Hi SG!
Today, well today we're feeling much more positive, in fact one might even say I feel a bit like I'm ontop of the world! Or at least Kai's own little world! Spring is here! Let us start with the good news and end with the bright future!
For the first time in my entire life (my parents claim I didn't have it till I was 2 but who remembers anything before then?) my legs are psoriasis free! I've had it all over and quite recently worse then ever but now, now I have none! I'm sure many of you have heard my woes of stomach pain, and nausea, with the new powerful immunosuppressant, but they're worth it! The pain I would be in right now, in this changing of seasons, with psoriasis would be 20 times worse! And oddly? I've found what calms my stomach most.... Is wine! I think I can oblige by that diet!
Now to the future! So, I quit my job! I see this as a positive thing! I'm quitting knitting! It's time to put my Royal Institute of British Architects Part One Certification to good use! Architect Kai is go! ( at least in the job searching basis.)
And the immediate bright future? Well my birthday is in 15 days!!!!
Today, well today we're feeling much more positive, in fact one might even say I feel a bit like I'm ontop of the world! Or at least Kai's own little world! Spring is here! Let us start with the good news and end with the bright future!
For the first time in my entire life (my parents claim I didn't have it till I was 2 but who remembers anything before then?) my legs are psoriasis free! I've had it all over and quite recently worse then ever but now, now I have none! I'm sure many of you have heard my woes of stomach pain, and nausea, with the new powerful immunosuppressant, but they're worth it! The pain I would be in right now, in this changing of seasons, with psoriasis would be 20 times worse! And oddly? I've found what calms my stomach most.... Is wine! I think I can oblige by that diet!
Now to the future! So, I quit my job! I see this as a positive thing! I'm quitting knitting! It's time to put my Royal Institute of British Architects Part One Certification to good use! Architect Kai is go! ( at least in the job searching basis.)
And the immediate bright future? Well my birthday is in 15 days!!!!
Having ended way to many blogs on a negative note lately, this one is going to start with the bad, get it out of my system, and then hopefully end on a positive note!
The bad - So after a surprisingly few number of doctors visits and my very first but far from last visit to a rheumatologist I was diagnosised with Sjogren's Syndrome A disease when told I was testing positive for seemed silly is actually not at all. What it does mean is that I have yet another autoimmune disease like I was concerned about. My body seems to do a lot more attacking me then it does healing me...
I've put the rest about this in a spoiler as it's quite a depressing rant, so if you can't deal with a lot of negativity or prefer to know me on more of an aquiantence level then please skip over this to the good!
The bad - So after a surprisingly few number of doctors visits and my very first but far from last visit to a rheumatologist I was diagnosised with Sjogren's Syndrome A disease when told I was testing positive for seemed silly is actually not at all. What it does mean is that I have yet another autoimmune disease like I was concerned about. My body seems to do a lot more attacking me then it does healing me...
I've put the rest about this in a spoiler as it's quite a depressing rant, so if you can't deal with a lot of negativity or prefer to know me on more of an aquiantence level then please skip over this to the good!
The Good! - I've been settling in quite well. I go to a monthly game night which is so much fun! ( thanks [member]Gigabrain[/member] for introducing me) and I've bonded with some really amazing new friends that way. Can you believe I met people through a social gathering rather then through SG?! unheard of! It's nice that I'm starting to grow my own little group of friends here as things were getting quite lonely! and they are very supportive in my new problems. <3
The future! - Having settled in quite well I've begun looking properly for flats in Boston. My independence is throughly missed! (along with freakishly long commutes driving me mad.) I've already started buying little things and building up a collection of all the cute things for my own flat again! (after having to ditch so much of my home in London) and I'm beyond excited for my own kitchen! (even if I don't have pots and pans yet.)
Wrote out my blog on the train! I blame anything hard to read on the movement of the train!
Updates on home adventures
So I've been taking some serious time off. Settling in, hanging with my dad, helping around the house, my gran was in the hospital for a bit so I watched her dogs and house (ew dogs). I straightened my hair, I've made some new friends, I've seen some old friends, I certainly haven't done much looking for work.
and though this all sounds super great... I've been suffering through some pretty sever depression. It's just been so hard, losing your visa and your entire goal and plan of the future is just so defeating, and I know I'll get back onto it eventually and back into my goals again I'm jaded and just not quite ready for it all. But on Tuesday when I went up to Boston I had so much fun, even just wandering around a bit before I met up with some new friends to play board games just the city atmosphere made me so happy again. So I need to get back into living in the city again. So Thursday around 3pm I sent out my resume to five knitting stores in Boston (background I've been working in various knitting stores for the past 5 years) and by 10am Friday 4 of the 5 knitting stores contacted me back, and I have two interviews set up next week. So wish me luck on that, I guess the general plan in this all is to work my little butt off at a knitting store and save every dime, minus travel. Then to move up to Boston and be happy within city walls once again. <3
Ps for reading you can have some pictures of my hair straightening adventures!
So I've been taking some serious time off. Settling in, hanging with my dad, helping around the house, my gran was in the hospital for a bit so I watched her dogs and house (ew dogs). I straightened my hair, I've made some new friends, I've seen some old friends, I certainly haven't done much looking for work.
and though this all sounds super great... I've been suffering through some pretty sever depression. It's just been so hard, losing your visa and your entire goal and plan of the future is just so defeating, and I know I'll get back onto it eventually and back into my goals again I'm jaded and just not quite ready for it all. But on Tuesday when I went up to Boston I had so much fun, even just wandering around a bit before I met up with some new friends to play board games just the city atmosphere made me so happy again. So I need to get back into living in the city again. So Thursday around 3pm I sent out my resume to five knitting stores in Boston (background I've been working in various knitting stores for the past 5 years) and by 10am Friday 4 of the 5 knitting stores contacted me back, and I have two interviews set up next week. So wish me luck on that, I guess the general plan in this all is to work my little butt off at a knitting store and save every dime, minus travel. Then to move up to Boston and be happy within city walls once again. <3
Ps for reading you can have some pictures of my hair straightening adventures!
Well I've arrived safely, home sweet home or some shit.
It's nice, I haven't seen my family in over a year so it's nice to see everyone, I'm sure I'll start getting a bit bored quite quickly, specially as I'm living in a quite rural area and as I'm sure you realize I'm a city girl for sure, moved to NYC the second I turned 18 and to London at 21. I'm not far from Boston though so I'm hoping to travel up there a bit, maybe even start up some Boston SG meets?
I successfully cut everything down to two bags of everything I own. though now that I'm settled I'm hardcore craving some shopping, though that won't happen till I get a job. I've been creating a new US wishlist to keep my shopping at bay with a bit of online window shopping. For now I'm going to relax, I need the mental relaxation more then anything.
x
It's nice, I haven't seen my family in over a year so it's nice to see everyone, I'm sure I'll start getting a bit bored quite quickly, specially as I'm living in a quite rural area and as I'm sure you realize I'm a city girl for sure, moved to NYC the second I turned 18 and to London at 21. I'm not far from Boston though so I'm hoping to travel up there a bit, maybe even start up some Boston SG meets?
I successfully cut everything down to two bags of everything I own. though now that I'm settled I'm hardcore craving some shopping, though that won't happen till I get a job. I've been creating a new US wishlist to keep my shopping at bay with a bit of online window shopping. For now I'm going to relax, I need the mental relaxation more then anything.
x
I really hate when people mention karma because I feel saying well that's karma or i hope karma kicks you in the butt is therefore wishing negative thoughts on people and putting the karma factor back towards one selves... but this does make me understand a bit more about why it was such a struggle to get sponsored....
London Metropolitan Universities Visa License Revolked.
It doesn't make me feel good, though it does make me thankful this didn't happen in the middle of my education. I feel for those in that situation. It does make me feel like my struggle was a bit more justified and that sometimes it's not that you didn't try your very hardest because I've never tried that hard before in my life for anything, sometimes it's just not up to you.
I'm hoping this makes it all easier to accept.
London Metropolitan Universities Visa License Revolked.
It doesn't make me feel good, though it does make me thankful this didn't happen in the middle of my education. I feel for those in that situation. It does make me feel like my struggle was a bit more justified and that sometimes it's not that you didn't try your very hardest because I've never tried that hard before in my life for anything, sometimes it's just not up to you.
I'm hoping this makes it all easier to accept.
So first things get worse before better. I've officially moved to my friends my lease is up. but Paris is off.
Wednesday morning I ended up in the Hospital. I've spoilered the details incase it's to much. :]
Wednesday morning I ended up in the Hospital. I've spoilered the details incase it's to much. :]
So after three days and two nights in the hospital I'm now home safe and sound and on tons of codeine and antibiotics! I didn't tell anyone really and I didn't mean to be rude about it I'm just not very good with people worrying about me, it makes me worry! I didn't tell my own mum till after the surgery.
The only thing that's rubbish about that is you don't get flowers like everyone else!
Edit: my parents just sang soft kitty to me over skype. best.parents.ever.
Ok I think it's blog time!
First things first, yes it's officially I am being forced to leave the UK and move back to the States where I will live with my parents in Massachusetts till I sort myself out financially and maybe a little bit emotionally too.
This has all taken quite a toll on me, I didn't want to leave the UK and I tried my damn hardest to stay, but the time to cry is over and the time to pick myself up and move on is coming.
I've sold pretty much everything I own, and am using this money to travel to parts I felt silly having lived in London for three years and not seen, Wales - Scotland - and Paris! This does however come with some sadness, I know it's material but it's hard. When I moved to the UK originally I packed two bags of everything I owned and left everything else at my parents! Then as many of you know my parents house burnt down and everything was gone... over the three years I've lived here I've accumulated quite a lot of stuff and it makes me sad to know I'm not going home to the stuff I left, but am again designated to the two bags of everything I own. Many things are hard to get rid of but at the end of the day it's stuff. I'm struggling most with books, I've read tons, specially books about suburbia for my dissertation. I loved these books and I learned tons from them, but realistically they're far to heavy to send, books aren't very expensive, they are cheaper to sell and rebuy in the states. But when am i going to have enough money to justify buying books that I've already read, just so i can have the books I love?
I guess that's the thing, I've been so stressed, theres so much on the back of my mind that all these little things on the front of my mind throw me over the edge. At the end of the day this isn't about books, it isn't about material possessions, this is about giving up the life I had worked so hard for, and the potential loss of everything I've worked for towards my dreams to be gone. I'm not sure what it will be like trying to continue my architecture degree in the states, between the economy and my non recognised certification I can only hope at this point.
Hope with me, because I've been feeling awfully alone.
First things first, yes it's officially I am being forced to leave the UK and move back to the States where I will live with my parents in Massachusetts till I sort myself out financially and maybe a little bit emotionally too.
This has all taken quite a toll on me, I didn't want to leave the UK and I tried my damn hardest to stay, but the time to cry is over and the time to pick myself up and move on is coming.
I've sold pretty much everything I own, and am using this money to travel to parts I felt silly having lived in London for three years and not seen, Wales - Scotland - and Paris! This does however come with some sadness, I know it's material but it's hard. When I moved to the UK originally I packed two bags of everything I owned and left everything else at my parents! Then as many of you know my parents house burnt down and everything was gone... over the three years I've lived here I've accumulated quite a lot of stuff and it makes me sad to know I'm not going home to the stuff I left, but am again designated to the two bags of everything I own. Many things are hard to get rid of but at the end of the day it's stuff. I'm struggling most with books, I've read tons, specially books about suburbia for my dissertation. I loved these books and I learned tons from them, but realistically they're far to heavy to send, books aren't very expensive, they are cheaper to sell and rebuy in the states. But when am i going to have enough money to justify buying books that I've already read, just so i can have the books I love?
I guess that's the thing, I've been so stressed, theres so much on the back of my mind that all these little things on the front of my mind throw me over the edge. At the end of the day this isn't about books, it isn't about material possessions, this is about giving up the life I had worked so hard for, and the potential loss of everything I've worked for towards my dreams to be gone. I'm not sure what it will be like trying to continue my architecture degree in the states, between the economy and my non recognised certification I can only hope at this point.
Hope with me, because I've been feeling awfully alone.
I've seen, blue skies through the tears..... In my eyes....
and I realize....
I'm going home....
