my abdomen feels like it's on fire, and it has all day. i really should see a doctor but i don't have the money nor do i have insurance. why can't i live in britain where all people are guaranteed a doctor by the state?
inspiration has struck so i must be off, but i leave you with a poem that was written in the span of four days - the first two lines came to me as i lay to sleep one night.... maybe you can help me with a title for it.....
(UNTITLED)
by Gustuf Young
Another heart is failing
in the kingdom of the dead -
minds gone stone, oblivious -
a trail of feeble bodies.
A sudden mist most poisonous
is riding on the air,
the emptiness so serious
is humming in dead ears.
Silent buildings reminesce
of days whence their halls pulsed -
their memories in solid states -
the useless tools of Man.
Grasslands weep with dust, despair, some
depressed pollens clouding -
a thoughtless fog is spreading
in this world made cemetary.
Metal corpses lie about
with no will left to run,
their lifes used up in exhaust fumes -
their masters dead and gone.
Heavens black with sediment,
clouds of volcanic glass -
the sky like crude upon the tide,
a serpent film now soaring.
A few hungry survivors
spout groans within the sigh,
the death rattle of Earth and
the comfortless cold breeze.
So now they roam the freeways, and
the former gates to cities,
now littered with the fleeting -
those who failed in their departure.
Deep and subterreanean,
the catacombs of sewers -
are filled with those in darkness
who shall live beyond the ending.
The roaches, rats will surface
and will feast upon our ruin -
perhaps in ages they will
learn to rise above their crawling.
Lost deep within the color gray,
a million years of culture -
merchandise now fossilized
under an ashen banner.
The trees now weep with leaves
decayed, their arms gone black with torment,
yet seeds in falling wait patient
for graveyard rains fulfilling.
With all humans eradicated,
there is now space left open -
blank slates of opportunity
in once almighty concrete.
Those black cracks along the path
may yet grow weeds again.
And ferns once more will rule the Earth,
their oppressors defeated.
Another heart is failing
in the kingdom of the dead -
a mass extinction making way
for life less disrespectful.
inspiration has struck so i must be off, but i leave you with a poem that was written in the span of four days - the first two lines came to me as i lay to sleep one night.... maybe you can help me with a title for it.....
(UNTITLED)
by Gustuf Young
Another heart is failing
in the kingdom of the dead -
minds gone stone, oblivious -
a trail of feeble bodies.
A sudden mist most poisonous
is riding on the air,
the emptiness so serious
is humming in dead ears.
Silent buildings reminesce
of days whence their halls pulsed -
their memories in solid states -
the useless tools of Man.
Grasslands weep with dust, despair, some
depressed pollens clouding -
a thoughtless fog is spreading
in this world made cemetary.
Metal corpses lie about
with no will left to run,
their lifes used up in exhaust fumes -
their masters dead and gone.
Heavens black with sediment,
clouds of volcanic glass -
the sky like crude upon the tide,
a serpent film now soaring.
A few hungry survivors
spout groans within the sigh,
the death rattle of Earth and
the comfortless cold breeze.
So now they roam the freeways, and
the former gates to cities,
now littered with the fleeting -
those who failed in their departure.
Deep and subterreanean,
the catacombs of sewers -
are filled with those in darkness
who shall live beyond the ending.
The roaches, rats will surface
and will feast upon our ruin -
perhaps in ages they will
learn to rise above their crawling.
Lost deep within the color gray,
a million years of culture -
merchandise now fossilized
under an ashen banner.
The trees now weep with leaves
decayed, their arms gone black with torment,
yet seeds in falling wait patient
for graveyard rains fulfilling.
With all humans eradicated,
there is now space left open -
blank slates of opportunity
in once almighty concrete.
Those black cracks along the path
may yet grow weeds again.
And ferns once more will rule the Earth,
their oppressors defeated.
Another heart is failing
in the kingdom of the dead -
a mass extinction making way
for life less disrespectful.
Well, not much going on lately, but here's the jist of it.
1) Finally finished the annotated bibliography for English, it ended up being about 10 pages long.
2) I have a geology essay due on the Permian mass extinction, though that should be easy.
3) I am finally reading Dark Tower, Book VII after putting it off for months. Hooray!
4) I have not had a cigarette in over three weeks. Huzzah! This is the second time I have successfully quit smoking, cold turkey.
That's about it, though I have posted some new poetry here and if you'd like to read, fine. If not, that's fine too. I haven't written any music lately, but I've written around 10 to 15 poems within the past week or so.
Here you are - you all have a nice day.
"The Hunter"
A fool am I
for questing -
for I am lion prowling
through the bush -
my mane flowing
and nose to the earth.
I seek the lioness.
for I am hawk floating
in the drifts -
my eyes sharp
like samurai steel.
I seek the lone hens.
for I am drone humming
in the hive -
I bring sweet honey
through a thousand suitors.
I want my queen.
for I am last dragon
deep in cave -
my species dead
and misunderstood.
A beast am I.
____________
"Metal Made Man"
State-of-the-art,
with circuitry
bloodstreams
and motherboard
muscles -
she built him in the image
of her father.
His hands hydraulic
yet graceful
with their build,
like leaps of gazelles
in their motion.
Chrome garments
durable -
like a gastropod.
He stands seven feet
tall, titanic.
New technology.
The latest
advancement.
No machine
surpasses he,
the cyborg God.
And yet,
what does he know -
outside of science,
mathematics?
What is his heart?
An engine with
a rumbling pulse,
his blood black
with combustible wealth.
What is his mind?
A series of
operations,
processes cryptic
in binary scripture.
Blips of consciousness.
For her resolve,
he was created.
A robotic barter
for a writ
of status.
A walking, talking essay.
What is his function?
A magnet for eyes,
a curiosity?
An Elephant Man in metal?
Why make
a mind not
conscious?
He only sees
the shapes -
the motions -
the shells.
1) Finally finished the annotated bibliography for English, it ended up being about 10 pages long.
2) I have a geology essay due on the Permian mass extinction, though that should be easy.
3) I am finally reading Dark Tower, Book VII after putting it off for months. Hooray!
4) I have not had a cigarette in over three weeks. Huzzah! This is the second time I have successfully quit smoking, cold turkey.
That's about it, though I have posted some new poetry here and if you'd like to read, fine. If not, that's fine too. I haven't written any music lately, but I've written around 10 to 15 poems within the past week or so.
Here you are - you all have a nice day.
"The Hunter"
A fool am I
for questing -
for I am lion prowling
through the bush -
my mane flowing
and nose to the earth.
I seek the lioness.
for I am hawk floating
in the drifts -
my eyes sharp
like samurai steel.
I seek the lone hens.
for I am drone humming
in the hive -
I bring sweet honey
through a thousand suitors.
I want my queen.
for I am last dragon
deep in cave -
my species dead
and misunderstood.
A beast am I.
____________
"Metal Made Man"
State-of-the-art,
with circuitry
bloodstreams
and motherboard
muscles -
she built him in the image
of her father.
His hands hydraulic
yet graceful
with their build,
like leaps of gazelles
in their motion.
Chrome garments
durable -
like a gastropod.
He stands seven feet
tall, titanic.
New technology.
The latest
advancement.
No machine
surpasses he,
the cyborg God.
And yet,
what does he know -
outside of science,
mathematics?
What is his heart?
An engine with
a rumbling pulse,
his blood black
with combustible wealth.
What is his mind?
A series of
operations,
processes cryptic
in binary scripture.
Blips of consciousness.
For her resolve,
he was created.
A robotic barter
for a writ
of status.
A walking, talking essay.
What is his function?
A magnet for eyes,
a curiosity?
An Elephant Man in metal?
Why make
a mind not
conscious?
He only sees
the shapes -
the motions -
the shells.
Things I would like to do before I die:
1) Have a music career. (not mainstream, necessarily)
2) Publish a volume of poetry.
3) Start a record label.
4) Find a soulmate.
5) Get my Master's Degree in English.
6) Influence someone's music.
7) Get my own place.
8) Become a teacher.
9) Go back in time and fight alongside Genghis Khan.
10) Fall asleep so I may die peacefully in sleep.
Things I would like RIGHT NOW:
1) Woman
2) Food
3) Money
4) Entertainment
5) Motivation
6) Inspiration
7) Sex
8) A better job
9) A shower (which i will take right now)
No specific order here.
1) Have a music career. (not mainstream, necessarily)
2) Publish a volume of poetry.
3) Start a record label.
4) Find a soulmate.
5) Get my Master's Degree in English.
6) Influence someone's music.
7) Get my own place.
8) Become a teacher.
9) Go back in time and fight alongside Genghis Khan.
10) Fall asleep so I may die peacefully in sleep.
Things I would like RIGHT NOW:
1) Woman
2) Food
3) Money
4) Entertainment
5) Motivation
6) Inspiration
7) Sex
8) A better job
9) A shower (which i will take right now)
No specific order here.
Well, I've been overwhelmed with school lately. I have an annotated bibliography coming up, as well as two geology tests and a paper on the permian mass extinction, and i have a music presentation due in about 30 minutes on electronic music.
some girl has been insistent on me hanging out with her lately - she has a kid, so it makes me think she has too much on her plate already, but i'm so damn tempted to make a move. i hate forcing myself to be single, but it MUST be. I've only gotten confused and sad by pursuing relationships, so I'm waiting for them to come to me.
The only problem is, the people who have come to me are people I am not interested in - *sigh* The type of girls I really dig are the types of girls who get sick of me very quickly. So, it's time for something new.
I'd post a poem here but no one paid any attention to it last time, so I just put up a new song called Sleep Terror. If you want, take a listen. I'm going towards a more ambient, industrial sound. Hope you enjoy it.
Thanks to all who read this incredibly boring entry.
some girl has been insistent on me hanging out with her lately - she has a kid, so it makes me think she has too much on her plate already, but i'm so damn tempted to make a move. i hate forcing myself to be single, but it MUST be. I've only gotten confused and sad by pursuing relationships, so I'm waiting for them to come to me.
The only problem is, the people who have come to me are people I am not interested in - *sigh* The type of girls I really dig are the types of girls who get sick of me very quickly. So, it's time for something new.
I'd post a poem here but no one paid any attention to it last time, so I just put up a new song called Sleep Terror. If you want, take a listen. I'm going towards a more ambient, industrial sound. Hope you enjoy it.
Thanks to all who read this incredibly boring entry.
Alright, time for an update.
First off, please listen to my new song if you have the time - it's called
Things are much better lately, people seem to be really digging my music. Been doing a lot of collaborating.Mr. Fucking Elusive. The name was given by a friend; that's how he says I've been lately.
I made some new friends latey - some cheerful lesbians who sit at a smoker's table at school, so I smoke with them. They complimented my poetry and one of them today told me "You have a good heart - I can see it in your eyes." You know, it's much easier to believe that coming from a lesbian's mouth, since she's not trying to get into my pants or my pocketbook.
A friend from Illinois might be visiting me soon. Which makes me happy, because while I've never met her she really interests me and even makes time to talk to me everyday. And she seems pretty set on coming down to see me someday. So, hopefully I'll get to meet her, because she's quickly becoming a close friend. She even rearranged my MySpace page, so now it's not boring - hooray!
I'm writing a lot lately, and I recently wrote a poem to vent feelings of mass horniness:
Writhing
by Gustuf Young
(Copyright 2006)
Imagine, I -
rapid my writhe,
suspended on the vibrato
coming vocal from your throat.
Imagine, I -
my scepter high,
ruling the full empire of
your rouged and milky fields.
Imagine, you -
your trembling dunes,
drifting with the heat and huff
of grappling digits tense.
Imagine, you -
your gathering dew,
condensating circular,
a salivating pink.
Imagine, us -
with wrestling cusp,
our masses melting into an
alliance of the limbs.
Imagine, us -
Imagine! Us -
to the sun and stars,
oblivious.
First off, please listen to my new song if you have the time - it's called
Things are much better lately, people seem to be really digging my music. Been doing a lot of collaborating.Mr. Fucking Elusive. The name was given by a friend; that's how he says I've been lately.
I made some new friends latey - some cheerful lesbians who sit at a smoker's table at school, so I smoke with them. They complimented my poetry and one of them today told me "You have a good heart - I can see it in your eyes." You know, it's much easier to believe that coming from a lesbian's mouth, since she's not trying to get into my pants or my pocketbook.
A friend from Illinois might be visiting me soon. Which makes me happy, because while I've never met her she really interests me and even makes time to talk to me everyday. And she seems pretty set on coming down to see me someday. So, hopefully I'll get to meet her, because she's quickly becoming a close friend. She even rearranged my MySpace page, so now it's not boring - hooray!
I'm writing a lot lately, and I recently wrote a poem to vent feelings of mass horniness:
Writhing
by Gustuf Young
(Copyright 2006)
Imagine, I -
rapid my writhe,
suspended on the vibrato
coming vocal from your throat.
Imagine, I -
my scepter high,
ruling the full empire of
your rouged and milky fields.
Imagine, you -
your trembling dunes,
drifting with the heat and huff
of grappling digits tense.
Imagine, you -
your gathering dew,
condensating circular,
a salivating pink.
Imagine, us -
with wrestling cusp,
our masses melting into an
alliance of the limbs.
Imagine, us -
Imagine! Us -
to the sun and stars,
oblivious.
well, i've been coping with excessive amounts of boredom lately, trying to write music but lately I've hit my usual writer's block.
My English teacher must really like me, she personally asked me for an essay from my last English class so they would have some filler for a space in the upcoming literary magazine. So obviously, I did it.
Apparently I'm great at English, and I must be a skilled writer because my current teacher informed me that I had the toughest grader on campus last semester, and that she RAVED about how great I was.
I was so bored and lonely the other day that I ended up sleeping for three hours, and then I was up until 4pm writing a new song and playing Genghis Khan 2 for Genesis. I slept until 2:30pm and missed class - I hate wasting days sleeping.
I've been so bad with money - I had to sell more of my stuff today just so I can have money for everyday things (cigarettes, food, gas, etc.) and gas is costing $2.45 a gallon here now for REGULAR unleaded.
i've just been stressed out, and paranoid about people. I'm trying to stay alone at the moment (relationship-wise anyways) and now some girl keeps dropping hints to me that she'd like to date me. And I really don't want to date her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings either, but it would hurt her worse if I just jumped into a relationship for the sake of not being alone.
however, an online friend may visit me eventually, which makes me happy because she lives so far away and yet we talk to each other more than we talk to our actual friends. however, she is young, and young minds are fickle. then again, maybe i'm just being paranoid.
i have a new song up on MySpace called Homicidal Borg that's gotten a lot of plays lately, almost 200 in two weeks. It's nice to have a fan base now. Speed Limit is doing well too - I wrote that for a girl who ended up having no interest in me whatsoever besides friendship. And of course, everyone likes my Legend of Zelda remix.
Anyways, everything could be better, but could also be a whole lot worse.
My English teacher must really like me, she personally asked me for an essay from my last English class so they would have some filler for a space in the upcoming literary magazine. So obviously, I did it.
Apparently I'm great at English, and I must be a skilled writer because my current teacher informed me that I had the toughest grader on campus last semester, and that she RAVED about how great I was.
I was so bored and lonely the other day that I ended up sleeping for three hours, and then I was up until 4pm writing a new song and playing Genghis Khan 2 for Genesis. I slept until 2:30pm and missed class - I hate wasting days sleeping.
I've been so bad with money - I had to sell more of my stuff today just so I can have money for everyday things (cigarettes, food, gas, etc.) and gas is costing $2.45 a gallon here now for REGULAR unleaded.
i've just been stressed out, and paranoid about people. I'm trying to stay alone at the moment (relationship-wise anyways) and now some girl keeps dropping hints to me that she'd like to date me. And I really don't want to date her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings either, but it would hurt her worse if I just jumped into a relationship for the sake of not being alone.
however, an online friend may visit me eventually, which makes me happy because she lives so far away and yet we talk to each other more than we talk to our actual friends. however, she is young, and young minds are fickle. then again, maybe i'm just being paranoid.
i have a new song up on MySpace called Homicidal Borg that's gotten a lot of plays lately, almost 200 in two weeks. It's nice to have a fan base now. Speed Limit is doing well too - I wrote that for a girl who ended up having no interest in me whatsoever besides friendship. And of course, everyone likes my Legend of Zelda remix.
Anyways, everything could be better, but could also be a whole lot worse.
Well, I'm back. Miss me?
I was gone for a long time, and I thought about leaving but came back for whatever reason. I've been through a lot in the past few months.
I was involved with a girl who was "polyamorous," which meant she was in love with many people at once, including me, and was intimate with most of them. of course, i let it slide because i had cared about her for so long. we tried being friends, and that didn't work either. it ended up exploding and we don't even talk to each other anymore. it really hurt. the same day our friendship ended, i was dumped by a girl. and now i learn that this aforementioned girl had no deserve for committment.
i've decided to just be myself for a while, because it's better that way. i've been pursuing people for a long time, and i need to quit that. i keep looking, and i keep finding the same things because that's what i expect. if i stop looking though, everything will find me.
i missed this place, though i don't know if anyone remembers me.
i'm putting some new pictures up, and if anyone uses AIM, feel free to message me: theoddioblender
thanks, and it's good to be back.
I was gone for a long time, and I thought about leaving but came back for whatever reason. I've been through a lot in the past few months.
I was involved with a girl who was "polyamorous," which meant she was in love with many people at once, including me, and was intimate with most of them. of course, i let it slide because i had cared about her for so long. we tried being friends, and that didn't work either. it ended up exploding and we don't even talk to each other anymore. it really hurt. the same day our friendship ended, i was dumped by a girl. and now i learn that this aforementioned girl had no deserve for committment.
i've decided to just be myself for a while, because it's better that way. i've been pursuing people for a long time, and i need to quit that. i keep looking, and i keep finding the same things because that's what i expect. if i stop looking though, everything will find me.
i missed this place, though i don't know if anyone remembers me.
i'm putting some new pictures up, and if anyone uses AIM, feel free to message me: theoddioblender
thanks, and it's good to be back.
