out. Sort of.
I still have to pay to dry my clothes and the coin bank is getting full. Hopefully they'll make it over here soon with the key before I try something else
For some time now, I have been without a landlord. There is a huge probate mess going on within the family who owns my building. The elderly gentleman who sat as a figure head within his investment firm passed away almost two years ago, and his nephew (who actually ran things) is in a battle to retain control as other family factions grab at what has been left behind. This means when something needs to be done, I usually end up doing it myself rather than waiting weeks for the trust fund company to get around to sending someone to take care of the problem.
Which brings me to tonight's entertainment.
I have a coin-operated (no, not a boy) washer and dryer. No one has gotten the money from these for who-knows-how-long. I found that I can bypass the mechanism on the washer (simply screwdriver slot), so I don't have to pay to wash my clothes. However, there is still a lock on the dryer. I googles how to pick a tubular lock and found that you can possibly get one open using a pen body. This lock is larger than the circumfrance of the body, but the top fits just fine. Problem is I had to carve off the little stem of plastic used to clip it into a pocket protector.
Enter the pain... I grab a serrated kitchen knife to try and shape this stem into a narrow notch, which will slip into the cylinder and help turn the tumbler. Only I slip during one slice... and end up in my index finger about a 1/4" deep. Lovely! Swearing and pinching the wound close, I grab some tissue and hold it closed. Now, much like Curly from the Three Stooges, pain does not negate frustration and determination to do something. In fact, I'll blindly charge back into the situation simply to make a point, even if it is just to myself. Holding the tissue and the pen cap in one hand and the knife in the other, I attempt again to carve the plastic, only now I'm using more force and frowning deeply.
And I slip again. Fire fills my brain and my hand. Now I've gone into my middle finger, much deeper than the first cut and also much longer. So I fling the knife across the room, annointing wall and anything else in the way with red droplets. The tissue now covers two fingers and I decide that I need tactical rethinking. Obviously the serrated knife will not rest now; having tasted human blood, it won't stop until it has my soul. So I let it lay where it came to rest and took up a sharp paring knife. This got the job done wonderfully.
Unfortunately, the pick trick was a bust. The notch just didn't line up correctly. And my fingers continue to bleed. But I have some super glue around here somewhere, so everything worked out. Sort of.
I still have to pay to dry my clothes and the coin bank is getting full. Hopefully they'll make it over here soon with the key before I try something else
In between my bouts of depression last week, I did attend a kick-ass show. Mindless Self Indulgence came through Little Rock and I was there to see them!!! They were so great. I know they have backing tracks playing over the live show, but the vocals and other stage instruments were a live performance, although the guitarist did leave the stage for two songs and the sounds were still being piped in over the speakers. I think he was a little drunk.
Anyway, I wish Little Rock would attract more industrial/electronic/EBM/goth types. The venues here are getting better to hosts such shows. Unfortunately this is no metropolis like Chicago or Dallas, but hopefully word will get around that this is a profitable and supportive stop for such bands. And a major interstate goes right thru town, so coming here is usually on the way to somewhere else.
Anyway, I wish Little Rock would attract more industrial/electronic/EBM/goth types. The venues here are getting better to hosts such shows. Unfortunately this is no metropolis like Chicago or Dallas, but hopefully word will get around that this is a profitable and supportive stop for such bands. And a major interstate goes right thru town, so coming here is usually on the way to somewhere else.
I need a relationship. Not something which lasts a night, or a week, or a month... something lasting, or everlasting, whatever the case may be. I've had two fail in as many months. One really never got off the ground. There were definitely sparks, and a growing chemistry, but I think there were also some questions on both our parts as to whether things would really work (lots of schedule conflicts). I was hoping to put them aside and see where we might go, but she made the decision for the both of us and severed our connection with guillotine precision. I could only roll on the deck and blink til the shock wore off.
The second was a one-nighter (two, actually) that I truly wanted to make into more. She and I actually stayed up and talked for most of the night, then became physical for the rest of the night. The chance may still exist for an "us" to occur, but as the days pass, I feel the negative possibility growing exponentially. The calls and texts I've sent have been turned down politely but in classic fashion. I'll let naivety rule until sensibility takes over.
(edited to add):
got a text a few moments ago. apparently I was a temporary rock during the storm of her questionable relationship, which has now been reconciled. not being egotistical, but I don't think she could have picked a better person to have a fling with. I took a genuine concern for her, listened during the conversation we shared, noticed the hurt in her voice, and gave her pleasure and comfort. Sleeping in someone's arms and waking to their warm embrace is bliss and now I suppose I have one more good memory to look back upon. I still want to scream "WTF?!?!?" into the darkness, but somehow I feel slightly better about the whole ordeal.
The second was a one-nighter (two, actually) that I truly wanted to make into more. She and I actually stayed up and talked for most of the night, then became physical for the rest of the night. The chance may still exist for an "us" to occur, but as the days pass, I feel the negative possibility growing exponentially. The calls and texts I've sent have been turned down politely but in classic fashion. I'll let naivety rule until sensibility takes over.
(edited to add):
got a text a few moments ago. apparently I was a temporary rock during the storm of her questionable relationship, which has now been reconciled. not being egotistical, but I don't think she could have picked a better person to have a fling with. I took a genuine concern for her, listened during the conversation we shared, noticed the hurt in her voice, and gave her pleasure and comfort. Sleeping in someone's arms and waking to their warm embrace is bliss and now I suppose I have one more good memory to look back upon. I still want to scream "WTF?!?!?" into the darkness, but somehow I feel slightly better about the whole ordeal.
I am taking small steps toward the change to temper myself for the unknown. And to be honest I do have fears. I would be a fool to say I do not. My father told me the greatest advice when I was very young and afraid of my own imagination come nightfall - "It's ok to be afraid, just don't let it get the best of you".
So on Wednesday I went for my job interview, the first step in causing chaos in my life. I say chaos because things are pretty orderly right now. Overall I believe it went well. I have more than enough experience to fulfill the position, but one detail popped up during the interview that may make me change my mind: it is a nighttime position, covering either the 4-12 shift, ot the 12-8 shift. And they expect weekend work. This would cut into my social time tremendously, which is a main reason why I am leaving my current job. I have no time to meet people, most of all women, and if I do, who wants to put up a crazy night schedule?
As of now, I am simply weighing my options. The pay is better than what I'm making now, and I suppose that I could always quit this job as well if things don't work out. But no sense in stressing about things...
Right now, I simply want to drink and relax.
Have a good weekend, all!!
So on Wednesday I went for my job interview, the first step in causing chaos in my life. I say chaos because things are pretty orderly right now. Overall I believe it went well. I have more than enough experience to fulfill the position, but one detail popped up during the interview that may make me change my mind: it is a nighttime position, covering either the 4-12 shift, ot the 12-8 shift. And they expect weekend work. This would cut into my social time tremendously, which is a main reason why I am leaving my current job. I have no time to meet people, most of all women, and if I do, who wants to put up a crazy night schedule?
As of now, I am simply weighing my options. The pay is better than what I'm making now, and I suppose that I could always quit this job as well if things don't work out. But no sense in stressing about things...
Right now, I simply want to drink and relax.
Have a good weekend, all!!
hi
how is everyone?
I've been suffering from blogger's block for quite some time now. Maybe it could be that I've become entangled in the mundane drone of life. To coin a phrase, I've been Rip-van-Winkled, alseep and unaware of the passage of time. But now I'm awake, seeing the stagnation sufficating me and giving no path other than a circular one. And I've worn it out.
So now I'm striving to break the cycle. I've spoken of this in the past, but lacked the strength to complete the journey. My inner fires died to a smoldering ember, barely alive. But things have happened in the past few weeks that knocked the ember around and completely re-ingited the fire. Strike while the iron is hot, some would say. I agree. So in this spirit I'm putting in my notice to work that I've chosen other seas to sail.
Where this will lead, I do not know. I'm very apprehensive with this decision, but my happiness and sanity are at stake. We are not our jobs. Our jobs should be an extension of ourselves, a means of making a living. But when it comsumes all the life from you, takes the joy from your days, it's time to assess where the focus lies.
*sigh*
Strength is what I need. I know difficulties are ahead. I just have to calm myself and build up my confidence before walking willingly into the fire... and hope I don't get burned too badly.
how is everyone?
I've been suffering from blogger's block for quite some time now. Maybe it could be that I've become entangled in the mundane drone of life. To coin a phrase, I've been Rip-van-Winkled, alseep and unaware of the passage of time. But now I'm awake, seeing the stagnation sufficating me and giving no path other than a circular one. And I've worn it out.
So now I'm striving to break the cycle. I've spoken of this in the past, but lacked the strength to complete the journey. My inner fires died to a smoldering ember, barely alive. But things have happened in the past few weeks that knocked the ember around and completely re-ingited the fire. Strike while the iron is hot, some would say. I agree. So in this spirit I'm putting in my notice to work that I've chosen other seas to sail.
Where this will lead, I do not know. I'm very apprehensive with this decision, but my happiness and sanity are at stake. We are not our jobs. Our jobs should be an extension of ourselves, a means of making a living. But when it comsumes all the life from you, takes the joy from your days, it's time to assess where the focus lies.
*sigh*
Strength is what I need. I know difficulties are ahead. I just have to calm myself and build up my confidence before walking willingly into the fire... and hope I don't get burned too badly.
If I had to pick one word to describe this weekend's game, it would be 'devastation'. We outscored the competition 26 to 1. All the endurance training and evenings practicing in the heat really paid off. Now we have two weeks til our next match. Beware, Kansas City!
