some time has passed. i could say that ive been terribly busy, which would not be a lie neccessarily, but i think the real reason for my absence is that ive had alot on my mind but no clear way i wanted to express it.
well, armed with this icecream i feel like writing again. And since it happens to be the elusive friday the 13th, and there is a possibility that there are one or two other people who are not either cowering under the canopy bed in superstition or taking a chance at some hedonistic gothic party, i thought id share an almost supernatural story.
A few days ago i was shaking the pebbles of cat food in the bag to announce dinner time for Kiwi and Swami. and predictably kiwi rounded the corner into the kitchen at a run. but swami didnt, which is weird because she is a little pig and always gets there first. i realised that i hadnt actually seen swami all day. both her and kiwi are very social and affectionate, in fact they usually follow me into whichever room i end up hanging out in. but they also like the cool shadows under my bed for long naps, so i didnt think anything of her absence until she didnt show up at meal time. i went to the bedroom and called her...nothing. what started as playful searching while making fun noises turned into a frantic nightmare when i realised she was not in the house anymore.
normally this would not be cause for concern, but things are different in my new apartment. the building is extremely "secure" to the extent of being alittle anal retentive. i mean, to get home i must open the lobby doors with a key, insert and turn another key to even open the elevator, then turn and hold another key inside the damn elevator as i push the button for my floor, and finally unlock my own apartment door. so you see, unless a human deliberately plotted to let my cat out so that she would be unable to return, swami's disappearance was a mystery, since id been home all day.
the olny explanation was the windows. i live on the 12th floor of a high building, framed at ground level on three sides with a cement parking area. i have 3 walls in my apartment which are primarily floor-to-ceiling windows that slide open, and just outside is a foot-wide ledge that the cats like to perch above the city on. since its wide and they have impeccable balance and a healthy fear of the edge itself, i never discouraged them from hanging out there. the ledge runs around the building, so from the outside it serves as a bridge connecting the windows of neighboring apartments with mine.
of course i realised swami must have gone in one of the neighbors windows and then was locked in for the day somehow. so i tried to knock at the neighbors' doors, but with no answers. the night passed with me worried, but sane. in the morning, however, i was able to speak with the neighbors, and the first saidhe'd seen no sign of swami. the second had not seen her either, and informed me that the 3rd and final apartment on my floor was empty, and had been locked up for six months since the owner died.
this was the point i broke down.
if swami wasnt on my floor, then she fell. OFF. twelve stories with high ceilings. i began to sob like the first time someone ever broke my heart, and i couldnt stop. i called a friend who lives in the neighborhood, and he helped me search the parking area for her body, or a stain on the cement. then we searched the neighborhood, calling out her name, just in case. i was a trainwreck but i called every animal hospital in the area to see if a stranger had found her and brought her to emergency care. i went to the humane society and desperately searched the cages for my cat. nothing. just lots of other kitties who broke my heart.
i went home and made signs with her picture. i hung one in the lobby of my buliding asking for information even if it was about her death.
then i recieved a call from an elderly tenant who claimed to have possibly seen her at the old building next door that is being worked on, and is the permanent haunt of several harmless feral cats. so i went there, and still found nothing.
so i got drunk. i drank to forget how to cry, and to kill the vivid details of my overactive imagination. you see, i have had both kiwi and swami since they were two weeks old. their mother was feral and for some reason rejected her maternal duties when most of the litter did not survive. a co-worker lived on the property where they were found, hiding, hungry. i came to adopt one but saw these two sisters, teeny and shaking, pressed up against eachother and i had to have them both. ever since they have been my best friends.. we dance, watch movies, sleep together., i even talk to them out loud about my problems and tell them jokes. in return they are the most personal and communicative cats i have ever known, seriously.
i was still drinking around midnight when the phone rang. it was a another neighbor from the building who has a parking space beneath my windows. he told me that the previous morning he had noticed a foot-sized object had hit and utterly shattered the windshield of his parked truck, and in the broken glass he'd found little bits of hair. i began to cry all over again and determined to go down and see the spot where she died myself. i put my beer down and my friend chris and i went to look at the parking stall. i was about two stalls away from where she died when i thought i saw a dark tail dart between two parked cars. a sudden knot in my stomach told me to look again, and i got down on my knees and looked under the cars, and screamed "SWAMI OH MY GOD!"
it was her, dirty as hell and trembling and terrified, but my swami, and none other!! i had to speak gently to her through my sobs for a few minutes but eventually she let me softly pull her out and wrap her in a teeshirt, and carry her home. upstairs i stroked her to see if she was in pain, and though she moved slowly she was not limping and she ate like she hadnt eaten in years.
first thing in the morning i took her to her docter and after the xrays the doctor pulled me into a small room. she was smiling and some of the other vets came in. she said, "mary, we believe you have a wonder cat. i have heard of cats falling several stories with minor injuries, but never ever have i heard of a cat falling at least 120 feet through glass to the cement without hurting anything at all!! swami has a number of tough internal bruises, and shes lost the whiskers on the left side of her face, but she will heal and she is not damaged otherwise!!"
And there it is. one of the most emotionally triuphant moments in my life. swami is sitting on my lap now, as i type, purring and warming my thighs. i love her missing whiskers more than anything because the stubs protrude from a face i love and thought i lost.
and i cant forget kiwi, who is also a wonder cat in my mind: because the whole time swami was missing. kiwi stayed at my side like glue and would meow and guide me to the window, as if to remind me to look more, to not give up. And she helped bathe swami devotedly when swami was still in shock upon her return.
who am i, anyway, that two animals like the ones i love should love me in return?
who are we to call them our "pets"?
i think they give more to me when they make their daily choice to grant me such affection than most human relationships in my life ever have.
So i leave you all to your superstitions, or at least your jokes about them. tonight, i have important places to be , friends to feed, soft heads to stroke....
well, armed with this icecream i feel like writing again. And since it happens to be the elusive friday the 13th, and there is a possibility that there are one or two other people who are not either cowering under the canopy bed in superstition or taking a chance at some hedonistic gothic party, i thought id share an almost supernatural story.
A few days ago i was shaking the pebbles of cat food in the bag to announce dinner time for Kiwi and Swami. and predictably kiwi rounded the corner into the kitchen at a run. but swami didnt, which is weird because she is a little pig and always gets there first. i realised that i hadnt actually seen swami all day. both her and kiwi are very social and affectionate, in fact they usually follow me into whichever room i end up hanging out in. but they also like the cool shadows under my bed for long naps, so i didnt think anything of her absence until she didnt show up at meal time. i went to the bedroom and called her...nothing. what started as playful searching while making fun noises turned into a frantic nightmare when i realised she was not in the house anymore.
normally this would not be cause for concern, but things are different in my new apartment. the building is extremely "secure" to the extent of being alittle anal retentive. i mean, to get home i must open the lobby doors with a key, insert and turn another key to even open the elevator, then turn and hold another key inside the damn elevator as i push the button for my floor, and finally unlock my own apartment door. so you see, unless a human deliberately plotted to let my cat out so that she would be unable to return, swami's disappearance was a mystery, since id been home all day.
the olny explanation was the windows. i live on the 12th floor of a high building, framed at ground level on three sides with a cement parking area. i have 3 walls in my apartment which are primarily floor-to-ceiling windows that slide open, and just outside is a foot-wide ledge that the cats like to perch above the city on. since its wide and they have impeccable balance and a healthy fear of the edge itself, i never discouraged them from hanging out there. the ledge runs around the building, so from the outside it serves as a bridge connecting the windows of neighboring apartments with mine.
of course i realised swami must have gone in one of the neighbors windows and then was locked in for the day somehow. so i tried to knock at the neighbors' doors, but with no answers. the night passed with me worried, but sane. in the morning, however, i was able to speak with the neighbors, and the first saidhe'd seen no sign of swami. the second had not seen her either, and informed me that the 3rd and final apartment on my floor was empty, and had been locked up for six months since the owner died.
this was the point i broke down.
if swami wasnt on my floor, then she fell. OFF. twelve stories with high ceilings. i began to sob like the first time someone ever broke my heart, and i couldnt stop. i called a friend who lives in the neighborhood, and he helped me search the parking area for her body, or a stain on the cement. then we searched the neighborhood, calling out her name, just in case. i was a trainwreck but i called every animal hospital in the area to see if a stranger had found her and brought her to emergency care. i went to the humane society and desperately searched the cages for my cat. nothing. just lots of other kitties who broke my heart.
i went home and made signs with her picture. i hung one in the lobby of my buliding asking for information even if it was about her death.
then i recieved a call from an elderly tenant who claimed to have possibly seen her at the old building next door that is being worked on, and is the permanent haunt of several harmless feral cats. so i went there, and still found nothing.
so i got drunk. i drank to forget how to cry, and to kill the vivid details of my overactive imagination. you see, i have had both kiwi and swami since they were two weeks old. their mother was feral and for some reason rejected her maternal duties when most of the litter did not survive. a co-worker lived on the property where they were found, hiding, hungry. i came to adopt one but saw these two sisters, teeny and shaking, pressed up against eachother and i had to have them both. ever since they have been my best friends.. we dance, watch movies, sleep together., i even talk to them out loud about my problems and tell them jokes. in return they are the most personal and communicative cats i have ever known, seriously.
i was still drinking around midnight when the phone rang. it was a another neighbor from the building who has a parking space beneath my windows. he told me that the previous morning he had noticed a foot-sized object had hit and utterly shattered the windshield of his parked truck, and in the broken glass he'd found little bits of hair. i began to cry all over again and determined to go down and see the spot where she died myself. i put my beer down and my friend chris and i went to look at the parking stall. i was about two stalls away from where she died when i thought i saw a dark tail dart between two parked cars. a sudden knot in my stomach told me to look again, and i got down on my knees and looked under the cars, and screamed "SWAMI OH MY GOD!"
it was her, dirty as hell and trembling and terrified, but my swami, and none other!! i had to speak gently to her through my sobs for a few minutes but eventually she let me softly pull her out and wrap her in a teeshirt, and carry her home. upstairs i stroked her to see if she was in pain, and though she moved slowly she was not limping and she ate like she hadnt eaten in years.
first thing in the morning i took her to her docter and after the xrays the doctor pulled me into a small room. she was smiling and some of the other vets came in. she said, "mary, we believe you have a wonder cat. i have heard of cats falling several stories with minor injuries, but never ever have i heard of a cat falling at least 120 feet through glass to the cement without hurting anything at all!! swami has a number of tough internal bruises, and shes lost the whiskers on the left side of her face, but she will heal and she is not damaged otherwise!!"
And there it is. one of the most emotionally triuphant moments in my life. swami is sitting on my lap now, as i type, purring and warming my thighs. i love her missing whiskers more than anything because the stubs protrude from a face i love and thought i lost.
and i cant forget kiwi, who is also a wonder cat in my mind: because the whole time swami was missing. kiwi stayed at my side like glue and would meow and guide me to the window, as if to remind me to look more, to not give up. And she helped bathe swami devotedly when swami was still in shock upon her return.
who am i, anyway, that two animals like the ones i love should love me in return?
who are we to call them our "pets"?
i think they give more to me when they make their daily choice to grant me such affection than most human relationships in my life ever have.
So i leave you all to your superstitions, or at least your jokes about them. tonight, i have important places to be , friends to feed, soft heads to stroke....
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
pupnamedtwat:
That story jerked a tear from my left eye.
drpetervenkman:
so i'm reading all your journal entries because i just found out you have one now and this is one of the most amazing stories i've ever heard. i would've been a fucking wreck if that had happened to an animal of mine.