Member: halfjack

halfjack is made of John Wayne's teeth

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MAR 26, 2009 | JUN 30, 2009
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Sunday blog
JUNE 7, 2009 @ 09:18 PM




Welcome back, adoring masses. I missed you. Let's have a long hug. There. Isn't that better? Why are you smelling me? This hug is over.

So the last few months have had quite a few ups and downs. We'll start with the elephant. This is a lot of bitching, so feel free to skip to the good stuff.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
For those of you keeping score, the ex left the city. She's got an apartment now with my friend that she allegedly didn't start hooking up with til a month after she left me, but who knows. The idea of that gal being single for an entire month is a little hard to swallow, but then most things are now. I knew what I was getting into (someone nicknamed "Maureen" a la Rent by the local lesbian gaggle ain't gonna be easy), and I knew that getting her to love me was going to take awhile. I guess I just wanted another shot at a "10". Nowadays, I don't even have a radar for that kind of thing. I spent 3 years not even looking at other girls, and now it's like I"m surrounded by these alien creatures I no longer recognize. I stare at them now, all of them. I have to. I have to look at every woman that passes by me now. I start to see something, but it's like someone is putting a magnet on my compass and I can't even tell who's hot, and who is kind. I don't have a type anymore. It's hard enough to remind myself every day that They're not all going to hurt me. I had trust issues before, but now, well. I went through the layers and layers of deceit, and each one worse than the last. I feel like I ate like the biggest box of Total to get to the toy surprise, which turned out to just be a moral wrapped in scar tissue and covered in doubt and wasted time. Wow. I can't even do analogies anymore. The thought that keeps coming back to me is this: We didn't live together. Yet within a month she was sleeping with someone new, calling them honey when they called, talking about how perfect it is now, and how they'll be getting a cat when they move into their new apartment together. So what the fuck was I? And where was she, that last year? Not with me, at least not emotionally. Either this new relationship is destined for failure, or I was a joke. The sad thing is, I don't know which I'd prefer.



Now, as far as my medical problems go, I finally got a diagnosis. It's not a big surprise really, considering how much I've been drinking lately.

Please get checked, and god bless.

My trip back to Baltimore was neat, but mired by the fact that I had the plague the whole weekend. My friends were nice enough to drag me out, but all that drinking did not help things. I left home with pinkeye too. Highlights:
In the bar, with a pitcher of steaming water. I'm fun.


A last supper panoramic at Friends. How perfect.




A few weeks ago I went to a wedding most rad out in Albuquerque, which is like Boston except completely the opposite. That is one city I'll be going back to. Some Highlights:
The church where the wedding was. I love churches in the Southwest. Plus, it kinda looks vaginal.


The groom and I, commencing in post-marriage, pre-coital ceremonies




The view from his hotel at during the after-party


Me floored, and apparently snarling at said view


We went to the aquarium the next day. It was awesome. To match the vagina above, see if you can find the phallic object. Like the church, I didn't notice it until my friends pointed it out.


Also did you know that jellyfish have no eyes of vertebraes? You probably did. But did you know that they have no BRAINS? Yeah. They're frickin aliens. And I think this information could be used against zombies. Like rubbing jellyfish all over us to ward them off?


Also, Soirale, one of my most favoritest people in world came to visit. Sleep didn't really happen, but fun did. She should come back.


Finally, there might be a "new hope" in the works. The kind with a vagina. She's very honest, and very patient. And in the world of interesting coincidences, she's on this site. We'll see, readers. We'll see.
I have to go now. I know, I know. But this was long, and I am tired. What did I tell you about begging?


Shut cho mouth, Mel. Let her be happy.

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Comments
Tadzi

Tadzi

Greeley, CO
April 2003

JUN 07, 2009 09:51 PM

you got to see gina. im jealous.

as for the girl front, ive decided to cut the shit and to just be celibate. really cuts down on the bullshit and it saves time on hellos and goodbyes.

anyway, at the risk of sounding cliche, you should call me sometime. youre one of the ones i dont want to kill.

DominaNefret

DominaNefret

Reston, VA
February 2004

JUN 07, 2009 10:27 PM

That church does look startlingly like a vagina.

Sorry about your reationship woes. Girls suck a little, it is true.

I'm starting to agree with ^, celibacy might be for me for awhile.

soiraile

soiraile

Drexel Hill, PA
January 2005

JUN 07, 2009 11:16 PM

i stole that picture smile
ill comment properly tomorrow. im too tired right now and sleep is happening tonight.

beautifulxalone

beautifulxalone

HOPEFUL

Somerville, MA

JUN 08, 2009 05:38 AM

hmmm. you didn't tell me about this diagnosis!

Also, kiss

Rizzo

Rizzo

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

JUN 09, 2009 02:45 PM

It's a mini rock climbing wall where you like race someone or something. I dunno, the place was crazy.

I don't know about centipedes, but I think I got me some earwigs. eeek

poeticdesires

poeticdesires

Baltimore, MD
June 2005

JUN 09, 2009 03:08 PM

dude, you suck. you came and went without saying hi. but, then again, for all i know you mentioned it on here and i suck for not checking the site for a month. so, never mind.
on the emotional front, i've had to catch myself when i get upset at my SO for stuff a past asshole did. it happens. it gets better. i hope things work out with you and the new lady.
i promise to be on the site more and the next time you come around i will know about i and make the time to say hi.
til then, stay cool.

<3,
poetic

Otoki

Otoki

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

JUN 09, 2009 03:26 PM

I can't believe I haven't requested you before. I just re-read your post in "Do you believe a man can be a feminist" and just had tobiggrin

Tadzi

Tadzi

Greeley, CO
April 2003

JUN 09, 2009 09:31 PM

its a lot easier when theres little choice involved. that is to say, in addition to my physical handicap, i am so rarely around people (and so rarely want to be around people) that theres no temptation.

im sure eventually ill have a moment of stupidity weakness and end up hooking up with someone because this is not the first time ive made this decision, im just going to try and make it as long as possible.

i figure "the right girl," for me would be someone most people would refer to as a bitch. my ideal relationship would be analagous to dr. cox and jordan on Scrubs if you are familiar. my problem is strong (read as bitchy) girls dont like me. only needy and psychotic ones

Otoki

Otoki

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

JUN 09, 2009 09:47 PM

Oh, you just said something intelligent to refute the OP's idiotic premise, that's allwink

Tadzi

Tadzi

Greeley, CO
April 2003

JUN 09, 2009 10:24 PM

its more along the lines of the fact that im a hateful mean spirited bastard and i would want someone like that. everyone else can have the sweet sappy shit. i want someone to make fun of everyone else with me.

and congrats on the quitting smoking. im closing on 2 weeks and i hate hate hate it. i pretty much quit because its too expensive. not some desire to be more healthy. if theres one thing im not interested in, its prolonging life.

seriously though, good for you, man. hope its going better for you than it is for me.

Alyk

Alyk

Boston, MA
February 2005

JUN 09, 2009 10:35 PM

Ugggggggh. God, I hate you so much.

P.S. Let's hang out soon!

obnoxiouspants

obnoxiouspants

Philadelphia, PA
May 2005

JUN 10, 2009 12:31 AM

a tens years dead tarantula embalmed in vodka

MissPrint

MissPrint

Boston, MA
February 2003

JUN 10, 2009 03:33 AM

What needs splainin'?

I ain't hangin' out with you 'til you clear up that problem with your vag. I have a deep-seated fear of arthropods, especially ones that dwell in vaginas.

Yesenia

Yesenia

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

JUN 10, 2009 06:45 AM

DominaNefret

DominaNefret

Reston, VA
February 2004

JUN 10, 2009 04:19 PM

I totally had a sex dream with you in it last night.

I woke up thinking "huh? Where the fuck did that come from?"

It also had kittens.

Though they weren't involved in anything sexual. They were just being cute.

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