Sick

Turns out reading is re-reading.

Hey all,

I hope this finds you well and good. Thanks for stopping by.

I decided to pay attention to my reading schedule, and for the first time to kind of organize it.

On New Year's Day, I thought, what the hell? There are books I read every year. And I missed all of them? Why not read them all in a go?

So that's what I am up to. I decided to do all of my favorites right in a row. I am just finishing up Lonesome Dove. Going to start Middlemarch right afterwards. After that, The Diamond Age and Catch-22.

And then we'll start this year's reading.

Mind you, I am already cheating. This morning I jumped ahead and started The Half Made World. So far so good. I can't say I really know what's going on just yet having carefully avoided spoilers. But its got my interest, that's for sure.

Okay that's it for today. Love you SG.

Stay Slinky,

ph

Taoist Thought of the Day: You learn The Way, then you unlearn The Way, then you are The Way.

Pet Report: Yesterday AM the dog and the cat actually worked together to wake me up. He stood on the floor near the bed and pawed me while she climbed right up on my chest. Its a household first.

Currently Digging: Vegetable Soup with Cibatta Bread, Josh Deets, the Masturbation group, Coconut Pachong tea

YO! Love you friends, new and old!

Greetings to my SG Friends and Neighbors, I hope this finds you well and good.

What did you get up to for the Holidays?

The missus and I spent Christmas Eve with my mother in law. It was hard - my father-in-law died this year, and my mother-in-law has really gone out of her way to avoid us and everyone since. She wasn't much into seeing us for Christmas, but once we showed up I think we all enjoyed ourselves We wound up watching the Walton's Pilot, the movie that became The Waltons tv show (which I have actually never seen) while we ate our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. I am worried about her. We keep asking her to come stay with us for a while, even promised to bite the bullet and get Cable TV so she can catch her shows, but she isn't having it.

I wish for her to be happy, healthy, well, and productive.

We did Christmas Day with my folks and some old friends of ours who were in town. Super hip. I had a great time, really enjoyed the day. My folks are the best, my sister is the best, my wife is the best . . . I am a blessed motherfucker, am I .

Also met my sister's new squeeze, who seems an altogether alright fellow. He's an incorrigible name dropper and my first impression is that he is the kind of mofo who waits to talk rather than listens. But he's cool, and he's over the moon for my sister and seems to treat her well. So cool.

My gift for my wife - a bottle of home made absinth from this dude who makes it here in town - fell through when I couldn't get dude to ever get in touch with me for picking it up. So I faced an utter, utter Gifting Fail when she got me three pairs of pants (which I desperately needed), and she got my little gifts: a pair of sweet popcorn bins for movie night, and a calendar of Goats in Trees (the missus is mad for goats. It's harmless).

Also . . . turned a book in a few weeks ago and finally heard back from the publisher/ principals (I am actually kind of Ghost Writing it for a web celeb. Another first for your ol homeboy Punkinhead!). They were happy with it, and asked for the least/ easiest to fix corrections of any thing I have ever turned in for publication. That's a good goddamn feeling. I actually did all of the corrections except the only kind of major one, and this blog post is my warm up on my way to getting that done and put to bed today.

A ton of bad shit is going on too but I'm gonna leave off it for now. Right here and now I am in a comfortable room in my comfortable house, feeling good and ready to work. I'll write about the bum crap some other time. Or I won't.

So . . . so that's it. Its a good time, a stressful time. I have no money but feel like I'm king of the world. Things are good and everything is a joy, things suck so bad I just want to give up. Life.

And that's it for now. Love!

punkinhead,

Taoist Thought of the Day: The Tao is in every corner of the world.

Pet Report: We put a Jaunty Red Bandanna on Bacchus, and he seems to like wearing it. He looks very dashing with it on. All the cats in the neighborhood love Bacchus, and when I take him out for his walk two or three always come and greet him with touched noses and sniffing. Vindaloo has been a total sweetheart of late, except when she is being the devil herself. I never notice her when I'm asleep but her midnight bed ramble always wakes the missus up. We talk about taking away her bedroom privileges, but nobody really wants to do that to her.

Currently digging: baked ziti, month two of my Yo La Tengo kick, holiday movies, holiday memories Horns by Joe Hill

I come to SG when I feel like telling the truth. Or at least the whole truth.

Howdy SG Friends and Neighbors,

I hope this finds you well and good.

How was your Thanksgiving? I had a rockin' day.

So yeah, here is the shit I don't talk about on Facebook. I've been published for eleven years now butt no fiction . . . until tonight.

I just self published my first children's book. I wrote the first three chapters in 1991, the final nine in 2006-7 or so. sat on it, sent it around to publishers, networked it a bit,, finally hired an editor and an illustrator, and published it as an eBook. Cross your fingers for your old homeboy that it will actually make some scratch and get in front of the right people.

All I want to do is write full time. Its my only ambition, the only thing I really want in this world. If this even does just okay, like if it makes enough to pay like, one bill for a few months - well, I am going to clean up everything I ever put to paper, give that shit an edit and see if somebody gives a shit.

Anyway I feel all done and sleepy now. Its been a truly fucked up month but all of the sudden it all turns around.

So that;s the last thing - all that bullshit about just give it one more day, never know what's going to wash up on the beach, all of that? All true, one hundred percent. Keep ya head up.

be well,

ph

Taoist Thought of the Day: Breathe.

Pet Report: Bacchus is being so awesome. We had a great walk tonight, then played tug of war with his rope for a while. Hes the best. Vindaloo is being not so sociable these days, but is still occasionally sweet.

Currently Digging: Tom of Bedlam, The Waterboys, crazy turkey sandwiches, La Croix water

Happy birthday to me!

Hey SG Friends and neighbors, I hope this finds you well and good.

So today I turn 42.

Here is something I have learned about getting older: getting older seems to be awful for people who haven't appreciated their lives, for whatever reason.

Me? Couldn't be happier. I have had lots of adventures, gone through all the stages you might want go to through. I have been threatened, beat up, had my heart broken, and fell into despair for myself, my generation, and my planet. I have been exalted, criticized, demonized. All of it made me grow into who I am now, and I like who I am now very much.

I have laughed so fucking much. Read so fucking much. Written, played, fucked so fucking much.

I have had so many amazing, life-affirming moments, so many thrills, so many truly wonderful days and hours and minutes. I am in love, have been in love.

I almost assuredly could have been richer, or more successful. But I don't know how much happier I could have been. If you measured success by the sum total of ones happiness I am a wealthy soul.

So what do I wish for today? I wish for you. I wish for you to be happy, and healthy, and wise. Me, I'm covered.

be well,

ph

Taoist Thought of the Day: Moderation in all things - Including Moderation!

Pet Report: Bacchus had to go to the doctor and as a result one of his legs was shaved down to bare skin. And its freaking the brother out. He licks it almost continuously. I have to keep trying to distract him because he is licking himself raw. Speaking of health problems Vindaloo developed a luridly fat lip last week. Her lip had two little points in it, which makes us think she got a spider bite. She is doing much better now.

Currently digging: Gundam Style, Guided By Voices, Banana Walnut Pancakes, Birthday Indulgences, Quality Personal Time!

I am an SNL Digital Short!

Good morning SG friends and neighbors.

Just time for a quick one. I am about to go pick up my boy Q and take him to Trader Joe's, as he owns no car and has never been.

"Lazy Sunday, called Q to see how he's doin . . ."

be well,

ph

Taoist Thought of the Day: The Tao is always there for you when you want it. It does not judge you, it is not disappointed that you have strayed.

Pet Report: Bacchus has become a lazy bastard who won't wake up in the AM to go for a walk. What kind of a Dog is that? Vindaloo is conflicting with the missus - she is the origional "I want you to pet me, but I also want to bite you" cat.

Currently Digging: Game of Thrones, The Stand, Dylan, black coffee

Why isn't it cool to be a waiter?

Hey everyone, its your boy Punkinhead, as always hoping this finds you well and good.

So last night I took advantage of an opportunity to go and work catering at a big wedding a few towns over. I served, bussed, passed h'ordeuvres, worked set up and break down.

And loved it.

Back in the day I waited tables for several restaurants. And I'm good at it, if I do say so myself.

But I stopped waiting tables because of the stigma associated with restaurant work. I could tell that my parents, my friends, and most of my exes were all disappointed with what I did for a living. So i tried other stuff - I've been a pawn broker, an office drone, an assembly line worker and a fork lift driver. I liked none of those jobs as well as I liked waiting tables; I wasn't as good at any of those jobs as I am at being a waiter.

Mind you, all of this the work that I do to support my writing, so we're not talking about a career. Writing is my career, and I'm successful at it as long as you don't measure success by the ability to support yourself financially by your endeavors.

So why not wait tables? I caved in to the pressure that society puts on some work and not on others. I'm a wuss who can't help but take every "do you want fried with that" joke personally. That's my problem. But I think that the fact that some jobs give social currency and some take it away is a problem of our society.

After all: who doesn't like to go out to eat? And who wants a shitty water fucking up their orders and not refilling coffee?

Other than that: The Avengers kicked fucking ass. I am exhausted today, tired out from a super strenuous night of serving.

hope all is well,

ph

Taoist Thought of the Day: The Coward only has himself to blame.

Pet Report: I just bought some on-sale dog clippers and Bacchus is going to get his summer shave one night this week. Vindaloo is being extra sweet today . . . what's she planning?

Currently Digging: The Avengers, Alabama Shakes, overcoming myself.

Hey all,

I hope this finds you well and good and loving life.

I've been trying to squeeze an hour a day for nothing but work on my novel, which is going slowly. This story is so much fun to write! I think if I could get a day off free and clear, a day when I felt safe ignoring the eight million other things screaming for me to pay attention to them, I could sizzle on it for hours and hours. I love it. I love working on it. I am the first to admit that I always get really excited by new projects, projects that will become work the longer they get. But for now me and the new thing are having our sweet, sweet honeymoon and I am going to let that go just as long as she wants to.

Right now I am reading The Magician King by Lev Grossman, which is very good. Beautiful, brutal, intriguing. At some points its disappointing. Someone tell me why every epic story eventually has to be about the Divinity. When a book I love takes that turn and suddenly its the author wrestling with the God-Idea it makes me sad. Like we, as a culture, always go for the Big Easy Answer. I hope this one comes around and gets past that.

Tonight the missus an I made an incredible salad - she made home-made croutons, I made home made vinaigrette. It was fantastic. We ate and watched Twin Peaks - its our first time and goodness it is great.

I am keeping up with my exercise better than I have in months. I suppose I always follow my simple pattern: in the Winter I get fat and lazy, and just want to eat Christmas Cookies and curl up on the couch, in Spring I suddenly feel awful and start eating well and lifting weights and running, by the end of Summer I am finally in shape again and then . . . well, its Autumn, and its time for my birthday, and Thanksgiving, and Halloween candy, so who can blame me for skipping a few workouts and indulging in some seriously yummy food?

And that's my year.

I just started reading The French Lieutenants Woman. Best book I have picked up in a while. French Lieutenant's Woman is my just-before-bed book, I'm doing The Magician King in the car on audiobook. In the car I have my special back up book, The Big Bounce.

Anyway, y'all be well and have a great night.

yours,

ph

Taoist Thought of the Day: If you must have a philosophy, let it be kindness.

Pet Report: Vindaloo woke me up the other night by vomiting in bed. Lovely. It woke me up at two in the morning. By the time I had cleaned everything up I was wide awake, and it took me two hours to get back to sleep.

Currently Digging: DIY in the kitchen, Azealia Banks, Self-Actualization, Newton's Folly, hummus for breakfast,

Hey SG folks,

I hope this finds you well and good and enjoying your bit of the world.

II am watching Martha Marcy May Marline - its got me freaked out. Anyone know anyone who ever escaped from a cult? The very idea of someone who preys on the emotionally frail stresses me out and makes me want to hurt somebody.

Not much else to say tonight. Hope you are well.

take it light,

ph

Taoist thought of the day: Be gentle with your friends, and enemies, and strangers. Maybe especially strangers.

Pet Report: Tonight as an experiment I held Vindaloo like a baby, cooing at her and saying rhymes. She put up with it for almost five minutes, rolling her head back to see what was going on, the whole world upside down. Bacchus sleeps alot these days, which is great. He's a 15 year old dog who still likes to play sometimes. But mostly he likes to sleep.

Currently digging: Esperanza Spalding, Black Bean Super Nachos, The Magicians (car audio book), Tunnel In The Sky (bed book), hummus. Especially hummus. I've been eating so much hummus that I may be a danger to the world's supply.

VOTE FOR WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT!!

Hey SG Folks,

I hope this finds you well and good and loving life.

I am a little pissed off, a little sad, a little over it all. I have an account on one of the big mainstream social media sites - you probably do too, we might even know each other in real life. Whatever.

My ex - my ex fiance, in fact - just sent me the lamest internet "come on" ever of life.

She puts this post up - oh, I had a dream about you, it made me want to write a song. Then she gave me some lyrics, all old time references and in jokes and miss you and want you back subtext. It was just short of passing the point where she could plausibly deny that this is an attempt to rekindle some old bullshit. That's how she rolls, she is a master of this kind of bullshit.

She's got some fucking nerve. I'm married, three years now. And happily married, come to that. And she pulls some high school moony-eyed bullshit like this. It aggravates me no end.

I want to shake her and say, "Hey, we are both 42 years old. This isn't how adults act."

I should mention that she fucked around on me at least twice while we were together. I should mention that she devours people, attaches and soaks them for everything she can get out of them. I should mention that once her sister and I had a conversation RE whether or not she could be a sociopath. She is the id, she want's what she wants and doesn't mind trampling a few folks to get what she wants.

Anyway, I wanted to get that out.

VOTE in the comments: what should I do next? What I will NOT do: any passive-aggressive bullshit like bitching to her friends or putting a public post up about it What I will consider doing: ignoring it, telling her off (likely alienating all of my friends on that side of the world when she spins it like she was all innocent and I jumped to conclusions, but what are you gonna do), trying to talk to her about why that sort of behavior was never acceptable, but absolutely isn't acceptable given our ages and situations.

Otherwise things are on the cusp of okay and crappy. The missus is sick, has been sick all week. Since she had her thyroid out it seems like she is sick most of the time. This is a drag. I am considering joining one of those support groups for caretakers - I think that learning some coping strategies would be good for both of us.

That's it, I'm out. Love!

be well,

ph

Taoist Thought Of the Day: Hey! YOU! Get offa my TAO!

Pet Report: Bacchus is doing amazingly well these days, energetic and bright eyed and having fun. I can't really get him to play chase for more than a minute but its much better than he was doing a few weeks ago. Vindaloo is in one of her sweet phases, and if I lay down in bed she is attached to me and will not go away.

Currently Digging: Black Sabbath, Twin Peaks, home made granola, running, My Fucking Marriage, My Fucking Wife.