I think I found another missing piece of the puzzle....
I am surprised how well I took to my first boxing training tonight, it was just what I needed. I got to the combat centre earlier than I meant to and I was sitting outside in the sun for around 20 minutes waiting for someone to show up. My mind turned over a bit asking myself "why am I doing this?" and I was tempted to bottle it and leave but I would have no respect for myself if I did that, I wasnt just going to quit, its against my nature (sometimes its my downfall). But anyways, I stuck around and did the whole training session and was suitably rewarded for putting myself out there, I am glad I can still make a leap of faith after everything and believe in myself.
It was physically demanding and allowed me to expel alot of negative energy I got stored in the basement. I feel pretty exhausted but totally invigorated, I feel like the last 6 months of physical training has all been leading towards a challenge like this and I cant wait to get the gloves on again on friday night, I intend to do this regularly and as much as my work schedule will allow.
Also, today I started meditating again, that was good! 40 minutes this afternoon relaxing, reflecting and trying to get in the zone, it helped me focus and calmed me down alot. As I have mentioned lately I have been tightly wound, a bit of a powder keg and prone to a bit of negative internal monologing at some points, well the meditation helped bitch slap that down a healthy amount and really grounded me. I know this is something I will need to keep up as the positive side effects of it have been quite obvious. it was kind of difficult to totally let myself go into it because of the location (my flat) which is pretty much on par with a total doss house full of noisy people who have strange energy, but I still got stuck in and managed to transend that for a while and spread out my awareness beyond that for brief beautiful moments.
So I only have 7 days left in this house too before I move, if everything goes according to plan! I cant wait to get out of this shitty fucking zoo/nut house, god willing I will be able to do that on schedule and kick start the next section of my year/life/journey.....
In the meantime, bed tonight and back to work tomorrow.... Joy. haha :-)
x
I am surprised how well I took to my first boxing training tonight, it was just what I needed. I got to the combat centre earlier than I meant to and I was sitting outside in the sun for around 20 minutes waiting for someone to show up. My mind turned over a bit asking myself "why am I doing this?" and I was tempted to bottle it and leave but I would have no respect for myself if I did that, I wasnt just going to quit, its against my nature (sometimes its my downfall). But anyways, I stuck around and did the whole training session and was suitably rewarded for putting myself out there, I am glad I can still make a leap of faith after everything and believe in myself.
It was physically demanding and allowed me to expel alot of negative energy I got stored in the basement. I feel pretty exhausted but totally invigorated, I feel like the last 6 months of physical training has all been leading towards a challenge like this and I cant wait to get the gloves on again on friday night, I intend to do this regularly and as much as my work schedule will allow.
Also, today I started meditating again, that was good! 40 minutes this afternoon relaxing, reflecting and trying to get in the zone, it helped me focus and calmed me down alot. As I have mentioned lately I have been tightly wound, a bit of a powder keg and prone to a bit of negative internal monologing at some points, well the meditation helped bitch slap that down a healthy amount and really grounded me. I know this is something I will need to keep up as the positive side effects of it have been quite obvious. it was kind of difficult to totally let myself go into it because of the location (my flat) which is pretty much on par with a total doss house full of noisy people who have strange energy, but I still got stuck in and managed to transend that for a while and spread out my awareness beyond that for brief beautiful moments.
So I only have 7 days left in this house too before I move, if everything goes according to plan! I cant wait to get out of this shitty fucking zoo/nut house, god willing I will be able to do that on schedule and kick start the next section of my year/life/journey.....
In the meantime, bed tonight and back to work tomorrow.... Joy. haha :-)
x