sometimes i wish I could collapse into myself. entropic existential exhaustion.
so yes - I met a girl in a bar - totally and absolutely happenstance - months ago.
and we grew a shining to one another.
BUT - like most buts - it ended.
after three weeks i got closure with her tonight.
she told me, in confidence, that I was a fantastic guy - but ultimately not her bag.
I don't know what that means, I tried to get her to clarify.
And now a few hours removed - I think it is what it IS
I wasn't her idea of a long term relationship
and thank heavens I'm trying to join up - or I might apply unnecessary pressure to the situation.
so here I am, thinking about life, women, and the military AS
I talk to my brother on facebook after four months of NOT because he's been deployed in south east asia.
life is life
complain - and it'll pass you by.
so yes - I met a girl in a bar - totally and absolutely happenstance - months ago.
and we grew a shining to one another.
BUT - like most buts - it ended.
after three weeks i got closure with her tonight.
she told me, in confidence, that I was a fantastic guy - but ultimately not her bag.
I don't know what that means, I tried to get her to clarify.
And now a few hours removed - I think it is what it IS
I wasn't her idea of a long term relationship
and thank heavens I'm trying to join up - or I might apply unnecessary pressure to the situation.
so here I am, thinking about life, women, and the military AS
I talk to my brother on facebook after four months of NOT because he's been deployed in south east asia.
life is life
complain - and it'll pass you by.
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the outcome: I know in my heart that monogamous emotional/intimate relaitonships are what I want. And while she share a similar view - she ended up not feeling that the monogamy existed in ours.
"you are a great guy, I just do not want a relationship with you, I do not want to date you."
I'm duely impressed because that is wonderfully honest. i cannot fault her in that approach.
All I could do is spend sometime inside - contemplate why I feel the way I do, find a little peace, and move on.
in a sense - that all we can do as a species "contemplate why I feel the way I do, find a little peace, and move on" WITH a healthy dose of "Learn from your mistakes."