I wish there was someone who could look at me and see me. That they could recognize while I'm not physically broken, I am wounded. I have injuries. I have been damaged and left untreated. Pain that is only skin deep is not the only pain that matters or the only kind of pain that can kill.
So I just watched Blue Valentine. It was a fantastic film. I had a hard time watching it, however, because of how incredibly close to home it hit. My parents went through a marriage breakdown much like Dean and Cindy endured. I, like Frankie, was five and unable to read the signs and understand how much they hated each other by the end. It's odd to see something like that play out on screen. They did so incredibly well portraying it. I'll probably end up repeating the cycle. Oh, well.
"Sometimes the past is just something you can’t let go of. And sometimes the past is something we’ll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present."
Damn that Shonda Rhimes. She has such a great way at expressing simple and somehow, very obvious things, I wouldn't be able to say on my own.
Damn that Shonda Rhimes. She has such a great way at expressing simple and somehow, very obvious things, I wouldn't be able to say on my own.
Can someone please explain to me why it's okay for a person to treat another human being so terribly without a single ounce of remorse? I can't fathom a good reason. I can't even rationalize anymore. I'm tired of being a casualty to his inability to show compassion or understanding....
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin' all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health 'cause
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...
Blood loss in a bathroom stall
Southern girl with a scarlet drawl
Wave good-bye to ma and pa 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn's sweet we call it fall
I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...
This song fits best. Scar Tissue by RHCP... Song of My Day.
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
Push me up against the wall
Young Kentucky girl in a push-up bra
Fallin' all over myself
To lick your heart and taste your health 'cause
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...
Blood loss in a bathroom stall
Southern girl with a scarlet drawl
Wave good-bye to ma and pa 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn's sweet we call it fall
I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...
This song fits best. Scar Tissue by RHCP... Song of My Day.
Cover up with makeup in the mirror
Tell myself, it's never gonna happen again
I cry alone and then he swears he loves me.
Do you feel like a man when you push me around?
Do you feel better now as I fall to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life I have found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If I wade around forever, I will surely drown
Do you feel like a man when you push me around?
Do you feel better now as I fall to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life I have found
Face down in the dirt, I said,
"This doesn't hurt", I said,
"I finally had enough."
One day I will tell you that I have had enough
It's coming round again.
Do you feel like a man when you push me around?
Do you feel better now as I fall to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life I have found
Face down in the dirt, I said,
"This doesn't hurt", I said,
"I finally had enough."
I really have had enough. No more excuses, no more make up. Enough.
Tell myself, it's never gonna happen again
I cry alone and then he swears he loves me.
Do you feel like a man when you push me around?
Do you feel better now as I fall to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life I have found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If I wade around forever, I will surely drown
Do you feel like a man when you push me around?
Do you feel better now as I fall to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life I have found
Face down in the dirt, I said,
"This doesn't hurt", I said,
"I finally had enough."
One day I will tell you that I have had enough
It's coming round again.
Do you feel like a man when you push me around?
Do you feel better now as I fall to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life I have found
Face down in the dirt, I said,
"This doesn't hurt", I said,
"I finally had enough."
I really have had enough. No more excuses, no more make up. Enough.
You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choise but I'd still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
The Civil Wars explain my day best. Poison and Wine is probably my song of the day. I'm officially leaving you, Josh. It was never enough. You always wanted everything to be the way you saw fit. For a while I could play along and follow that path. I don't think I can anymore.
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choise but I'd still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
The Civil Wars explain my day best. Poison and Wine is probably my song of the day. I'm officially leaving you, Josh. It was never enough. You always wanted everything to be the way you saw fit. For a while I could play along and follow that path. I don't think I can anymore.
I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss
I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be, How's it going to be
Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in, swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me
I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be, How's it going to be
How's it going to be
Cheesy, I know. Get over it. Third Eye Blind says it best right at the moment. You won't see this and I'm never going to tell you but I am always gonna wonder how it's gonna be? You're too stubborn to tell me and I'm far too timid to ask... So we'll drift through the rest of our lives just not knowing.
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss
I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be, How's it going to be
Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in, swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me
I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be, How's it going to be
How's it going to be
Cheesy, I know. Get over it. Third Eye Blind says it best right at the moment. You won't see this and I'm never going to tell you but I am always gonna wonder how it's gonna be? You're too stubborn to tell me and I'm far too timid to ask... So we'll drift through the rest of our lives just not knowing.
"To have nothing at all around us, nothing to touch or look at, no hard lines whatsoever, just us and the gaping maw of the sky. I imagine that's what being full-dead is like. An emptiness, vast and absolute." -R 'Warm Bodies'
I'm looking into becoming a suicide girl... I'm nervous I wouldn't be a good one if they actually picked me! More importantly, what if they don't pick me?!
