My first question is simple, yet essential. Why? Why do I try so hard to be something that I may or may not be? I wear clever t-shirts, I have peircings and tattoos, I scar my own flesh and to what end? Do any of these make me a better preson? Do these help my fellow man? Do they improve anyones quality of life? The answer is a big fat capitalized bold font NO. None of these things do anything other then stroke my ego and make me feel “unique”. I use quotes when saying “unique” because no matter how you try you can never truely be a one-of-a-kind, if you truely think that in the however many gewnerations man has been around that no one has been like you then you are truely an idiot. If you do manage to do something that no one else has ever done then all that will happen is that some moron will think its cool and duplicate it, then what have you got? Bragging rights that you influenced a moron or possibly a group of morons. Good for you.

I work a job that I hate in order to pay for the education that I am squandering by keeping the afore mentioned job. And yet if I were to take a job that involves physical labor and a skill of some kind I could get paid more to further squander said education. How does tha make sense? I feel so damn numb all the time, the only emotion I feel is anger. I make mysef hurt so I can tell if I’m alive. That is why I have piercings. That is why I have tattoos. That is why I scar my flesh. I hate everyone and everything with very few exceptions. One of these exceptions is my family. I love them. Possibly the only thing I do love. The only thing I would do anything for, die for if necessary (even tough I’m sure it would make my mother very upset).

Other then the weekly visit to my parents house I hate every aspect of my life. I live with an ex-girlfriend from highschool because I can’t afford to live on my own and don’t want to admit that I should move back in with my parents (even though I probably should). Every once...

My first question is simple, yet essential. Why? Why do I try so hard to be something that I may or may not be? I wear clever t-shirts, I have peircings and tattoos, I scar my own flesh and to what end? Do any of these make me a better preson? Do these help my fellow man? Do they improve anyones quality of life? The answer is a big fat capitalized bold font NO. None of these things do anything other then stroke my ego and make me feel “unique”. I use quotes when saying “unique” because no matter how you try you can never truely be a one-of-a-kind, if you truely think that in the however many gewnerations man has been around that no one has been like you then you are truely an idiot. If you do manage to do something that no one else has ever done then all that will happen is that some moron will think its cool and duplicate it, then what have you got? Bragging rights that you influenced a moron or possibly a group of morons. Good for you.

I work a job that I hate in order to pay for the education that I am squandering by keeping the afore mentioned job. And yet if I were to take a job that involves physical labor and a skill of some kind I could get paid more to further squander said education. How does tha make sense? I feel so damn numb all the time, the only emotion I feel is anger. I make mysef hurt so I can tell if I’m alive. That is why I have piercings. That is why I have tattoos. That is why I scar my flesh. I hate everyone and everything with very few exceptions. One of these exceptions is my family. I love them. Possibly the only thing I do love. The only thing I would do anything for, die for if necessary (even tough I’m sure it would make my mother very upset).

Other then the weekly visit to my parents house I hate every aspect of my life. I live with an ex-girlfriend from highschool because I can’t afford to live on my own and don’t want to admit that I should move back in with my parents (even though I probably should). Every once in a while I’ll have sex with a different ex, I’m still not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. I have pretty much accepted that my ex-lesbian ex-girlfriend roomates new boyfriend lives here but doesn’t have to pay rent. It sucks but the rightious indignity and rage gives me motivation to excercise and work on my various projects (as to not completely waste my $50K education).

I have no real purpose in writing this. No grand design or goal. Much like my life I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing