Ok well I'm back everyone. Least for now that is. The little automated message said one of my friends poped money for a promotional code to get me to come back, but more than likely I think SG.Com has an automated system to re invite us lol. But oh well. So everyone knows I am now in Washington state, stationed at Fort Lewis. Swung by Fort Gordon, GA to change my MOS (job) from 25C to 25U. Ill clarify the differences later lol. But all is well at the moment. I'll chat more when I have more time.
You know its really sad when, here we are in the middle of a war that we are losing, and our president cant even make a decision on how to handle it. I mean is it really so hard? We have outposts in Afghanistan that are poorly maned because we lack the personnel to do that job. So his options are a) send the 40k troops that Gen. McChrystal says he needs or b) quit wasting our troops lives and bring them home. That's it. It doesn't take more than 2 months of debates to make that decision. Its cut and dry: give us what we need or bring us home. If Obama wants us to continue to fight in Afghanistan then he needs to start listening to his military ad visors, not blowing them off and listing to half-ass plans of idiots like his VP Joe Biden. Honestly how anyone can doubt that man's low IQ is beyond me. His purposed this "ingenious" strategy of ignoring the Taliban and focus solely on Al-Qaeda. All that shows is his lack of military knowledge. If the Taliban are actively attacking us, IE shooting their AKs, firing rpgs and launching mortars, then we cant simply "ignore" them. Its kinda of impossible to ignore 400 men storming your position with the intention of killing you. Well I guess you could, up until they execute you for the camera. So no Mr. Biden ignoring is out. Not going to work, I'm sorry I'm not one of your "yes men" senators that have your back. There's enough Yes Men out there, we need some naysayers.
It comes down to: How much am I willing to commit, and if I can't contribute what the commander needs, do I have to change my objective? It happens time and time again with senior military commanders and civilian leaders. The civilians know what they want to accomplish, that's the easy part. But what they all seem to have issues with are when they're told by the military, "Ok this is what you want us to do, well here's the assessets we need to do it." A lot of the times that's where the problem lies. Obama wants to defeat or reconceliate the Taliban back into the general population, but what he doesn't realize is while Afghanistan isn't very large it's mountainous, rough terrain makes it much harder to secure than a flat landscape, like say Iraq, would be covering the same area. So when the General says he needs 40thousand more troops, that's not a guess, not an inflated number, its an exact number that he feels he needs. And if anyone out there is following events like I do they'll realize he's right. Just this past week we had a poorly maned out post (maybe 50 troops tops, some night shift some day so that's means roughly 25 per shift) very nearly get annihilated by more than 300 Taliban who assaulted their position, taking out our heavy machine guns first then very nearly defeating the defenders. In a battle that lasted several hours the troops finally managed to push them off. Its a battle that shouldn't of happened, wouldst of if they had the proper number of personnel to man the post, conduct patrols, and had supporting elements like air power and artillery at their disposal.
One quote from Gen. McChrystal states: “It took us longer than I wish it had to recognise this is a serious insurgency. We have under-resourced our operations. In some areas we have not performed,” he said. “The situation is serious, and I choose that word very, very carefully.” When your commander in the region says something to this affect you need to sit up and pay attention, quit paying politics with Congress, and start listening to the men who are risking everything over there. They are the ones who have the most to loose, not some politician.
Whats really sad is MCChrystal is so desperate to help his men out that he seems to accepted that Obama lacks the leadership skills to make the hard decisions necessary, and has turned directly to our allies the Brits, and NATO for help, effectively cutting Obama out. Like he's serving a purpose anyways dragging his heels. Angela Merkel’s recent election victory has raised hopes that the Germans can be persuaded to bolster their contribution. How useful the soldiers would be is another matter. NATO officials report that the German contingent based in northern Afghanistan have been traumatised by their recent experiences in Kunduz, where they suffered their first battlefield fatality since the Second World War, and doubt they have the mental strength to constitute an effective combat force. Now that's pathetic, first death in over 50 years and all ready traumatized. The French, meanwhile, continue to fall well short of President Nicolas Sarkozy’s repeated pledges to the Obama administration about making a major contribution. They are more than capable of deploying a division-strength force of up to 10,000 men, but have only managed to provide 3,000. What do you expect honestly? Its the French. Add to this the Obama administration’s reluctance to approve Gen McChrystal’s request for extra forces and it is easy to see how the Taliban might conclude that the West has no real heart for the fight, and will soon be ordering its troops to pack their bags. Gen McChrystal has given warning that the Afghan campaign is not going well. But it is sobering to think that, unless there is a radical change in the attitude of Western leaders, things might well get a lot worse.
Then again you can't really blame the Brits for being reluctant. According to the London Times: David Miliband urged President Obama to embrace a renewed “hearts and minds” strategy in Afghanistan as ministers indicated that they would not send more British troops unless the US adopted such an approach. The Foreign Secretary did not mention America by name but called on every government in the coalition to back troops, aid workers and diplomats in support of a clear plan. “We came into this together. We see it through — together,” he told the Labour conference in Brighton. His words reflect a growing concern in the Government over Mr Obama’s apparent reluctance to garner political consent for a troop “surge”, which commanders say is needed to build up the Afghan Army and defeat the Taliban insurgency. General Stanley McChrystal, the top commander in Afghanistan, wants a revamped counter-insurgency — more forces on the ground engaging civilians and persuading the Taliban to switch sides — as opposed to a counter-terrorism strategy focused on Al-Qaeda — reducing troop numbers and attacking militants mostly with drone missile strikes.
But the problem with the "hearts and minds" approach in Afghanistan is its not necessarily going to work as well as it did in Iraq. In Iraq the people we're fairly educated, only had a few major groups at each other's throats (Jaish al-Mahdi (JAM), takfiri, Al-Queda, and Kurds were the major players) and eventually Al-Queda worked against their own goals but allying the other groups together, effectively turning the whole country against themselves.
However Afghanistan is a whole different beast from Iraq. Instead of a few major players they are broke up into incalculable numbers of small clans that have deep rooted hatred and mistrust of each other, often culminating into very dangerous blood feuds dating back 80 years ago. On top of that the Taliban feared educating its people, because history has proven time and time again: an educated oppressed people are much harder to subdue. And its still favoring them now: Some of the people there are so out of touch with the world that they thought we were the SOVIETS when we first make contact with them. Most don't know who we are or care, we aren't one of them, so we need to be killed. And to really complicate matters the bulk of the US backed government is corrupt to its core. Just look at these past elections and you'll see what I mean there.
I'm not a Hawk, who glorifies war in spite of my military background. I do believe some fights need to be fought, and at this point its our responsibility to fix our mistakes in Afghanistan, after all we cant out-st a government then leave the people there to kill each other in a civil war, but if our president isnt willing to commit more troops then he needs to start working on withdrawing our personnel. Its time to put-up or shut-up. He cant stand around "debating" on this forever. While he sits comfortably in the White House, recouping from his recent vacation, there are people over seas dieing for him.
It comes down to: How much am I willing to commit, and if I can't contribute what the commander needs, do I have to change my objective? It happens time and time again with senior military commanders and civilian leaders. The civilians know what they want to accomplish, that's the easy part. But what they all seem to have issues with are when they're told by the military, "Ok this is what you want us to do, well here's the assessets we need to do it." A lot of the times that's where the problem lies. Obama wants to defeat or reconceliate the Taliban back into the general population, but what he doesn't realize is while Afghanistan isn't very large it's mountainous, rough terrain makes it much harder to secure than a flat landscape, like say Iraq, would be covering the same area. So when the General says he needs 40thousand more troops, that's not a guess, not an inflated number, its an exact number that he feels he needs. And if anyone out there is following events like I do they'll realize he's right. Just this past week we had a poorly maned out post (maybe 50 troops tops, some night shift some day so that's means roughly 25 per shift) very nearly get annihilated by more than 300 Taliban who assaulted their position, taking out our heavy machine guns first then very nearly defeating the defenders. In a battle that lasted several hours the troops finally managed to push them off. Its a battle that shouldn't of happened, wouldst of if they had the proper number of personnel to man the post, conduct patrols, and had supporting elements like air power and artillery at their disposal.
One quote from Gen. McChrystal states: “It took us longer than I wish it had to recognise this is a serious insurgency. We have under-resourced our operations. In some areas we have not performed,” he said. “The situation is serious, and I choose that word very, very carefully.” When your commander in the region says something to this affect you need to sit up and pay attention, quit paying politics with Congress, and start listening to the men who are risking everything over there. They are the ones who have the most to loose, not some politician.
Whats really sad is MCChrystal is so desperate to help his men out that he seems to accepted that Obama lacks the leadership skills to make the hard decisions necessary, and has turned directly to our allies the Brits, and NATO for help, effectively cutting Obama out. Like he's serving a purpose anyways dragging his heels. Angela Merkel’s recent election victory has raised hopes that the Germans can be persuaded to bolster their contribution. How useful the soldiers would be is another matter. NATO officials report that the German contingent based in northern Afghanistan have been traumatised by their recent experiences in Kunduz, where they suffered their first battlefield fatality since the Second World War, and doubt they have the mental strength to constitute an effective combat force. Now that's pathetic, first death in over 50 years and all ready traumatized. The French, meanwhile, continue to fall well short of President Nicolas Sarkozy’s repeated pledges to the Obama administration about making a major contribution. They are more than capable of deploying a division-strength force of up to 10,000 men, but have only managed to provide 3,000. What do you expect honestly? Its the French. Add to this the Obama administration’s reluctance to approve Gen McChrystal’s request for extra forces and it is easy to see how the Taliban might conclude that the West has no real heart for the fight, and will soon be ordering its troops to pack their bags. Gen McChrystal has given warning that the Afghan campaign is not going well. But it is sobering to think that, unless there is a radical change in the attitude of Western leaders, things might well get a lot worse.
Then again you can't really blame the Brits for being reluctant. According to the London Times: David Miliband urged President Obama to embrace a renewed “hearts and minds” strategy in Afghanistan as ministers indicated that they would not send more British troops unless the US adopted such an approach. The Foreign Secretary did not mention America by name but called on every government in the coalition to back troops, aid workers and diplomats in support of a clear plan. “We came into this together. We see it through — together,” he told the Labour conference in Brighton. His words reflect a growing concern in the Government over Mr Obama’s apparent reluctance to garner political consent for a troop “surge”, which commanders say is needed to build up the Afghan Army and defeat the Taliban insurgency. General Stanley McChrystal, the top commander in Afghanistan, wants a revamped counter-insurgency — more forces on the ground engaging civilians and persuading the Taliban to switch sides — as opposed to a counter-terrorism strategy focused on Al-Qaeda — reducing troop numbers and attacking militants mostly with drone missile strikes.
But the problem with the "hearts and minds" approach in Afghanistan is its not necessarily going to work as well as it did in Iraq. In Iraq the people we're fairly educated, only had a few major groups at each other's throats (Jaish al-Mahdi (JAM), takfiri, Al-Queda, and Kurds were the major players) and eventually Al-Queda worked against their own goals but allying the other groups together, effectively turning the whole country against themselves.
However Afghanistan is a whole different beast from Iraq. Instead of a few major players they are broke up into incalculable numbers of small clans that have deep rooted hatred and mistrust of each other, often culminating into very dangerous blood feuds dating back 80 years ago. On top of that the Taliban feared educating its people, because history has proven time and time again: an educated oppressed people are much harder to subdue. And its still favoring them now: Some of the people there are so out of touch with the world that they thought we were the SOVIETS when we first make contact with them. Most don't know who we are or care, we aren't one of them, so we need to be killed. And to really complicate matters the bulk of the US backed government is corrupt to its core. Just look at these past elections and you'll see what I mean there.
I'm not a Hawk, who glorifies war in spite of my military background. I do believe some fights need to be fought, and at this point its our responsibility to fix our mistakes in Afghanistan, after all we cant out-st a government then leave the people there to kill each other in a civil war, but if our president isnt willing to commit more troops then he needs to start working on withdrawing our personnel. Its time to put-up or shut-up. He cant stand around "debating" on this forever. While he sits comfortably in the White House, recouping from his recent vacation, there are people over seas dieing for him.
I dont know what it is but ever since I got back from Iraq this past August my sleep habits have been shot. Sure before I left I useually went to sleep around 11pm-12am. Was never a big deal. With in 20 minuets of laying down I'd be fast asleep. But now no matter what time I head to bed I wind up tossing and turning for hours, geting next to no sleep. Hell I've had a few days where I got no sleep what so ever, and still had a hard time the next night geting to sleep. Wheres those fucking sheep when you need them, right? I really dont know what to do about this. Only thing thats been helping is either Jim Beam or NyQuil and neither are really good choices. I suppose I should go to the docs about this but theres only two things they'll do to me: 1) put me on sleeping pills or 2) treat me like I'm trying to get out of PT. Honestly they'll most likely do the 2nd option. Its what Army docs useually do. But if they do opt for the first do I really want to be on perscription sleeping pills? One problem is they tend to be highly addictive. Aint geting much sleep with out them now but if I get addicted and try and get off them again my sleep habbits will go strait to the gutter. And two and this is the bigger problem if I'm on sleeping pills I could very well wind up over sleeping, and even with a medical excuse the Army is not very considerate of being late to work. As a civilian they may understand, or at the very least as long as you have that doctor excuse the hell they going to do really? They fire you sue. Problem is as a Soldier they can royally fuck me up even with medical excuses. They can take my rank, my pay, my free time, make me pull rediculous hours for months on end for being late to work. I have seen it happen to one guy at my old Unit who was on perscription sleeping pills. Yeah after a year of fighting our command he finally won, but honestly a year? I'm not that patient 
. So in the mean time here I am almost midnight, wanting to get to sleep, actually sleepy, but after 3 hours in bed I aint made no progress. Sigh.
. So in the mean time here I am almost midnight, wanting to get to sleep, actually sleepy, but after 3 hours in bed I aint made no progress. Sigh.OK quick personal blog so those people who I consider to be friends can catch up on my life. Sorry if I haven't been keeping in contact lately, kinda stressed out to my max. You see thanks to the recession we are currently in my home town is basically bankrupt. So I decided it was in my best interest to reenlist, even though pretty much every one who knows me knows I want out of the Army. But you don't always get what you want. So I reluctantly rein-listed while I was still in Iraq. Three more years, three thousand more bucks, and most importantly a new MOS (job for the nonmilitary out there). So I figured I was pretty much set for the next 3 years, no more worries in the job department, right? Wrong.
SFC Eddie, the NCO who did my reenlistment, fucked up. I signed all the papers, raised my right hand and in front of my platoon gave the military three more years of my life, and figured all was well. Came back to America, got moved to a different unit, and soon after found out that I'm still going out Nov 22 of this year. What the fuck? So I go to this units re-up NCO, a Master Sargent, to find out whats going on, and he finds out I "never" re-upped. So I whipped out my copy of the contract, with all those wonderful signatures on it, proving that I did, so he does some digging, and found out SFC Eddie never finalized my paperwork.
Nov 22 is fast approaching now, and if this dont get fixed like NOW I'm going to have no choice but to get out of the Army. But here comes the real kick in the ass. I'm in America now, not deployed in Iraq. So that three grand? IF and I mean IF I get it, its going to get taxed. But chances are I wont get any cash, since they met all their retention goals there's no bonuses for a lot of us now. My class date? Gone. Army thought I wasn't re-upping so they had to give it away, so I have to get a much later date, if I can get it at all. If they get all the 25Us they need I wont be able to get that anymore.
On Top of that I injured my back and arm somehow. Wasn't lifting anymore than I'm use to but some how I pulled a muscle in my upper back/shoulder some how and my limbs are killing me. Doc cant figure out whats going on. Surprise surprise. So all there doing is giving me weak ass painkillers that barley rate as Motrin. Mean time my shit hurts bad.
Bah Nobody loves me I should kill myself. lol
SFC Eddie, the NCO who did my reenlistment, fucked up. I signed all the papers, raised my right hand and in front of my platoon gave the military three more years of my life, and figured all was well. Came back to America, got moved to a different unit, and soon after found out that I'm still going out Nov 22 of this year. What the fuck? So I go to this units re-up NCO, a Master Sargent, to find out whats going on, and he finds out I "never" re-upped. So I whipped out my copy of the contract, with all those wonderful signatures on it, proving that I did, so he does some digging, and found out SFC Eddie never finalized my paperwork.
Nov 22 is fast approaching now, and if this dont get fixed like NOW I'm going to have no choice but to get out of the Army. But here comes the real kick in the ass. I'm in America now, not deployed in Iraq. So that three grand? IF and I mean IF I get it, its going to get taxed. But chances are I wont get any cash, since they met all their retention goals there's no bonuses for a lot of us now. My class date? Gone. Army thought I wasn't re-upping so they had to give it away, so I have to get a much later date, if I can get it at all. If they get all the 25Us they need I wont be able to get that anymore.
On Top of that I injured my back and arm somehow. Wasn't lifting anymore than I'm use to but some how I pulled a muscle in my upper back/shoulder some how and my limbs are killing me. Doc cant figure out whats going on. Surprise surprise. So all there doing is giving me weak ass painkillers that barley rate as Motrin. Mean time my shit hurts bad.
Bah Nobody loves me I should kill myself. lol
All day on July 7 '09 cnn, msnbc, and pretty much every other channel on TV had all day coverage of the lavish farewell to M.Jackson. In fact thats all they really showed. To this day thats all anyone seems to still talk about is a rich millionaire who managed to get him self killed by ODing on some pills.
So while every one else makes a stink bout M.Jackson's tragic loss I did some reading about some deaths that are actually important and truly tragic. So on July 7th, 2009 the following servicemen, some American, some Canooks, and some Brits, gave their lifes for somthing worthwhile:
Sgt. Timothy David
Sgt. 1st Class Edward Kramer
Sgt Roger Adams
Sgt Juan Baldeosingh
Spc Robert Bittiker
Pfc Justin Casillas
Pfc Aaron Fairbairn
Petty Officer 2nd Class Tony Randolph
Lance Cpl Charles Sharp
Sgt Terry Lynch
1st Lt Brian Bradshaw
Spc Joshua Hazlewood
LTC Rupert Thorneloe
Trooper Joshua Hammond
Cpl Nick Bulger
Master-Corporal Paul Audet
Corporal Martin joanette
and Master-Cpl Charles-Phillipe Michaud.
You are not forgotten
So while every one else makes a stink bout M.Jackson's tragic loss I did some reading about some deaths that are actually important and truly tragic. So on July 7th, 2009 the following servicemen, some American, some Canooks, and some Brits, gave their lifes for somthing worthwhile:
Sgt. Timothy David
Sgt. 1st Class Edward Kramer
Sgt Roger Adams
Sgt Juan Baldeosingh
Spc Robert Bittiker
Pfc Justin Casillas
Pfc Aaron Fairbairn
Petty Officer 2nd Class Tony Randolph
Lance Cpl Charles Sharp
Sgt Terry Lynch
1st Lt Brian Bradshaw
Spc Joshua Hazlewood
LTC Rupert Thorneloe
Trooper Joshua Hammond
Cpl Nick Bulger
Master-Corporal Paul Audet
Corporal Martin joanette
and Master-Cpl Charles-Phillipe Michaud.
You are not forgotten
Apparently there was once this fuck up named Spc "Skippy" Schwartz. You can find this list online. I heard about it from my bosses so i googled it, laughed my mother fucking ass off, and thought why not post it on here for some humor. so here goes...
The 213 Things .
1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when Im supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is Specialist Schwarz not Princess Anastasia.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyones disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play Pulp Fiction with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add In accordance with the prophesy to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I dont like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product Get Over it.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyones soul on government time.
11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to Sic Brass!
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my Samson like powers.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous Barbie Girl Dance while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if Im right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a Wanker.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if theyve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if its true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that We kicked your ass in World War 2!
27. Dont tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Dont take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after Me frosted lucky charms.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing High Speed Dirt by Megadeth during airborne operations. (See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, Im off to meet my maker)
36. Cant have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isnt over).
37. Our medic is called Sgt Larwasa, not Dr. Feelgood.
38. Our supply Sgt is Sgt Watkins not Sugar Daddy.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. Keep on Trucking is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankinds baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddys little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for magic beans.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote Dr Seuss on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell Take that Cobra at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote Full Metal Jacket at the rifle range.
54. Napalm sticks to kids is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to Put Kiwi on my boots does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to Make my Boots black and shiny does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not Why?
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, weve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. The Giant Space Ants are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean I have been promoted three more times than you.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no Anti-Mime campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to Block out the space mind control lasers.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed Skyclad.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them You dont need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with I recently had an experience I just had to write you about .
84. Must not use military vehicles to Squish things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the field of honor.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as Mom.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as Dad.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony Romper Bomper Stomper Boo is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. Redneck Zombies is not a military training aid.
97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are casualties of war.
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a Cool Mint Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CDs.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a leg officer, an appropriate greeting is not Airborne leads the wa- oh sorry sir.
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from Full Monty every time I hear the song Hot Stuff.
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
116. Crucifying mice bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to waterproof dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages does not imply that a Jack Daniels ® IV is acceptable.
128. Shpadoinkle is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft ® Dancing Paperclip is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. Im drunk is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting Lets do the village! Lets do the whole fucking village! while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make MRE bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove The Pen is Mightier than the sword.
142. Calvin-Ball is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a range card by my window.
144. K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
148. Putting red Mike and Ikes ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir not You cant prove a thing!
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to guard the flight line.
154. Shouldnt treat piss-bottles with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
156. I will no longer perform lap-dances while in uniform.
157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
158. The revolution is not now.
159. When detained by MPs, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
163. Take that hat off.
164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
165. I do not get that time of month.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* especially patriotic films
170. Not allowed to defect to OPFOR during training missions.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the Generals helicopter.
172. A full magazine and some privacy is not the way to help a potential suicide.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, its actually DOD policy).
175. We do not charge into battle, naked, like the Celts.
176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
177. I am not to refer to a formation as the boxy rectangle thingie.
178. I am not A lesbian trapped in a mans body.
179. On Army documents, my race is not Other.
180. Nor is it Secretariat, in the third.
181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for wall-to-wall counseling.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something I saw in a cartoon.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn.
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make smores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not Thats what you think.
193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldnt take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldnt use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing Henry the VIII I am until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a Coup during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I just happen to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the Safety Dance and the Safety Briefing are never to be combined.
203. To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an Easter Desecration.
205. Dont write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. (Broken clutch pedal, Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs, flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged)
206. Not allowed to get shot.
207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are hearing conversations from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism this was the same dinner.)
210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing Eat Pork or Die in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
211. Dont ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I dont have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
213. Do not convince NCOs that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.
The 213 Things .
1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when Im supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is Specialist Schwarz not Princess Anastasia.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyones disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play Pulp Fiction with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add In accordance with the prophesy to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I dont like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product Get Over it.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyones soul on government time.
11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to Sic Brass!
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my Samson like powers.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous Barbie Girl Dance while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if Im right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a Wanker.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if theyve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if its true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that We kicked your ass in World War 2!
27. Dont tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Dont take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after Me frosted lucky charms.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing High Speed Dirt by Megadeth during airborne operations. (See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, Im off to meet my maker)
36. Cant have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isnt over).
37. Our medic is called Sgt Larwasa, not Dr. Feelgood.
38. Our supply Sgt is Sgt Watkins not Sugar Daddy.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. Keep on Trucking is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankinds baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddys little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for magic beans.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote Dr Seuss on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell Take that Cobra at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote Full Metal Jacket at the rifle range.
54. Napalm sticks to kids is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to Put Kiwi on my boots does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to Make my Boots black and shiny does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not Why?
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, weve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. The Giant Space Ants are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean I have been promoted three more times than you.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no Anti-Mime campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to Block out the space mind control lasers.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed Skyclad.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them You dont need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with I recently had an experience I just had to write you about .
84. Must not use military vehicles to Squish things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the field of honor.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as Mom.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as Dad.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony Romper Bomper Stomper Boo is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. Redneck Zombies is not a military training aid.
97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are casualties of war.
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a Cool Mint Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CDs.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a leg officer, an appropriate greeting is not Airborne leads the wa- oh sorry sir.
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from Full Monty every time I hear the song Hot Stuff.
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
116. Crucifying mice bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to waterproof dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages does not imply that a Jack Daniels ® IV is acceptable.
128. Shpadoinkle is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft ® Dancing Paperclip is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. Im drunk is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting Lets do the village! Lets do the whole fucking village! while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make MRE bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove The Pen is Mightier than the sword.
142. Calvin-Ball is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a range card by my window.
144. K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
148. Putting red Mike and Ikes ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir not You cant prove a thing!
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to guard the flight line.
154. Shouldnt treat piss-bottles with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
156. I will no longer perform lap-dances while in uniform.
157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
158. The revolution is not now.
159. When detained by MPs, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
163. Take that hat off.
164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
165. I do not get that time of month.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* especially patriotic films
170. Not allowed to defect to OPFOR during training missions.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the Generals helicopter.
172. A full magazine and some privacy is not the way to help a potential suicide.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, its actually DOD policy).
175. We do not charge into battle, naked, like the Celts.
176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
177. I am not to refer to a formation as the boxy rectangle thingie.
178. I am not A lesbian trapped in a mans body.
179. On Army documents, my race is not Other.
180. Nor is it Secretariat, in the third.
181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for wall-to-wall counseling.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something I saw in a cartoon.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn.
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make smores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not Thats what you think.
193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldnt take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldnt use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing Henry the VIII I am until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a Coup during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I just happen to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the Safety Dance and the Safety Briefing are never to be combined.
203. To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an Easter Desecration.
205. Dont write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. (Broken clutch pedal, Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs, flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged)
206. Not allowed to get shot.
207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are hearing conversations from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism this was the same dinner.)
210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing Eat Pork or Die in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
211. Dont ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I dont have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
213. Do not convince NCOs that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.
Wow just when I think I can't get fucked any harder the army proves me wrong. We had a "wonderful" award ceremony for all of our hard work this morning. They drug us out of bed, around 0615, had us stand around in a formation for another 20 minuets or so (keeping with the military tradition of "hurry up and wait") then finally began the show. Like a typical army officer our Coloel loves to hear him self speak but now quite as much as others. At the very least he kept his "I am proud of you" speech to a minimum. I've seen some go on for ten minuets. Then it got down to the actual awards...
First major surprise/slap in the face was the fact that everyone with simi-significant rank got a Bronze Star. That is a hell of an award to get for siting on your ass for 15 months. I mean I've seen guys who spent their whole deployments geting shot at by hajji return with out a Bronze Star so to see a bunch of Sargent First Classes and Liutenants get one for basically hiding on a FOB (Forward Operating Base) the whole time comes as somthing of a surprise. But that is more of an insult to the men and women who have bleed and died in this hole and got the same award even though they deserved better.
The big slap in the face for me personally is the "award" I got as compared to the award that some of our shit-bag soldiers got. You see all I got was a Certificate of Appreceation. Basically a faggat-ass piece of paper that says thanks for wasting 15 fucking months of your life for a rich man's war. Its worth, I'm told, 10 promotion points. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Personally its not worth the paper its printed on to me. Since I've been here, I got spat on, attacked by detainees, got in trouble for cussing one of the shit heads out for throwing a water bottle at me, and so on. Thats the bad stuff. I've also done my job to the best of my ability, have drastically improved my PT score to the point that our PT Studs refuse to do any sort of abdominal training with me (they insist I'm crazy and the shit is to damn hard), and have ingeneral been a self maintaining soldier. A lot of guys need some one looking over their shoulder for every little thing from doing laundry to being on time to formation. And all I get is a Certificate of Appreceation?
Mean while soldiers who sat in an officer this whole fucking deployment, soldiers who can't meet the fucking weight requirments, soldiers who cant pass a motherfucking PT test, soldier who need their sargents to look over their damn shoulders, tell them to do their laundry, take the burger king wrappers out of their closet and throw them away, who need some one to say, "hey! you stink wash your goddamn ass for fuck's sake," get a goddamn ARCOM??? Those are worth 25 promotion points. Hell damn near everyone of them worthless fucks are geting out of the army anyways the fuck they need with 25 promotion points? Thats what I get for re-inlisting. I honestly shouldnt of listend to my dad I should of went with my gut and got the fuck out. But no the economy went to hell and I wasnt sure if i could get more work. So I reinlisted. And this is what I get. Its not what you know but who's dick you suck if you wana get by in the army.
I mean it may sound stupid to some of you out there for me to bitch about this, but it is insulting to me, a whole 15 months in this hole and I have busted my ass out here too. Working in 150 degree temps, cut my self open on razor wire, pulled long hours and this is what I get? Whats really bad is there is no limit to how many ARCOMs they can give out, the whole goddamn unit can receive one. But instead they give'em to the shit bags. Welcome to the real world: rarely does anyone get what they deserve.
First major surprise/slap in the face was the fact that everyone with simi-significant rank got a Bronze Star. That is a hell of an award to get for siting on your ass for 15 months. I mean I've seen guys who spent their whole deployments geting shot at by hajji return with out a Bronze Star so to see a bunch of Sargent First Classes and Liutenants get one for basically hiding on a FOB (Forward Operating Base) the whole time comes as somthing of a surprise. But that is more of an insult to the men and women who have bleed and died in this hole and got the same award even though they deserved better.
The big slap in the face for me personally is the "award" I got as compared to the award that some of our shit-bag soldiers got. You see all I got was a Certificate of Appreceation. Basically a faggat-ass piece of paper that says thanks for wasting 15 fucking months of your life for a rich man's war. Its worth, I'm told, 10 promotion points. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Personally its not worth the paper its printed on to me. Since I've been here, I got spat on, attacked by detainees, got in trouble for cussing one of the shit heads out for throwing a water bottle at me, and so on. Thats the bad stuff. I've also done my job to the best of my ability, have drastically improved my PT score to the point that our PT Studs refuse to do any sort of abdominal training with me (they insist I'm crazy and the shit is to damn hard), and have ingeneral been a self maintaining soldier. A lot of guys need some one looking over their shoulder for every little thing from doing laundry to being on time to formation. And all I get is a Certificate of Appreceation?
Mean while soldiers who sat in an officer this whole fucking deployment, soldiers who can't meet the fucking weight requirments, soldiers who cant pass a motherfucking PT test, soldier who need their sargents to look over their damn shoulders, tell them to do their laundry, take the burger king wrappers out of their closet and throw them away, who need some one to say, "hey! you stink wash your goddamn ass for fuck's sake," get a goddamn ARCOM??? Those are worth 25 promotion points. Hell damn near everyone of them worthless fucks are geting out of the army anyways the fuck they need with 25 promotion points? Thats what I get for re-inlisting. I honestly shouldnt of listend to my dad I should of went with my gut and got the fuck out. But no the economy went to hell and I wasnt sure if i could get more work. So I reinlisted. And this is what I get. Its not what you know but who's dick you suck if you wana get by in the army.
I mean it may sound stupid to some of you out there for me to bitch about this, but it is insulting to me, a whole 15 months in this hole and I have busted my ass out here too. Working in 150 degree temps, cut my self open on razor wire, pulled long hours and this is what I get? Whats really bad is there is no limit to how many ARCOMs they can give out, the whole goddamn unit can receive one. But instead they give'em to the shit bags. Welcome to the real world: rarely does anyone get what they deserve.
For all the free people that still protest, you're welcome,
We protect you and you are protected by the best.
your voice is strong and loud, but who will fight for you?
No one standing in you crowd.
We are your fathers, brothers, and sons,
wearing the boots and carrying the guns.
We are the ones that leave all we own,
to make sure your future is carved in stone.
We are the ones who fight and die.
We might not be able to save the world, well at least we try.
We walked the paths to where we are at
and we want no choice other than that.
So when you rally your group to complain,
take a look in the back of your brin.
In order for that flag you love to fly,
wars must be fought and young men must die.
We came here to fight for the ones we hold dear,
if that's not respected, we would rather stay here.
So please stop yelling and put down your signs,
and pray for those behind enemy lines.
when the conflict is over and all is well,
be thankful that we chose to go though hell.
We protect you and you are protected by the best.
your voice is strong and loud, but who will fight for you?
No one standing in you crowd.
We are your fathers, brothers, and sons,
wearing the boots and carrying the guns.
We are the ones that leave all we own,
to make sure your future is carved in stone.
We are the ones who fight and die.
We might not be able to save the world, well at least we try.
We walked the paths to where we are at
and we want no choice other than that.
So when you rally your group to complain,
take a look in the back of your brin.
In order for that flag you love to fly,
wars must be fought and young men must die.
We came here to fight for the ones we hold dear,
if that's not respected, we would rather stay here.
So please stop yelling and put down your signs,
and pray for those behind enemy lines.
when the conflict is over and all is well,
be thankful that we chose to go though hell.
OCTOBER 2010
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SEPTEMBER 2010
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AUGUST 2010
JULY 2010
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