Ok so I admit it. I don't have a couch. I've been in my new apartment thing for like 18 straight days and still I have not purchased a real seating device of any kind. I have purchased tons of picture frames and a hammer though. My plan is to take pictures of random couches throughout the country. Then I'll hang those pictures up with my *new* hammer and my *new* frames right where my couch would go if I had one. Just maybe that will make up for my lack of couchness.....just maybe mind you. I didn't realize how bad this couch dilemma was going to be in my life. It's a problem that's been haunting me all week I think. I blame the lack of good will stores in new jersey and the super bad job of couch stocking the salvation army is doing these days. Actually I'm pretty confident they do get a fair amount of seating apparatus but there's some random ebay power sellers probably snatching them up and making like a 72 percent profit on them..........bastards. The actual point I'm trying to make here is this. If you come to visit me expect a much uncomfortable visit that involves sitting on some really terrible padded folding chair and/or having fun with the carpet and some pillows. If it makes you feel any better I'm addicted to vacuuming so you can be rest assured your carpet moments will be quite pleasant. I try to keep my carpet as clean as the law let's me.

I've convinced six people and a small dog to see what's inside a metal briefcase that just happens to be in Iowa. An additional person can't make it because of scheduling conflicts. Another person I had to convince not to come for his own good and he was going to bring his girlfriend. A seventh person is rumoured to take the trip but not be in the van, just kind of drive along side of the van. He's scared of the whole truth I think. So that's a total of ten and a half people that are willing to travel cross country to the sioux city state...

Ok so I admit it. I don't have a couch. I've been in my new apartment thing for like 18 straight days and still I have not purchased a real seating device of any kind. I have purchased tons of picture frames and a hammer though. My plan is to take pictures of random couches throughout the country. Then I'll hang those pictures up with my *new* hammer and my *new* frames right where my couch would go if I had one. Just maybe that will make up for my lack of couchness.....just maybe mind you. I didn't realize how bad this couch dilemma was going to be in my life. It's a problem that's been haunting me all week I think. I blame the lack of good will stores in new jersey and the super bad job of couch stocking the salvation army is doing these days. Actually I'm pretty confident they do get a fair amount of seating apparatus but there's some random ebay power sellers probably snatching them up and making like a 72 percent profit on them..........bastards. The actual point I'm trying to make here is this. If you come to visit me expect a much uncomfortable visit that involves sitting on some really terrible padded folding chair and/or having fun with the carpet and some pillows. If it makes you feel any better I'm addicted to vacuuming so you can be rest assured your carpet moments will be quite pleasant. I try to keep my carpet as clean as the law let's me.

I've convinced six people and a small dog to see what's inside a metal briefcase that just happens to be in Iowa. An additional person can't make it because of scheduling conflicts. Another person I had to convince not to come for his own good and he was going to bring his girlfriend. A seventh person is rumoured to take the trip but not be in the van, just kind of drive along side of the van. He's scared of the whole truth I think. So that's a total of ten and a half people that are willing to travel cross country to the sioux city state with me. I call it that because I've always wanted to use sioux city in some form of communication in my life. This might be my last chance and all. Actually I don't think it's fair to count the dog as a half person because I'm pretty sure it qualifies for some animal tally and that could totally screw up some census situation somewhere. Not to mention I'm not sure the logistics of bringing a dog in a rental van. So many complications so little time to deal with them. How would kerouac deal with all this? Probably by writing a really really really bad book about it. Hate that guy.