So i'm at my father's for a month already. It's been mostly hard and i was totally exhausted.
Last week i went for some days at my mother's to take a break, as my father had a friend at home.
I felt better then, because some little nice things happened at the same time.

- I was accepted at La Sorbonne, for sure this time, the transfert has been done from Metz, i just need to bring back all the papers september 5th.

- I could talk with my boyfriend, calmly about a few things we have to deal with right now (and we sure do have A LOT to settle).

We also had vitual sex and even if i just hate that, i think i needed to get laid a way or another. And that he needed to rememeber me.

He read what i wrote on my personnal blog about the girls. It was exactly what i wrote here with a bit less details because it's not private and i know he doesn't like me to talk about him too much.
Anyway he put the subject on the table. Sounds like we could agree about that if something should ever happen. That's a relief because i felt so bad towards him.
He can be such a pain in the ass sometimes, like he relays too much on me sometimes and don't pay enough attention if i need support or a long talk, but he has these incredible qualities that makes him someone so special. Like he could deal with anything that would make me happy so we could be more happy together.



Sometimes these days i feel like i just have to go through that awful summer and that everything's gonna be alright in september. I start to believe it will be the beginning of a whole new life, a nicer one to me.
That i will meet new nice and interesting people, that i will loose all my weight because i will be more active and less stressed, that my couple will be saved and going great, maybe also meet an open-minded beautiful creature with tits, that i will find time for all the activities and projects i'm thinking of...
But i also feel that way about the big C, like it will go away if my father handles the first 3 months of chimio*.
I know being positive can't hurt. But i'm a bit afraid my life will just be the same, quite boring, plus my father's illness going on...and that i will be disappointed and totally depressed.
Well right now maybe i lie to me, but i guess it's my way to overcome this situation.

*Of course i know it won't be over in 3 months, but my dad i so thin and he' not really a fighter, and i do not feel that he helps himself a lot... that it's a first goal.

Anyway, here are some of the things i'd like to do when i come back (but after i'd sleep a whole week) :
- Keep working on my danish, but way more.
- Register at La Sorbonne and choose my future options.
- Edit the Paris RollerGirls DVD.
- Buy a small HD cam as i can't bring the professionnal one everywhere i go.
- Add a regular podcast to my webzine.
- Write and shoot that webserie i'm thinking about for months.
- Direct a music video.
- Go (way) much more to the theater, and to exhibitions and museums.
- Read more, and faster.
- Go back to wrestling or rollerderby (i think both will be too much).
- Exercise at least 20 minutes at home everyday.
- Find a good way to earn enough/much more money and/or learn to sell/promote myself.
- Maybe decorate my appartment a little.
- Loose weight.
- Shoot new sets as a model for Zivity and maybe one for SG.
- Shoot girls for Zivity, and people for my own pleasure.
- Shoot a new interesting movie, as an actress.
- Go back to Denmark (and stay there my whole life and marry a lille viking havfrue).
- And travel more to Sweden and Norway... and once in the States and/or Canada would be great but i'll keep this one for later.
- Be with my family and boyfriend for Christmas.
- Be with all of them too for my brother's wedding in may.
- Of course, succeed the first university year.


Random pics :

Can't wait to come back home at the end of august !

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