"you're my favorite."

"i like this lady, but the fact that her grandmother has to get her dates is a little suspect."

"She has nice eyes.

And by "eyes" I mean "boobs"."

"there is only one word to describe this girl. "delicious" "

"You're my pookie."

"The only reason to ride the 7"

"Judy is the best non-active tour guide in all of NYC, and reguardless of what she may say, it wasn't my screwdriver's fault."

"Judy smells like cabbage!"

"Judy means the world to me. Nothing comforts me as much as knowing that when I have something on my mind, be it Earth shattering problem or stupid drunken message, that she's only a text message away."

"Cute as a bug."

"We're soulmates. Fuck the rest of you."

"I named a fictitious porno in honor of her. I told her boyfriend that if he didn't get his ass to San Francisco immediately I was going to sweep in and take her away with me. I had overly fancy and plastic plate dinners with her. She got me to start text messaging, and showed me Alexander Hamilton's tomb. I care for her more than I can express. She's the best thing I got out of this website that has become exponentially lamer by the day. When things are better I hope she's still there to be my friend. Because losing her would suck beyond belief, and I don't really want to consider that proposition at the moment."

"Of all the testimonials I have ever written, this one is the longest overdue. Probably due to the fact that whenever I try to think of an adequate grouping of words to describe what a wonderful person that Judy really is... I fail miserably. Singing her praises is really a task that should only be attempted if you have a good sized symphony orchestra, a large troop of interpretive dancers, and the special effects budget of a major motion picture studio. And even then, with people wandering dazed from the IMAX theater in which said theoretical masterpiece would be displayed, I'd probably shuffle away thinking "Meh... She's better in person."

That being said... I like Judy. A lot. <3

-T

(p.s. She'll save children, but not the British children.)"