I think it's time to admit
That like a lot of my friends, this site isn't really appropriate for my life anymore whatsoever. I miss the little group we had, but now there is really nothing left for me here, and it doesn't make sense for me to continue with it. SG really doesn't offer me much that is substantial or meaningful to my life.
Bye SG. I'll miss the memories, but I don't see a reason why I should hold on to your entire site just because I can see things from 2006 in my inbox folder.
That like a lot of my friends, this site isn't really appropriate for my life anymore whatsoever. I miss the little group we had, but now there is really nothing left for me here, and it doesn't make sense for me to continue with it. SG really doesn't offer me much that is substantial or meaningful to my life.
Bye SG. I'll miss the memories, but I don't see a reason why I should hold on to your entire site just because I can see things from 2006 in my inbox folder.
Where have you all gone
I remember a time when I used to furiously reply to messages on this thing; and most of the people I was talking to were actual friends. That's not to, in any way, say that the people I corresponded with in different locales of the world weren't friends. And now, some of those friends live in different locales of the world.
Ultimately though, one day there was facebook. And for some reason we (as friends) stopped being a community or a group that identified with SG or used it as a jumping off point for socializing, and started using FB, and in a way stopped socializing. Although, I do have to hand it to misguided who indeed every week invites all he knows to a pub group without prejudice, and still invites us all to karaoke.
But fuck! I remember an actual SG tour! An actual SG event with a band (Raygun Cowboys) and burlesque, and all sorts of fun, including me getting drawn on with permanent marker whilst totally sober and awake.
Does anyone want to be part of SG anymore? Does anyone identify with SG as a group of friends? Does anyone want to make friends on SG or be friends on SG? Do people still use this site as their primary social networking site? Is there any new blood? I used to get tonnes of messages, again, mostly from people I talked to on a daily basis anyway. Now: nothing. On the first page of my Inbox, I have messages that date back to 2008.
Does anyone still want to be an SG'er? Do I? Or am I only on here because I'm holding on to memories of that SG West group, and all my friends who were a part of it?
I remember a time when I used to furiously reply to messages on this thing; and most of the people I was talking to were actual friends. That's not to, in any way, say that the people I corresponded with in different locales of the world weren't friends. And now, some of those friends live in different locales of the world.
Ultimately though, one day there was facebook. And for some reason we (as friends) stopped being a community or a group that identified with SG or used it as a jumping off point for socializing, and started using FB, and in a way stopped socializing. Although, I do have to hand it to misguided who indeed every week invites all he knows to a pub group without prejudice, and still invites us all to karaoke.
But fuck! I remember an actual SG tour! An actual SG event with a band (Raygun Cowboys) and burlesque, and all sorts of fun, including me getting drawn on with permanent marker whilst totally sober and awake.
Does anyone want to be part of SG anymore? Does anyone identify with SG as a group of friends? Does anyone want to make friends on SG or be friends on SG? Do people still use this site as their primary social networking site? Is there any new blood? I used to get tonnes of messages, again, mostly from people I talked to on a daily basis anyway. Now: nothing. On the first page of my Inbox, I have messages that date back to 2008.
Does anyone still want to be an SG'er? Do I? Or am I only on here because I'm holding on to memories of that SG West group, and all my friends who were a part of it?
When was the last time
Everything was great?
New job
Great Girl
Nice car
everything is perfect...
Everything was great?
New job
Great Girl
Nice car
everything is perfect...
New House, New Home
Tomorrow I move in with the most amazing woman I've ever met. We will be sharing a fantastic house that we will be making our own for probably at least the next 3 years. I'm extremely excited (and stressed) to say the least. Tonight is the last night we share in her apartment. Right now, I'm about to go have the last nap I will ever have in her bedroom before we have a different bedroom that is OUR bedroom. It's amazing.
Old Business
-still going through withdrawal from effexor (what a freaking nightmare)
-still looking for a decent permanent job that pays over $14/hr
-need to get an oil change for Lizzie (you know, my 2011 5.0 Mustang?)
Calgary, Ho!
This is important, because if any of my Edmonton friends read this blog, I want them to know that myself and Hazzard have began planning an SG Canada West night to occur in Calgary. I would love this! It wouldn't be too expensive to drive down for an over-nighter, and I'd get to see some great friends I haven't seen in I-Don't-Know-When, like FreakPirate. Also, it'd be fantastic if our band got a chance to play in another city. What's it been, 4 years now, and we've never played outside the city?
The Possibilities...
...are endless.
Tomorrow I move in with the most amazing woman I've ever met. We will be sharing a fantastic house that we will be making our own for probably at least the next 3 years. I'm extremely excited (and stressed) to say the least. Tonight is the last night we share in her apartment. Right now, I'm about to go have the last nap I will ever have in her bedroom before we have a different bedroom that is OUR bedroom. It's amazing.
Old Business
-still going through withdrawal from effexor (what a freaking nightmare)
-still looking for a decent permanent job that pays over $14/hr
-need to get an oil change for Lizzie (you know, my 2011 5.0 Mustang?)
Calgary, Ho!
This is important, because if any of my Edmonton friends read this blog, I want them to know that myself and Hazzard have began planning an SG Canada West night to occur in Calgary. I would love this! It wouldn't be too expensive to drive down for an over-nighter, and I'd get to see some great friends I haven't seen in I-Don't-Know-When, like FreakPirate. Also, it'd be fantastic if our band got a chance to play in another city. What's it been, 4 years now, and we've never played outside the city?
The Possibilities...
...are endless.
Dedication
I've got a tremendous band with a tremendous problem. I think we just started to get into the groove again, which means I'm pretty sure that we will all be like, "nah can't make it tonight for X reason." Even though, last week when we played, we all agreed that we were in for today.
Even I don't feel like playing, and I'm not sure why. Lord knows I need it. Last week, when I picked up my M100, it was if the strings were cable-car wires. I was fumbling all over the place. I used to be lightning fast, razor sharp, and shaved-crotch smooth on that thing. MY RIG makes me sound like a better guitar player than I actually am, but even it's fantastic tone can't cover up the fact that I'm sucking ass at guitar playing, and I haven't done my due dilligence of practicing in the time I've been living with my girlfriend in a one bedroom apartment.
That raises the question, why not. Is it because I'm in a one bedroom apartment? Was it lack of time? Was I just lazy? Did I feel like I would be disconnecting myself from her doing such a solo activity? Whatever it was, who cares, I didn't practice, I sound like crap, and I'm thinking of taking on students again this summer.
But I totally don't feel like practising (sic) tonight.
I've got a tremendous band with a tremendous problem. I think we just started to get into the groove again, which means I'm pretty sure that we will all be like, "nah can't make it tonight for X reason." Even though, last week when we played, we all agreed that we were in for today.
Even I don't feel like playing, and I'm not sure why. Lord knows I need it. Last week, when I picked up my M100, it was if the strings were cable-car wires. I was fumbling all over the place. I used to be lightning fast, razor sharp, and shaved-crotch smooth on that thing. MY RIG makes me sound like a better guitar player than I actually am, but even it's fantastic tone can't cover up the fact that I'm sucking ass at guitar playing, and I haven't done my due dilligence of practicing in the time I've been living with my girlfriend in a one bedroom apartment.
That raises the question, why not. Is it because I'm in a one bedroom apartment? Was it lack of time? Was I just lazy? Did I feel like I would be disconnecting myself from her doing such a solo activity? Whatever it was, who cares, I didn't practice, I sound like crap, and I'm thinking of taking on students again this summer.
But I totally don't feel like practising (sic) tonight.
Without The Safety Net
About two years before I joined this site, I was diagnosed with panic disorder, later changed to Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and then changed back to panic disorder.
After being on ativan, rivotril, zoloft, paxil, effexor, and there's more in the history of my life; two week trials of things here and there, I am now on nothing.
For the first time in over seven years, I was able to finally see a psychiatrist (I've seen many a physician and psychologist) only for him to say that I'll never make progress on my medication, and so called 'coping mechanisms' provided by psychologists are only there to really serve the same purpose as pills: to distract me from the symptoms while never really facing the anxiety head on.
I know those who have become nearly agoraphobic through untreated anxiety or panic disorder. However, under the guidance of a psychiatrist I would consider myself in treatment.
Coming Down
I've done it before. There were times when I couldn't afford the $96 it costs for a month's worth of Effexor XR, so there are times I just didn't take anything. But there is a problem; the horrible withdrawal. I feel nautious, shitty, sleepy, and like the whole world's out to get me. And the worst part is it's a viscious cycle, driven by my friends and family who know what's up, but are just waiting for me to snap. It's infuriating when someone accuses you of being angry because you're going through withdrawal, even if that IS the case, and even if you are legitamately angry, or they're being legitimately odd - you're the one going through withdrawal so you're the one with the problem.
Fuck.
I was told I could take prozac to help come down off of this, but really, more pills?
The drugs don't work, they just make you worse...
About two years before I joined this site, I was diagnosed with panic disorder, later changed to Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and then changed back to panic disorder.
After being on ativan, rivotril, zoloft, paxil, effexor, and there's more in the history of my life; two week trials of things here and there, I am now on nothing.
For the first time in over seven years, I was able to finally see a psychiatrist (I've seen many a physician and psychologist) only for him to say that I'll never make progress on my medication, and so called 'coping mechanisms' provided by psychologists are only there to really serve the same purpose as pills: to distract me from the symptoms while never really facing the anxiety head on.
I know those who have become nearly agoraphobic through untreated anxiety or panic disorder. However, under the guidance of a psychiatrist I would consider myself in treatment.
Coming Down
I've done it before. There were times when I couldn't afford the $96 it costs for a month's worth of Effexor XR, so there are times I just didn't take anything. But there is a problem; the horrible withdrawal. I feel nautious, shitty, sleepy, and like the whole world's out to get me. And the worst part is it's a viscious cycle, driven by my friends and family who know what's up, but are just waiting for me to snap. It's infuriating when someone accuses you of being angry because you're going through withdrawal, even if that IS the case, and even if you are legitamately angry, or they're being legitimately odd - you're the one going through withdrawal so you're the one with the problem.
Fuck.
I was told I could take prozac to help come down off of this, but really, more pills?
The drugs don't work, they just make you worse...
Canada's Economic Plan
EI! EI! Ohhhh...
There's a lot of argument about the tories versus the new democrats and how it would effect the average working family. I imagine I'm not the average working family, because I am not a family, and I am not working.
The two sides of it are that under the tories, the economy would be stronger; thus creating more jobs, or allowing people who have jobs to be paid more. Or you look at it from the new democrats, who want to institute social programs. Social programs may not always be good for the economy (you have to think of social programs as sort of matrix or graph where if what you pay into social programs allows consumer spending and a more productive workforce, up to the point where the economy grows and the government makes back what they put in at the least - then it's good - if not - it's a shortfall waste of time and money - at least capitallistically). Which would be better for me?
I'm back on EI, because quite frankly, EI provides me with more money than working two different low wage part time jobs would. Under the tories, I would supposedly not need EI, because there would be plenty of jobs out there that would pay me decently enough and be easy enough to get. Or, how about the new democrats. In that case, I could just get more EI, student loans and government grants to continue my education. It seems in either case, it's two sides of the same coin.
Except it isn't. I prefer being a productive part of society; and I wish there were more than just very low paying, 2 shifts a week part time jobs out there for people like me.
But what can you do?
EI! EI! Ohhhh...
There's a lot of argument about the tories versus the new democrats and how it would effect the average working family. I imagine I'm not the average working family, because I am not a family, and I am not working.
The two sides of it are that under the tories, the economy would be stronger; thus creating more jobs, or allowing people who have jobs to be paid more. Or you look at it from the new democrats, who want to institute social programs. Social programs may not always be good for the economy (you have to think of social programs as sort of matrix or graph where if what you pay into social programs allows consumer spending and a more productive workforce, up to the point where the economy grows and the government makes back what they put in at the least - then it's good - if not - it's a shortfall waste of time and money - at least capitallistically). Which would be better for me?
I'm back on EI, because quite frankly, EI provides me with more money than working two different low wage part time jobs would. Under the tories, I would supposedly not need EI, because there would be plenty of jobs out there that would pay me decently enough and be easy enough to get. Or, how about the new democrats. In that case, I could just get more EI, student loans and government grants to continue my education. It seems in either case, it's two sides of the same coin.
Except it isn't. I prefer being a productive part of society; and I wish there were more than just very low paying, 2 shifts a week part time jobs out there for people like me.
But what can you do?
We Used To
Use this to update each other on every little thing we used to do; even though we were doing it together. Guess what? We're going to the evertimeidie concert. Guess what? I like girl s. Guess what? Went to this awesome party. We all went to the awesome party.
We all stayed, cleaned up, went home, and now it's the Sunday of my life.
Now We
Are moving into a house together in only a few weeks. We lay next to each other in bed at night talking about our future plans, and how fantastic it is that we ended up together.
A love which had its' start documented on this blog itself.
By the way, those people at the party? Where are you guys now....?
Use this to update each other on every little thing we used to do; even though we were doing it together. Guess what? We're going to the evertimeidie concert. Guess what? I like girl s. Guess what? Went to this awesome party. We all went to the awesome party.
We all stayed, cleaned up, went home, and now it's the Sunday of my life.
Now We
Are moving into a house together in only a few weeks. We lay next to each other in bed at night talking about our future plans, and how fantastic it is that we ended up together.
A love which had its' start documented on this blog itself.
By the way, those people at the party? Where are you guys now....?
I want a turtle...
Not a ridiculously extravagent turtle but a box turtle. Three toed or red footed. Preferably male to match a female I already know. Preferably young so he can get used to me as his daddy and eat out of my hand and hang out with me as turtles sometimes do.
If you know of anyone who has something like this, let me know! I'd have one already but I'm not willing to fork over the $800 to a jerk off pet store. In fact, I think I would provide a great rescue home for any little guy like this that has been abandoned by previous owners.
Not a ridiculously extravagent turtle but a box turtle. Three toed or red footed. Preferably male to match a female I already know. Preferably young so he can get used to me as his daddy and eat out of my hand and hang out with me as turtles sometimes do.
If you know of anyone who has something like this, let me know! I'd have one already but I'm not willing to fork over the $800 to a jerk off pet store. In fact, I think I would provide a great rescue home for any little guy like this that has been abandoned by previous owners.
