amazing
the ebbs and flows
the backside to every front
the organic way in which it all moves
the tao
the yin
and the yang
life will always find a balance
just when you think that you have decided how your life will be something will invariably come along and swallow you whole
so, no, you never know anything
because the rules constantly change
i am not trying to be poetic
cause i wouldn't know how to do that
just an observation

hhmmm. hello autumn. come on in and have a nice cup of coffee. would you like some butternut squash soup? maybe some yams? yes i do enjoy your chilly mornings and rainy days. what? i love you too autumn. especially the way your light dances through the leaves. oh that reminds me. have you heard that song...

bike riding. bike riding.
sleep.
eat.
bike riding.
sleep.
eat.
play video games.
eat. sleep.
bike ridi...


... i am pretty sure you get the point. so this begs the question. how old am i? well, not very. this is a satisfying two days. excuse me, i am going to a book and listen to the pod.

so this is how it is? i would like some more snow. this whole saturn return thing has me in a weird place. i am ready to runaway and live on a commune or in iceland. or a commune in iceland. i want to be overwhelmed. portland has become to safe to me. it is almost time to run. like when you take mushrooms and run crazy through the night. surrounded by trees. that is what i need. i need out of this goddamned city. i need some nature.

there is nothing like the overcast landscape to have a great morning. the kind of morning that just involves listening to sigur ros, hail to the thief, and some slowdive. drinking coffee while laying on the couch. yes autumn is sort of here. it is then ruined by this incessantly beautiful weather. i wished it would go away already. i need rain. i need dreariness. to quote that horrible song, i am only happy when it rains.

i am tiredandon my parents computer that has a broken space bar. they bougtha $3,000 computer but can't seem to get an ew damned space bar that works,sad really. i hate flying on planes. the east coast is really scary. costco is evil and i ammtired.whwn i travel, i am on the beer andcoffee diet. i kinda like it. i miss portland iam quite tiredand i amgoing to smash this damned keyboard.

i am going to go listen to some trans am and do the dishes. yeah, doesn't that sound exciting. maybe sweep and mop the floor. my days as a vegetable pimp are limited. i just have to hold out until the end of apple season. i mean how the fuck can i resist free organis arkansas black apples all day?? you have not lived until you get off the red delicious apple eating train. seriously. you are a sad and twisted fuck in my opinion if you have not had apples as they are meant to be. damned you safeway! damned you pathmark!! with your waxed and pesticide covered "fruit." plastic apples have as much flavor. grrr. it makes me so angry. i love the fall though. i wish that it could just be pertual autumn weather. maybe it is time to have some apple cider with doing the dishes and rocking out to trans am. i am pretty sure that this will be a good day.

laying on the valley bed listening to the grass grow birds fly overhead as the slugs munch the grass and trudge a path across the meadow the rocks pulsing terra speaking and my mind melts this moment stretching into millenium as the earth spins to reveal the stars billions of years away on a distant planet

soooo... the material things making me happy today. kinda sad, but i didn't pay for any of them so that makes me feel better. JAGUAR!! SAFARI!! yes i am a total dork. however, a friend let me borrow and i am loving my new non explorer browser. sad really. SLOWDIVE!!! after years of missing this album and never being smart enough to purchase it, i finally borrowed it from a friend. with the weather sort of changing i need the slowdive. and london suede. and cure pornography. and somehow i have become a slut for interpol. now i am going outside to enjoy the cool morning. i would talk about politics or something meaningful, however, i am talking to myself anyway. tootles.

why did it take me so damned long to find out about mira calix. i bought the album the other day cause i liked the cover art(which really is the only way to pick out good albums). it is fucking rad! check her shit out if you get a chance.