My days are consumed with homework and lots of Frank Sinatra movies <3
My winter class is almost over and spring semester will begin. I can hardly wait for my fashion class <3<3

I've been a tid tad better since his passing. I still dream about him a lot. Especially this week Since on the 20th was 3 months since he's passed then yesterday was my brothers birthday (he's been missing for almost 3years now) and tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary since my brother from another mother passed away. My head is barely above water. I have to keep reminding myself that someday this will all be a distant memory. When I feel like giving up I remember that I have come so far for them. I can only hope that wherever they may be watching me from; I'm making them proud :'D




On a different note I have realized I have a shit load of clothes. I'm thinking about donating it. Anyone know of any good organization cuz salvation army is bootleg !!!!

Oh oh and I've transitioned from vegetarian to vegan! All I can say is
IT'S FUCKEN INTENSE !!!!!! But still very delicious. I do miss dairy though :"(
I realized that I'm lactose intolerant once I quit dairy and had a relapse lol
But now I'm back on track.



Anywho
Back to homework and Frank Sinatra.
Ciao!

Today is the last day I will waste away being hungover
I start a detox diet tomorrow.

I feel pathetic drinking nowadays
I'm not in the right state of mind
So every time I get drunk I end up crying cuz I miss my step dad so much.
No one likes a crying drunk.



Goodbye alcohol
We had a good run
:')

Today is my birthday and I get one every year

i prayed for the first time in years during the month of oct.
i prayed for my step dad to recover.
i prayed that he would pull through to share one more smile.


he spent 3 months in the hospital. he was finally released on Oct. 4th
i was so happy. i believed all those prayers really worked.
i cooked for him i brought him stories and laughs.
i thought he was only going to get better.
so i started my new job worry free.



i finally got a day off so i went to go visit him. no one was home. i didnt make anything of it. cuz i knew he had a lot of doctors appointments.



then on oct. 20th i get a call from an old co-worker.
"are you sitting down?"
"yes....."
"Abbey passed away this morning"


everything turned black after that. i was at work prisoner to four walls. i couldnt breathe and i couldnt speak.

my dad was gone, he was really gone.


i went to go see him in the bed where he laid resting. his brothers played all his favorite music for him. they paid the coroner extra money just to keep him overnight. the last song they played for him before they took his body was a song he would always tell me he wanted to pass on with


he was so cold. he was sucked dry. he stiff. he was gone.



he aint ever coming back, but every night he creeps into my dreams. there hasnt been a night that i dont dream about him. not just at night its every time i sleep, nap ect.

i miss him so much and its killing me to know that i will never hold him again. i will never see the only man who was a father to me.


















R.I.P Papito Lindo
te amo hoy y siempre.

unemployed.

Let's have an evil night together

My life has been a little messy these past few weeks.

I need to sit down and fkn organize myself.
Even the simplest of tasks like returnig my netflix dvd is a burden (I have not even sat down to watch it)
My bills are overdue. My sex life is overdue.
I feel overdue.

Need to go apt. hunting, and look for a new roomie.
Blah, the burden of being a 21 year old lol.


R.I.P Amy Winehouse. U didn't die, you escaped :*

I seriously need to get laid !!!! SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED !!!!!!!!
I'll fuck anything that walks right about now lol


on another note:

I finally got a gym membership
I quit smoking
and i gained six pounds (still unsure of how to feel about this)