SuicideGirls > Members

lostboy Heck a sentence about me... awww SG is too kind..well I'm just weird

I’m private

age: 33 (May 08, 1975)

MEMBER SINCE: November 2002

occupation: I occupy space? not sure on the volume

sign: Rabbit

body mods: Henna work , changes regularly

makes me happy: Swimming in the Ocean, good food, swimming in lakes, Yoga, massages, random acts of kindness

stats: 190lbs 5'3/4"muscular/athletic form. tanned, but still kinda pale.

i lost my virginity: I did? Oh well hope I enjoyed it.

most humbling moment: Seeing the first photos take of me in 8 years. Well ones where I'm not wearing cardboard and ducttape armor.

gets me hot: Heterosexual-Metasexual, kind of complex, but simply put if I genuinely enjoy a womans spirit/personality shes hot if not shes not even remotely attractive ie I'd rather goto sleep alone than be with Brittany Spears and I'd make love with Natalie Merchant in a heartbeat. Granted most women I find attractive till they speak, thats the real clincher /smirk

heroes: The Dali Lama, Lenny Bruce, My aunt Jackie, My Grandfater, Kleio Lune, Bif Naked I mean if I were a girl I would want to be her as a guy thats just who I want to wake upto in the morning.

crush: Nixon, not the president but the uber hot SG girl who is just as off from the mainstream as me.... oh yeah and Lotus who is on the whole other side of the spectrum from Nison

into: Cooking,Family/Friends,Female Vocalists, Bhuddist writings, meditation, Seiten, organic foods Yoga, the reverse cowgirl position, I like going down. Girls who use their legs during sex. Uhmmm reallly this could probably be like 50 pages or more of stuff, some of it your mother shouldn't read lol.

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Tuesday

OCTOBER 30, 2007 @ 02:09 AM | 3 COMMENTS

You ever experience soooo much pain you can just be happy? Its kinda funny. I had this girlfriend a long long time ago... lol actually pretty much in a far away land. She told me she smiled more the worse it hurt. I do that now. I can't really log this in my normal blog because people actually would care hehe, but I can do it here. The pain has gotten so bad sooo searing I think I might die..... Rofl... I look forward to it but don't really even care at this point. Almost everyone who is as weird as me who really feels, I guess is sensitive goes cold in the end. Only a couple flames still burn. You my know darkest fear, to no longer feel and still live, to be the undead I see everyday on the street. It all really isn't such a big deal anymore. I'm happy to die or struggle to become more attractive, richer, cultured to attract a good woman. At this point I think I should turn a good one down so she can date an asshole not as jaded and tormented by physical and mental ails as I. I mean most of those guys couldn't feel shit to start lol..... and sure enough I have girls cryong on my shoulder to this day about the drunkards who beat them. LOL and I know a girl who uses her guy for his money to buy drugs..... lol its mostly alll so fucked up, granted my own experiences have mostly been beautiful. Practically brilliant and beautiful transcendant. Now I find no love anyway... I guess I see it now and then really, its always on the younger.... still legal... but I long for someone around my age, and those I see are already dead. To die all you have to do is stop changing, stop evolving.... then you are dead.... Thats all it takes. Almost everyone I know over 30 is already dead. I get to see it. It hurts me so. I know I can't do anything., Its almost like a zombie movie. It reminds me of a line from "the Breakfast Club" "When you grow old, your heart just dies". It just seems soooo sad to me. Most older people I know just accept that. Not really my...