I am happy! This last few weeks have been great! (Mostly). I haven't written anything here in a while, and least of all, something good! So what a treat. You will get to see a new side of me. My normal, happy self!
Today, I am having my first chilled out Friday night in a few weeks! I can't really remember the last time I simply came home from work, cooked some food, and chilled out, after 5 fucking days working my arse off on the construction site. Jesus! It feels great. I have made a Thai red curry, watched a bit of How I Met Your Mother, and had a 45 minute bath. I am drinking a quiet beer to myself, and tomorrow morning I will talk to my family on Skype!
So! Let's re-cap! Where have I been? Well, I can't remember much before I left for Germany last month! I went to see my best friend, from high school, who sadly, has to go back to Australia, because his long time girlfriend, and my friend now too, has gotten very ill and had to go home to her family to get well. Speaking to German doctors and trying to get the right help was very hard, and being so far from home got to her, also she is really unwell and won't tell me what is wrong, (yet). She had already gone by the time I arrived, but Neil and I had a great week anyway, catching up. I had not seen him since NYE. We partied hearty, went clubbing, took some acid one random afternoon, and took a long time to get some weed, which should have been really simple! But took a long time. Then I got a migraine 3 days in a row, in the evening. Which sucked. Having a migraine while tripping is not highly recommended. Then Neil had to work for 2 days, while I sat on my arse virtually the entire day, although I did clean his flat a bit for the real estate. That's what friends are for! Then on Friday we both got our asses tattooed! How random that was. I posted the photo, earlier. Saturday was the big going away do for him, and I got so ridiculously drunk, that I vomited all the way home the next day, on the way to the airport, at the airport, and on the plane. I even vomited on the shuttle bus from the gate to the plane. Lucky I was carrying a couple of plastic bags! Not my shiniest moment!!
We will skip the work weeks because that's boring. Next Friday I did a stand up comedy gig, just another 5 minute open mic spot, and it went pretty well! I am not complaining. But a girl got hysterical laughter from near everyone in the room, which made me very jealous! I am so hard to please. I was really happy for her though.. That Saturday, I Skyped mum and brother, like I am doing tomorrow. Afterwards, I ate a piece of acid that I bought in Germany. I bought 10 pieces actually. And I fucking tripped out all fucking afternoon in my room. Too intimidated by the outside world to consider leaving! I was going to attend another comedy night. But I didn't really have any good friends there, and I wasn't in the mood to mingle! I can't believe I have taken that drug at festivals! Actually, yes, I remember now, I was still quite intimidated to talk to people. People who aren't my friends that is! Next day, I went on the first date I have been on since I left Australia! Since like, July of 2015! Sad, if you don't think about all the girls I have met and kissed while I was backpacking!. True, I don't get very much sex at all. I am really quite inept at getting girls in the sack. But other times, they have decided to be the good girl in spite of being dripping wet. Fuck my life! Anyway, I thought the date went well, she is a comedian too, but I was alone in that thinking. We kissed afterwards, but it was really quite awkward and shit. She didn't want to kiss me, I think. I ended up seeing her again on Tuesday, she was gigging. She was giving me "you don't have to come, really, you don't" (red flag!) But I went anyway. I ended up doing a bit myself, impromptu, and it went really well! Afterwards, I apologised via facebook for being awkward, I tried to kiss her again and she turned her head and gave me the cheek! Red flag number 5 ! lol so she said to me, I am sorry, I am the awkward one. I don't want to lead you on, as I don't know what I want right now. Lead me onto what? Lucie says that weekend. My sparkling best friend, whom I adore. I don't know, Lucie.
That Friday night, I went to a fourth Suicide Girls Ballroom Blitz party in Camden, and had half a tab of acid too! I had the most amazing night. Not as good as the previous one, I must admit. But it was a fucking riot anyway. There was this super hot babe just thrashing everywhere, like she was in her own private circle pit. Fuck she was hot! I died. A lesbian asked me, "is that you girlfriend?" I said "I fucking wish!!" She laughed. I cried! I tried to dance with her, or rocked out next to her, actually, to Psychosocial. But she didn't really notice me. Then later on, a big fat man grabbed her head and kissed her on the mouth, and for a second I thought he was her boyfriend. That's how much I was tripping. I realised, soon after, it was merely an indecent assault. I ended up being a screaming lunatic on the tube again, and made a lady friend, and also a man-friend. I did not get the lady friend's number. I have been there too many times, she will not remember me later. I did fall for it with the bloke though. He gave me his email after I asked. I was making people laugh by doing a Willy Wonka on the boat impression. It was fucking hilarious. I am a comedy genius sometimes.The guy texted me back to day after, and I invited him out this last week, but he told me he ended up breaking his toe. And he is going to Japan. He told me to add him on Facebook. But he never accepted, the bastard! Fooled again, this time by a man! I don't think I did anything on Saturday.. Sunday, I met up with Lucie and waited 2 fucking hours for her to get her hair done. Poor woman, it took 3 hours for her. I had to get the train all the way out to zone fuckin 3, and we ended up turning around and coming straight back. We got lunch and then went to the British Museum. But it was closing before long.
Skip another 5 days, and on Friday, I have gone to the Festival Of Light, by myself, this time eating one and a quarter acid tabs, because an extra half seemed like too much, and a quarter, not enough. Tripper! I had a marvellous time, I did not have any friends again. So that sucked. But it was good to be out on drugs, and feel the full fear of other people! I did manage to talk, but did not manage so well to dance. So many hot women around, and I am very self conscious, because I am on drugs! The lights were amazing, and I found a sparkling toilet, all colours on the walls. It was fucking insane. Did manage to be accepted by a male on the dancefloor, at the last minute. I befriended some women outside smoking, and bent their ears talking about all my tattoos, and they were interested in me, but went back inside, and I was following, but lost them due to stepping on some bitch's foot, and she made a huge fuss, I stopped to apologise, then got stuck outside because so many cunts were coming through the door way, and the four girls were all fucking gone. Forever! Fuck my life again!! So I went down to the floor by myself, and there is some drunk guy who wants to dance with me, but he was really fun, and looked like a friend of mine. Turns out he had a really hot girlfriend too, and she had a hot friend. But we did not dance, we went to get a beer. He wanted to buy me one. What a champ. Found some more women on the way, and he made me dance with them. He was yelling things in their ear, and I could tell he was talking about me. Then they were laughing, I became quite paranoid. I danced with them for a minute, but the guy was standing there staring at me the whole time, and I felt weird. We went back down to the dance floor, and he left me for a minute. Then I started really spinning out, like I was seeing all these familiar faces for a reason, and that was, I was losing touch with reality, or already had. Everything is connected, and I end up finding people who resemble my friends because my existence is existential, I had a crisis, and felt like I was sinking into the floor again. I snapped out of it just in time, and saw Ben talking in some other girl's ear. I said "what are you doing??" He replied "I am having a good time!" And I felt strange about it. Like I had toilet paper on my shoe again. I hung around after the club finished, shortly there, oh. I did dance with a woman then, for about 15 seconds, and Ben started whooping and cheering and clapping, and she left. Thanks! I was thrown off by it, to be honest, and made it awkward. But still. That was his fault. Everyone congratulated me for taking drugs as well, when I admitted I was alone! Afterwards I hug with them all while they waited for Uber. And I told the friend of the girlfriend, how I do comedy, and she added me on Facebook. Sunday afternoon, I wrote her a message about it, and sent her a link to my event. She tagged Ben in it. But has not read the message. Even now! Ben has become my Facebook friend. And he read my message, but did not reply. The people you meet when you are out! jesus
So I had 3 hours sleep in the morning, and then sat around all day, Saturday night I met Lucie for dinner and we went to a comedy club. It was really great. On Sunday we went to another comedy night, of a friend of ours. I am so in love with her, it is not funny again. I want now, to take her back to Australia and marry her. But I don't think she wants to get married again. She would like to go to Australia some time. On Saturday, she told me, she thinks I am a good guy, and it takes women a along time to get to know me, because she says I have many different aspects to my personality. I had to agree, and said my own bit. Secretly thinking "she thinks I am a good guy!" It was a really special moment! I have made every attempt to be with her, and she has declined, nicely. We have remained friends. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met! What do I do next???