well, to be honest the last few days have been interesting all with a stomach ache that lasted a day, ghetto bowling where we had to practically set up the pins ourselves, and we were lucky if the balls came back, all with some very interesting conversations that have made me do alot of thinking about the position in life that I am in. here is my position: I am a 23 year old chef who does not make the money I am worth, I have a little bit of college and play the drums. I live with my stepfather while my mother works in Germany and my brothers are in school and the army. I have no license (dui) and a world of life experience under my belt. Work seems to be a never ending stress ball and I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half because I was moving on and she annoyed me with her problems, mostly I fell out of love with her. I mean I love her, and still care about her but I am not "IN" love with her. I currently have another interest which is like no other. Magic I like to call it, and she is with someone else, she knows she should be with me and I know it as well, but hey she is comfortable so why bother. I am smoking way too many cigarettes and staying up way too late. energy lever has been low and interest in other people's lives has been nil. It is hard to leave the house. Not to mention that it is fucking cold out and walking anywhere would require 7 layers. There are a few people who i am interested in connecting with and have known them for severl years, but I work this lovely night shift and we are all on opposite hours....sooo..... that leaves me will sitting here staring at the computer screen and playing mmofps's and jerking off to porn big surprise right? how else am I going to let my frustrations out. I just feel like I am not moving a week lasts a month and a month lasts a year and they are both gone equally as fast. I am tired i am going to play some games and maybe take a hist it the mood strikes. I need some people to talk...

well, to be honest the last few days have been interesting all with a stomach ache that lasted a day, ghetto bowling where we had to practically set up the pins ourselves, and we were lucky if the balls came back, all with some very interesting conversations that have made me do alot of thinking about the position in life that I am in. here is my position: I am a 23 year old chef who does not make the money I am worth, I have a little bit of college and play the drums. I live with my stepfather while my mother works in Germany and my brothers are in school and the army. I have no license (dui) and a world of life experience under my belt. Work seems to be a never ending stress ball and I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half because I was moving on and she annoyed me with her problems, mostly I fell out of love with her. I mean I love her, and still care about her but I am not "IN" love with her. I currently have another interest which is like no other. Magic I like to call it, and she is with someone else, she knows she should be with me and I know it as well, but hey she is comfortable so why bother. I am smoking way too many cigarettes and staying up way too late. energy lever has been low and interest in other people's lives has been nil. It is hard to leave the house. Not to mention that it is fucking cold out and walking anywhere would require 7 layers. There are a few people who i am interested in connecting with and have known them for severl years, but I work this lovely night shift and we are all on opposite hours....sooo..... that leaves me will sitting here staring at the computer screen and playing mmofps's and jerking off to porn big surprise right? how else am I going to let my frustrations out. I just feel like I am not moving a week lasts a month and a month lasts a year and they are both gone equally as fast. I am tired i am going to play some games and maybe take a hist it the mood strikes. I need some people to talk to on here, I need a distraction, come find me, smack me inthe face, do something. peace bitches.