Actually that sounds pretty scary. Especially when you list things like "Taking Klonopin, Soma, Oxycontin, and a box of Benadryl all at once just so I could “see what happens”." Are those all prescription meds? If so, will a doctor just prescribe you different meds that most likely shouldn't be taken together? (Forgive my lack of knowledge. I live in a country where that sort of thing (I only know of Oxycontin and never heard about it in a good context) probably wouldn't happen because doctors just don't prescribe as much stuff...)
If you try to buy two different drugs which don't go together at a pharmacy here, chances are that the pharmacist may decide against selling one of them.

I find it interesting you always say "your identity" as if you only had one. I mean, everyone has tons of identities which depend on the context the person finds himself in. And "finding" your identity in your early/mid 20s doesn't mean it's your one static identity for the rest of your life. Identities evolve. Constantly. And that's good. At least in my opinion.

yeah, i actually posted an early draft of that post by accident -- a draft that had far too perky of a conclusion. i've updated it now, though.

klonopin, soma, and oxycontin are prescriptions, though only the first of those has ever been prescribed to me.

as for "identity", whenever i write it or say it i always mean it in a dynamic sense. maybe it would be better described as a "meta-identity", one that includes the "tons of identities which depend on the context a person finds himself in".

i agree with you when you say that identities aren't static. ( when one is bipolar, they definitely aren't ) actually, you're making me start thinking about whether i'm approaching this from the wrong angle: rather than "finding an identity", perhaps the real goal i'm trying to talk about is just learning to be comfortable with oneself, willing to pursue what one wants, and able to adapt to any and all situations.

apologies if any of that read a little muddled; i just woke up. i really appreciate your insight, though

I like the approach of "not finding an identity", but instead "being comfortable with who you happen to be at that moment." It puts much less pressure on you, I think, and allows you to be different in different places and situations without feeling "I shouldn't be like that."
Other than that... Mixing prescription drugs sure is a risky thing. I wouldn't do it. But then again I'm not on any drugs other than contraception and I try to stay away from drugs (prescription, non-prescription, legal) as much as possible or entirely (illegal) as far as I can... But obviously everyone is free to make their own choices.

i love your outlook on "identity" -- the fluidity of it is really something i should think more on

i agree, mixing drugs is extremely risky, if not downright stupid. i don't see it so much as something to take pride in, but rather a hurdle to overcome. i will admit that drug use has really improved my social ability and my confidence, but i've been trying to see them more as training wheels, i.e., the experience i gain with being sociable and self-confident will, ideally, translate into having that same sociability and confidence once i stop taking all these medications.

incidentally, i appreciate all the feedback you've been giving me, as it's helped me to see things in a more fitting perspective. so, thanks