I'm working on a new song. It is a sad one but that's not how I'm feeling.

Ok, it's New Year's Eve and I am finishing my 2nd bottle of wine. I don't really have a point besides that. My GF is going to drive us around. She is awesome, that is all.

I have a new job in my field! The GF is moving in with me! Everything is going pretty well.

When I sing it sounds like Neil Young

I could certainly use more sleep...I have a lot to do, I need to make a list. I have a lot of long-term goals, again, I need to make a list...

My blogs are all about women...I've met someone that is a mix of all the best stuff from everyone I've ever dated, all mixed together in a big blender. She is great!

How amazing is it that I am giving the girl of my dreams butterflies?

I'm working three jobs until the end of semester, then I will start studying for the CPA which will be a shit ton of work. The girl I really liked? We no longer talk. Think I'll just roll out and write some songs.

Well...she doesn't want to be in a relationship; she is the one that suggested it. I want her. Not just her body but all of her. It will never be. I will not be able to trust her again. FB still says we are in a relationship. As long as that is up I will maintain hope, I will continue to play the role of BF. She is so busy though, I will honestly probably never see her again. fuck. Nobody reads this anyway.

She is sweet, she is nice, she is fun, she is funny and intelligent. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. She is just out of reach. She has always been just out of reach. I have said everything I can to try and win her, to try and get her to just chill until life is a little less hectic. I can't do anymore. It's all in her hands now.

I don't like being powerless. God, I want her. She makes me physically uneasy being around her; I have a physical reaction in my very core. I have never felt that before. I'm fucked.

I cannot wrap my head around the events of the past few days; I go to my facebook many times a day just to look at it. "In a Relationship with X" the prettiest girl I have ever met, the girl of my dreams, In a Relationship...I look just to confirm it is real. I see it and it is like another person, that is my name but it isn't me, what is this cruel trick...and there she is, my GF. How the fuck has this happened? I have scored a victory of unprecedented scale. Now the easy part is over, winning her love is my new goal.

And now I truly believe...