"lauren walked by the window when i was sitting in a honeybun restaurant last week. she has rad hair.

PS she is one hot fully-clothed bitch."

"lauren and i are secretly lesbian lovers. don't ask her about it, though, because it's so secret that she won't admit it. in fact, she may say something like "shit bitch, that's nasty! tell that malloreigh ho that she can go to hell nigga! what?" however, do not be misled by her vehement denial of our lesbionic relations. she loves me.

SHE DOES I SWEAR TO GOD"