The insecurity phase.
So, I've been a bit busy hanging out with Blondie (the girl from the last post), and it's been really good. But I sit here now in the insecurity phase... that phase of getting to know someone or liking someone where you like them enough to start worrying. Worrying about how you come off, and worrying about what they think of you and of course worrying if they are even on the same page. But a few good things seemed to have happened recently, mainly that we went out to a show and were publicly affectionate around both sets of friends. Always a good sign, like she's not afraid to be with you and is also not necessarily still on the prowl so win!
But I'd like to talk about how tonight, for really the first time in about a year since I met her, I ran into and this time talked to (instead of avoided) one of my "exes." (there are quotes because we dated for a month, but she had an effect on me so...). I think she barely recognized me, which was funny, since I've actually seen her around town lots. I always see her from behind or something and think to myself, "my what a fine lady, she's totally my type, I'd like to date her" and then she turns around and I see it's her and I'm "FUCK."
Anyway, catching up was good. It was a thing I had to do, I still feel a bit of the "one that got away" about her, but in reality I think we wouldn't have worked out as long anyway (this, of course, is assuming she didn't meet, date and then dump me for a drummer of some local band... ahem!)... but I've been in Portland for over a year now and I need to just keep going and growing.
A bit disjointed but that's how I roll on Sundays...
So, I've been a bit busy hanging out with Blondie (the girl from the last post), and it's been really good. But I sit here now in the insecurity phase... that phase of getting to know someone or liking someone where you like them enough to start worrying. Worrying about how you come off, and worrying about what they think of you and of course worrying if they are even on the same page. But a few good things seemed to have happened recently, mainly that we went out to a show and were publicly affectionate around both sets of friends. Always a good sign, like she's not afraid to be with you and is also not necessarily still on the prowl so win!
But I'd like to talk about how tonight, for really the first time in about a year since I met her, I ran into and this time talked to (instead of avoided) one of my "exes." (there are quotes because we dated for a month, but she had an effect on me so...). I think she barely recognized me, which was funny, since I've actually seen her around town lots. I always see her from behind or something and think to myself, "my what a fine lady, she's totally my type, I'd like to date her" and then she turns around and I see it's her and I'm "FUCK."
Anyway, catching up was good. It was a thing I had to do, I still feel a bit of the "one that got away" about her, but in reality I think we wouldn't have worked out as long anyway (this, of course, is assuming she didn't meet, date and then dump me for a drummer of some local band... ahem!)... but I've been in Portland for over a year now and I need to just keep going and growing.
A bit disjointed but that's how I roll on Sundays...
desided:
I am in this unknowing zone with you. I want to say times a billion but.. nah im going to