This morning, as I was taking a shower, something popped into my mind:
There was a time where nothing existed.
Let that simmer in your brain for a second. I’ll wait.



Okay. Is your mind completely exhausted from you trying to wrap it around that concept? Mine sure is.

The notion of NOTHING existing for any period of time (oh, fuck, time didn’t exist either WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING TO MY BRAIN?!?) is, hands down, the craziest thing I can seriously think of, with a close second going to the idea that something has ALWAYS existed. We don’t know where the universe came from, we only speculate a sort of big bang, which I’m sure you’ve heard of. What we can’t even begin to pretend we know is what was around before that. Was all matter simply in a gigantic immeasurable ball for an immeasurable amount of time? Did time itself exist before then? Or perhaps the ball of matter was the result of a previous ‘big crunch,’ which is part of an endless cycle that has been happening for eternity.

Eternity is another idea that makes my head want to explode. If this cycle keeps happening, that means that there have been countless universes before this one, all completely destroyed for no reason other than physics (which has its own set of questions in my mind, but I’ll get to that later). Was there life in those universes, or is it some completely alien concept unique to this incarnation of existence as we know it, or even unique to this planet?

Thinking about life existing in this universe led me to another string of painful questions: With the universe going on, doing its own thing, where does life fit in? If life is simply an accidental combination of amino acids and electricity at the right time under the right conditions, and from then on out its only goal is to continue its existence through reproduction and long-term evolution, what is the point when all life in the entire universe is eventually going to die? Some day either all matter will stop moving...

This morning, as I was taking a shower, something popped into my mind:
There was a time where nothing existed.
Let that simmer in your brain for a second. I’ll wait.



Okay. Is your mind completely exhausted from you trying to wrap it around that concept? Mine sure is.

The notion of NOTHING existing for any period of time (oh, fuck, time didn’t exist either WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING TO MY BRAIN?!?) is, hands down, the craziest thing I can seriously think of, with a close second going to the idea that something has ALWAYS existed. We don’t know where the universe came from, we only speculate a sort of big bang, which I’m sure you’ve heard of. What we can’t even begin to pretend we know is what was around before that. Was all matter simply in a gigantic immeasurable ball for an immeasurable amount of time? Did time itself exist before then? Or perhaps the ball of matter was the result of a previous ‘big crunch,’ which is part of an endless cycle that has been happening for eternity.

Eternity is another idea that makes my head want to explode. If this cycle keeps happening, that means that there have been countless universes before this one, all completely destroyed for no reason other than physics (which has its own set of questions in my mind, but I’ll get to that later). Was there life in those universes, or is it some completely alien concept unique to this incarnation of existence as we know it, or even unique to this planet?

Thinking about life existing in this universe led me to another string of painful questions: With the universe going on, doing its own thing, where does life fit in? If life is simply an accidental combination of amino acids and electricity at the right time under the right conditions, and from then on out its only goal is to continue its existence through reproduction and long-term evolution, what is the point when all life in the entire universe is eventually going to die? Some day either all matter will stop moving for the rest of eternity due to every bit of energy being spent or the universe will collapse back upon itself and reform a gigantic ball of matter once more. If the former is true, then existence is simply a one-time thing in ETERNITY. I can’t type in enough capital letters to stress how fucking crazy that is. I’m willing to accept that there is no reason or purpose for human life on Earth other than the need for life itself to reproduce which is written into our DNA. What I can’t seem to grasp is what the meaning of simply EXISTING is supposed to be. Why have this concept of being when it is destined to some day not be, and has only been for a definite amount of time? And why have time? Where did it come from? And why do physics do what they do? It must have come from somewhere. What made it decide to start doing what it does once that ball of matter exploded and created the universe?


Not being able to accept the notion of a Creator really pisses me off sometimes. Things would be so much easier. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I have to listen to music as I drift off to sleep. Otherwise, I'd never get there.